You are witnessing a close call.
Bossy and her family haven’t eaten out in months and months and months. They long ago realized that even the cheapest family restaurant adds up, especially when you factor in all of those martinis.
On Bossy’s laziest day, when she longs for someone else to cook the meal, she’ll contemplate the cost of an order of Rigatoni with Red Sauce, and she’ll weigh that cost against the price of tomatoes and against the price of a box of rigatoni and then she’ll subtract that amount from the hefty restaurant balance and add a tip and multiply by four and divide it by half and Bossy will do all of those things because she’s a math genius.
And when she’s done computing she’ll realize that even a decadent trip to the grocery store — a trip rife with splurges like artichoke hearts and pork tenderloin — still doesn’t approach the expense of a restaurant check.
And so she’ll haughtily trip off to the food store as though she found $100 in her dungaree pocket, all because she managed not to go out to eat.
But last night Bossy and her family were all tired from a trip to the city to visit the plastic surgeon, and the family was cranky from fighting their way through holiday traffic, and the family was all, “Must. Have. Thai. Food.”
And so Bossy and her husband decided on take-out, which is a slightly cheaper alternative. And they obsessed over the above menu and they plotted their shared items and they planned the perfect banquet for four and. The place is closed on Mondays.
Of course by the time they discovered the restaurant was closed, Bossy had already developed a yearning for a treat — which suddenly made her more than willing to spend the life savings on dinner out, especially considering they don’t actually have a Life Savings.
But luckily Bossy’s conscience kicked in, or maybe that was her Bloody Mary, but Bossy remembered her mathematical formula, where one Beef Penang Curry for $13.95 x 4 + 20% to the Tom Kah power = Get Your Arse To The Food Store And Make It Yourself.
And that’s exactly what Bossy did, she went to the food store. And when she says she went to the food store, she means her husband and son. And they returned with sweet red peppers and string beans and ginger and mushrooms and peanuts and thinly sliced steak, which Bossy whipped into a Satay frenzy.
The end.
Sparx says
December 23, 2008 at 9:45 amYou can do satay? Why can’t I do satay? Bugger.
The Domestic Goddess says
December 23, 2008 at 9:50 amYou did your own Thai? Dang, I’m impressed. That’s the one thing I only order, I can make mexican and decent (real) italian but Thai? Seems to complicated. But if Bossy can do it, I can do it!
Cathy D. says
December 23, 2008 at 10:08 amWhy Cathy can’t participate in any of of post including the words “Daily Poverty”: because my life is the opposite of Bossy’s blog post lede, and now I am consumed with guilt for all the meals I HAVE eaten but NOT cooked.
Liz in Virginia says
December 23, 2008 at 10:12 amAt our house it’s always, “Olive Garden won’t cost too much — we’ll just get soup and salad.” And then we get there and it’s soup and salad and a glass or five of wine and my daughter’s favorite appetizer (she’ll pay me back, promise!) and tiramisu (because SHE got an appetizer).
pam says
December 23, 2008 at 11:33 amGood job Bossy.
MariaV says
December 23, 2008 at 11:54 amWay to go Bossy!
I’m losing this battle. I work such long hours that unless I cook extra food over the weekend I eat take out almost every day.
Okie Sister says
December 23, 2008 at 12:21 pmPeople have to eat on Mondays too!
One of the best tips for when you do eat out is to order water to drink. Most places here don’t charge you for it.
You can buy a whole bottle of booze for what one cocktail costs at a restaurant.
Cooking at home will shrink your waist, eating out expands it. Another great reason to cook!
ruthwells says
December 23, 2008 at 12:53 pmOur kitchen faucet crapped out Sunday night and the plumber was triple-booked yesterday. So we caved and ordered Chinese (because it has only taken me 5 tries, but I have FINALLY internalized the fact that The Thai Place is closed on Mondays).
The Cheap Chick says
December 23, 2008 at 1:02 pmAll I want for Christmas is to witness Bossy whip ANYTHING into a satay frenzy. I think that could possibly make my year.
Oh, and Bossy? Drop by the blog today to see your big ole shout out, aka How I Totally Ripped Off Your Cool Donation Idea. Thanks again!
Liz says
December 23, 2008 at 2:39 pmCheap Thai is my debt downfall. I simply haven’t found the discipline to resist the temptation of yellow curry and noodles and garlicky chicken coming to my door. I have the utmost respect for you and your backbone.
Maria says
December 23, 2008 at 2:52 pmSo, bossy. My husband is home..and I’m in her snorting, and gagging (otherwise called laughter) and he’s wondering and so I read this post out loud. Then we both laughed. And my husband said “bossy is funny.” and I said “We agree! I love you!” and he said “I love you too!!” and well, bossy, you brought that love out in us….bossy brings couples together.
other Liz (or... gah! how many of us are there?) says
December 23, 2008 at 3:38 pmMy wallet would be happier if I could make Aloo Gobi.
hana says
December 23, 2008 at 3:57 pmWant pictures of Bossy whipping up a satay frenzy. Please?
JD says
December 23, 2008 at 4:08 pmWasn’t satay a sexy sultry singeress from the 80’s
steph says
December 23, 2008 at 5:51 pmYes [lowers head in shame], you are right. But I can’t. make. my. self. coooooooook. Tomorrow, I promise. Tonight is the best-aunt-in-the-world’s anniversary dinner. Yay!
Mr Farty says
December 23, 2008 at 7:32 pmMr Farty is proud of BOSSY.
And the next best thing to eating out is eating at your family’s place. When your daughter prepares Xmas dinner. For the first time. Yikes!
Emily says
December 23, 2008 at 8:03 pmYou showed a LOT of willpower! Especially after probably being exhausted schlepping to the city and back – the last thing you wanted to do was go to the store and cook dinner.
WTG! You did much better than I would have…
Liz C says
December 23, 2008 at 8:09 pm(Hey, look! Another Liz! Where were you all when I was growing up in Indiana in the 60’s?)
Oh Bossy, I am so shamed. We just got in so much trouble over one little splurge. We took the train out of town last Friday to stay in a nice hotel for two nights to celebrate my 49th birthday. Well, a big snowstorm hit, so we ended up with one more night in the nice (read: $150/night) hotel, plus the trains were all canceled for days and we had to pay $300 for one way plane tickets home. Plus of course another days worth of (expensive) meals.
We had set aside enough for a short weekend and ended up with an additional $600 in debt!
I am so very sad and so very broke now.
Catherine McP says
December 23, 2008 at 9:10 pmIf I can learn from a cookbook to make Thai, and it actually tastes BETTER, then anyone can! I am no gourmet cook, I am a switchboard operator, enough said.
My husband also says “dungarees” I say to him ” whadya from 1889 Paw”? haha.
Jenn @ Juggling Life says
December 24, 2008 at 1:29 amI know that have to have a treat feeling–and we eat out rarely–even cheap x 6 is expensive.
MamaMo says
December 24, 2008 at 1:53 amWay to go Bossy!! We splurge, and budget in eating-out once a month, so I’m very careful about how I use (perfect for occasions like yours). Food is not only cheaper, but usually way tastier at home too! When you EXPECT to cook every night, it ends up being alot less troublesome.
Jen says
December 25, 2008 at 10:49 amWow, Boss. Months without dining out. I’m super impressed. Like, for real.
Alissa says
January 4, 2009 at 6:15 pmWhew!! That was close!! Good work, by the way. I am torn on this issue. On the one hand, food prepared by others is ex. pen. sive. On the other hand, paying for someone to prepare, serve, and clean up a meal for my brood feeds the local economy, as well as the brood, and keeps the wheels of modern social living turning. Small businesses are having their own rather frightening poverty party too and once in a while, its nice to frequent their establishments and put some cash into the local mix.
Good work on cooking your own satay while hungry, though. That is a good skill to master!