Name: i am bossy.
Address: You know that house, on that street, with the wrap-around porch and open floor plan? The one with the citrus grove and rear outbuilding ceramic studio? Well, not there.
What kind of employment does Bossy desire? She was thinking about television producer. Or set designer, you know, for movies? Not designing the whole set, mind you, but maybe just arranging the little things that sit on bureaus. Or possibly dog trainer. To the stars.
Bossy sees you have included a weekly calendar so she can list her availability during the week. Let’s start with Monday! Monday isn’t good! Tuesdays and Wednesdays are also out, as are Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and most Sundays. But on those other Sundays, well! Bossy isn’t available either.
Let’s see. Bossy attended high school. And college! And then she quit college. And then she went to a different college. And then she quit college. And then she went to a different college. Then an even more different college. And then she died of old age.
Bossy has many, many, many skills relevant to Starbucks. Like her attentun to detial. And like Photoshopping heads on Asians. And stalking movie stars. How about reenacting the African Queen with Barbies?
What does Bossy like about coffee? What does Bossy like about coffee. Bossy likes how dark it is. Black, really. Except when it’s not black. When it’s not black it looks almost exactly like the color of cream poured into coffee! Because that’s what it is.
Describe a time Bossy provided excellent customer service in a recent position? This morning! Bossy’s daughter wanted a hardboiled egg for breakfast, and Bossy provided one! Except they were all gone! So she couldn’t! Because a certain college student eats things in the middle of the night and doesn’t warn his family before they get their heart set on things like hardboiled eggs. And so Bossy prepared scrambled eggs for her daughter, which she made especially delicious with burnt butter, which Bossy’s daughter hated! And so it worked out perfectly! Perfectly awful.
Why would Bossy like to work for Starbucks? Well, she really admires how Starbucks is not bankrupt. And because she’d sure love to prepare those whatchamacallits. Those Eggnog Peppermint Dolce Mocha Latte decaf half-frap Caramel Macchiato Vivannos. You don’t have that on the menu? Because you should.
Don’t forget to blah blah blah for Bossy for Best Humor Blog. You can vote once a day blah blah, Bossy is beyond sick to death of this. This is the blah blah fouie.