This holiday tinsel.
And when Bossy says this tinsel, she doesn’t mean tinsel in general, or tinsel that looks like this, she means this tinsel, since, for over a decade, Bossy and her family have been casting these very strands on the tree and then — get this — collecting it into a bundle at the close of every holiday so it can be stored with the rest of the ornaments.
Growing up, Bossy’s family always put a little tinsel on their tree, but Bossy never knew she had an official position on tinsel until Bossy’s mom showed up with these very strands all those years ago. “I found a second-hand store selling old fashioned tinsel,” Bossy’s mom said. “It’s heavier than the cheap shit they make today,” she added, because Bossy’s mom works in profanity the way other men might work in oils, it’s her medium.
The heavier tinsel strands do what they’re supposed to do, they hang straight and shimmery from the tree’s boughs. Because Bossy is pretty sure real icicles don’t have a problem with static cling.
And now applause goes out to Bossy’s son, for being this year’s Tinsel Hand Model.
MariaV says
January 7, 2009 at 7:40 amThis one could be cross-categorized under poverty party, no?
The heavier tinsel is superior. If I remember where we found ours, I will let you know.
Betsey says
January 7, 2009 at 8:12 amI’ll see your tinsel and raise….
We’ve got some lovely tinsel made from actual tin. Seriously cool stuff, and, I suspect, easier to reuse than the floppy stuff. You can get it from Lee Valley http://www.leevalley.com/gifts/page.aspx?c=2&p=45140&cat=4,104,53211
dgm says
January 7, 2009 at 9:27 amOooh! I wonder if that’s the same kind of tinsel we used to play with. My brother and I would take a few strands, wad them up, and rub them on the TV screen (in the days before soft flat screens–i think any smooth, hard surface will do). this would smooth out the wad, and we’d do it on all sides, eventually turning the blob into a little cube. For no reason at all.
I don’t know how we initially discovered this, but I distinctly recall my disappointment the year we realized that tinsel ingredients had changed.
The Domestic Goddess says
January 7, 2009 at 9:40 amWE love tinsel but haven’t had it in YEARS, thanks to children and pets who like to eat it. PICA much?
kidsmom says
January 7, 2009 at 10:41 amNo tinsel here since we got dogs. I don’t like pulling it out of their butts.
The Woolverine says
January 7, 2009 at 10:51 amMy family has been using the same tinsel since I was 5. I’m 31. Grossest part? My mom has been known to “recycle” strands after a trip through the cat. So if my mom ever asks you to help put the tinsel on the tree, politely decline 🙂
Little Miss Sunshine State says
January 7, 2009 at 11:22 amI have also experienced the tinsel that has made a complete trip through the cat.
I think some of the older types had lead in them.
Bonnie says
January 7, 2009 at 11:50 amSo I take it that Stella doesn’t eat tinsel????
I have a few Great Dane questions. Our sweet elderly shepherd mix is slowing down and I am thinking GD puppy this spring sometime.
Where does Stella sleep? Does she have run of the house? My last two Great Danes lived inside – but my kitchens were bigger then and could accommodate a twin bed mattress.
Did you buy from a breeder?
Can you email any links or advice?
Thanks!!!
Bonnie in Houston
optimist@gmail.com
Kelly at The Glass Dragonfly says
January 7, 2009 at 11:53 amNo tinsel here. I don’t think I’d have the patience for it.
~annie says
January 7, 2009 at 12:13 pmAh, yes – the memories! I grew up with the really heavy, lead-containing tinsel. And very year it was the same exact batch of tinsel – carefully applied, even more carefully removed. I think Mom stopped short of actually counting the individual strands, though… We also had REAL (!) candles on the tree.
David says
January 7, 2009 at 12:52 pmYou save the tinsel but you buy new lights every year? Christmas continues to baffle me.
Reeb says
January 7, 2009 at 2:41 pmTinsel traveling through dogs and cats just made me cackle, and read this out loud to Husband.
Once we each wondered what had happened to the gobs of Halloween mini-snickers etc that mysteriously disappeared; over the next week or so our back lawn was graced with R2-Dturds as the metallic wrappings reappeared.
Sorry to go there. You all started it.
Maybe I’m not even sorry.
Thanks for the laugh.
Reeb says
January 7, 2009 at 2:43 pmDavid, the new lights are bought because the cheap Chinese ones are designed to burn out each summer. Mine are still up; for the next month in this dark state, I call them Winter Lights and they cheer me up.
Rachelle says
January 7, 2009 at 2:43 pmI like that old, wide tinsel, too, but we had to stop using the heavy-duty stuff after Christmas of 2006, when we found our cat running around the house with…
Well, I guess they were poop-beads strung on shiny gold tinsel, hanging from the cat’s bum. Like pearls, but a little less shiny and rare. Anyway, we couldn’t pull the tinsel, because it’s kind of sharp, so we just had to keep trimming the danglies and waiting for the rest of the tinsel to finish making it’s passage through the cat’s ass. Two fun days!
Now, if we use tinsel at all, we use the cheap stuff that breaks if you breathe on it too hard, because if one of the cats eats it, the poop comes out sparkly, but not also dangly.
janet says
January 7, 2009 at 3:05 pmBonnie #8
Your kitchenSSSSSS? How may kitchens did you have?
Reeb #12
R2-Dturds might just be the funniest thing I’ve ever heard! (And I odn’t like bathroom humor)
The Other Lisa says
January 7, 2009 at 3:11 pm“…as other men might work in oils.” Dude, is your mom a dude? A dude like Chandler’s mom on Friends, or as in “My Two Daddies”? JK – I crack myself up.
Sharon says
January 7, 2009 at 4:29 pmI hate tinsel like poison.
Stimey says
January 7, 2009 at 8:09 pmAre you sure this isn’t a daily poverty post?
Bonnie says
January 7, 2009 at 10:53 pmTwo Great Danes that lived in two separate kitchens – I was a single chick back then and moved around more. : -)
Tootsie Farklepants says
January 8, 2009 at 1:30 amTootsie always has applause for BOSSY’S Son.
caren says
January 8, 2009 at 1:50 amAnd a wonderful model he makes! When i was a kid, my sister and I used to throw a handful of tinsel on the tree – it made my mom so mad. Then we would have to take it off and do it “right”. We did that with the little cherry things that hung over the branches. Remember those?
Meredith says
January 9, 2009 at 4:40 pmGrowing up, we had neighbors who would dutifully remove the tinsel from their tree, IRON IT STRAIGHT and place it back in the box just the way it was arranged when they bought it in 1952.
Reading about the tinsel here and learning it had lead in it explains a lot about those neighbors.