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i am bossy

Merry Happy Dear Readers.

‘Twas the day before Christmas at the Casa de Blog
All the family was hyper, including the dog.

hyper-dog

The stockings were hung on the staircase so steep
Because they don’t have a mantel,
Or a center hall or a mudroom or a pantry,
In their brick Cape so cheap.

stockings

While her college son worked and her daughter baked sweets
Bossy stirred box-shaped veggies for her Broccoli Deceit.

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While visions of Cabernet danced in her head,
Bossy laid out the snacks for their Christmas Eve spread.

christmas-eve-snacks2

When out on the wetland arose cursing so dire,
On the spot where the husband chopped wood for the fire,
“Why so glum, sugarplum, are the logs all too wet?
From a week filled with rain—and it’s not quite done yet?”

woodpile-gloves

He continued to hack while she returned to her chores,
Such as tossing foul throw quilts behind locked closet doors.
More rapid than eagles Bossy dusted in vain,
And swept hair under chair legs from her enormous Great Dane.

As dry heaves that before food poisoning fly,
Or blog ranking drops like a brick from the sky,
So Bossy did tally things from the year past,
Such wealth and success — Hey kid, not so fast!

While it’s true Bossy’s rich in great family and friends,
Her funds are as leaky as a pair of Depends.
See, there’s not that much income from blogging full time,
Especially when that blog puts her bitching to rhyme.

Still, Bossy is proud of her little Dot Commie
That stormed the blog world like an ether tsunami,
Because through all this writing, Bossy’s met such great peeps,
Gays, moms, Mormons, ranchers—they’re The Harvest she reaps.

So, with a twinkle in her eye, and a twist of this post,
Happy Holidays to all and to those you love most.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  8. Awwww!
    How long did that take? Very cute and very bossy-like!

    merry christmas to all of you, have a great time tonight!
    xoxo
    from the beach!
    Lisa
    coastal nest

    Reply

  28. And I’m glad I met you too!
    Because I can’t think of anyone else who would
    (a) whine in a parody of night before Xmas
    (b) rhyme friends and Depends and have it make sense
    (c) reveal herself thusly and draw people into this funny little bossy community
    Umm, am I getting the impression that Christmas is tomorrow?? Are you sure?

    Reply

  29. The very same to you and yours, Bossy — especially the Two Goofs…and the Great Dog…and your handsome husband…and of course to gorgeous, generous, entirely fabulous you!

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  30. I promised myself the computer would not be on today of all days – but I just had to see what the Bossy clan was up to. You didn’t let me down – the poem was great. (And as always, the food looks fab – now I can’t get that warm crabmeat dip out of my head and I’m pretty sure you’re happy the cleanse is over….)

    Merry merry Everything to you too, Bossy, and to your family. Thanks for making the Web a friendlier place.

    Reply

  43. Oh Bossy – you simply rule and you have brought this tired mom of three many a smile in the short time I have visited your fresh artistic perspective on this journey of life. Blog on and on Bossy, and someday mountains of cash will come a ‘tumbling in….I am certain.

    Merry merry Christmas!

    Reply

  52. Have a very Bossy Christmas!
    I wish I was coming to your caroling party for those yummy snacks! But I will be home with my own little bossies as our huge Northwest snow slowly melts!

    Reply

  53. I covet the jar of olives! Now I know what I should have put on Bossy’s yesterday Ten Word Tuesday comment…Santa-hey, Santa–swing by the olive store and pitch it down my chimney, you hear?

    Merry Christmas, ya’ll!

    Reply

  55. I think nobody is ever “merry” any other time of the year.
    I want to be merrier, year round.

    Merry next year to all y’all. Non-Xmas-y David especially!

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  57. Have the VERY best Xmas with all the family cherish the time together even if the logs are wet ya can always get out the Fireplace DVD Make Merry and all that fun stuff

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  61. …This was top-notch Bossy! Great job! :oD

    …Here to wish you and yours and very Merry Christmas filled with love and laughter!

    …Peace & blessings… ;o)

    Reply

  64. I thank Bossy from the bottom of my heart for her comic genius, her wit, and her incredible sense of humanity. Can you have a sense of humanity? I don’t know. I think I was trying to say sense of humor, but humanity forced its way into the sentence and I was helpless to stop it.

    Merry Christmas to Bossy, Bossy’s Family, Bossy’s Friends and Bossy’s Parents, who obviously contributed to all that Bossy is.

    And Bossy’s Dog. Who is truly The Boss.

    Reply

  90. Is it lame to comment on posts so LATE???

    Loved your blog all the year through,
    I look forward to next year to see what you do!

    Reply

  91. Clever Bossy!!! Beautifully done… and I have no idea how you can make a living out of blogging. I have resigned myself to having my little corner of cyberspace as a pastime rather than paytime! It’s more fun that way!!!!

    Hugs and Happy Noo Year to y’all!
    (mixed up as many American accents as possible in that last sentence!)
    🙂
    BB

    Reply

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