Bossy’s Christmas Tree Ornaments.
Combined, the ornaments on Bossy’s tree are probably worth $7. But — and who saw this coming — what they lack in refinement they make up for in sentimental value.
It may help you to understand that the things hanging on Bossy’s tree are only ornaments in the academic sense. Let’s take a tour, shall we?
You are looking at an origami star created by Bossy’s friend Martha. They are especially pretty when jammed up against the hot pink bulb. The hot pink bulb that rests on the dry ignitable balsam needles.
Speaking of paper, Bossy’s tree is filled with the Ghosts of Christmas Cards Past. For instance:
This card was from Bossy’s friend Ronny. Every year he and his extended family would send out these group shots to an impressive mailing list, where impressive equals Yoko Ono was on their mailing list. And Bossy.
Next up we have an ancient Bossy family christmas card featuring Bossy’s son, alongside a mass card for Bossy’s best friend Johnny, who died several years ago from cancer. Bossy doesn’t like to be maudlin on Christmas, but she always hangs Johnny on her tree because Johnny was a real fan of Christmas, where fan equals The Man Bought Invisible Tape By The Gross:
And speaking of the deceased, Bossy has another habit she picked up from her parents, who, during the Vietnam War, scribbled the names of deceased Vietnam soldiers on all of their Christmas balls.
When a relative or friend or notable person dies, Bossy writes their name on a glossy ball and hangs it from a limb, which is kind of like including that person in the Christmas celebration. And it’s a chance for people like Miles Davis to mingle with Aunt Sadie:
But the deceased aren’t the only ones who get tree time. Bossy likes to remember notable events with Christmas Balls. For instance last year after her son’s acceptance into college, she scratched the word Columbia into ten silver glitter balls with a Sharpie. Except, don’t try this at home, because Bossy is still finding glitter under her fingernails:
Bossy’s tree also features a few classic ornaments, such as this Loon, which was the first ornament purchased for her baby son:
And classic like this ornament, which Bossy made 102 years ago when she was newly married and thought it would be cheaper to buy a dozen styrofoam balls, a can of gold spray paint, and a grocery bag of ribbon flowers and gemstones. News flash: it wasn’t:
What’s your favorite ornament?