Bossy walked through her house
And she saw nothing odd
Just dog hair and dust
Collecting! Oh gahhhh-d.
She was deep in her thoughts
When, suddenly, she spied it.
She saw the pale grey ski coat
With nobody inside it.
She wasn’t scared. But yet, she stopped
Why would a coat be there?
Why would the coat of Bossy’s son
Be sitting in the chair?
And then it moved
That empty coat
It flipped the magazine
The coat was resting near the fire
It was really quite serene.
“Why are you here?”
Old Bossy said,
“And not in New York City?
Lord knows you’d warm dear Bossy’s son
Even though you’re not that pretty.”
Just then the pale grey ski coat
Threw down the Martha Stewart
It swished past Bossy in a huff
On its way to find support.
The coat, it snuggled with the Dane
In the cluttered family room
It seemed depressed, that pale grey coat
One pound of down-filled gloom.
“How ‘bout TV?” Bossy suggested
“You can watch your favorite show.
Barefoot Contessa is almost on!”
But the coat shook itself no.
“How ‘bout a romp on Bossy’s site?
Last post is mighty clever!”
But the pale grey coat slumped in its chair
Not cheery whatsoever.
Bossy thought fresh air would do it good
So she tossed the keys to her car
Forgetting the coat can’t drive a stick
So, alas, it didn’t go far.
“That’s OK,” Bossy said, “Remember the swing?
You spent many a day and a night there!”
But the allure was gone on that old plank of wood
Without a warm body to share.
So the coat, it propelled, up to the porch,
Grabbed a chair for a sun-drenched sit
But the scene was too quiet for a pale grey coat
With nobody inside it.
Bossy thought, “I do not fear this coat,
With nobody inside it. This coat, it doesn’t make me sad.”
She thought that, but she lied it.
Because Bossy couldn’t see this coat
Without thinking of her son
And the many years he had this on
While setting off toward fun.
“Bossy thinks she knows why you are blue,”
Bossy whispered to the coat.
“You miss your boy, and so do we,
We’re rocking the same boat.”
And then a strange thing happened.
Why, that coat began to laugh!
Of course it didn’t really,
But Bossy did on its behalf.
And then she put her arm around
That nylon stuffed with feathers
And said, “What if Bossy puts you on
Throughout this winter weather?”
Well, ski coat was so happy that
The pale began to shine
And it pounded on those pads with sticks
Like its boy did for drum line.
And that night it rested soundly
In the bed of Bossy’s son
‘Cause of course it’s not a pea coat
And its status was hard won.
Now Bossy and the coat meet daily
Behind the closet door
Where she’ll throw it over shoulders
So the two can bond some more.
corrie saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 9:57 am
That’s a nice warm hug from your son every time you wear that coat!!
P.S. Bossy has one hot babe look there!
The Great Getzby saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 10:07 am
You did it service, momma. yes you did.
Florida Liz saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 10:08 am
LOL.. nice job. The Sneetches is one of my favorite books. Yep it’s a mixed bag going into my college son’s room. Sometimes makes me happy to see his left over stuff there, sometimes sad that it’s just his ‘stuff’ and not him.
Unemployed Susan saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 10:18 am
Did you cleverly & sweetly adapt a fave story just for me? That was nice of you.
Debby saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 10:28 am
That was *awesome*! Cheering loudly. Esp. loved the part about the neighbor
carson saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 10:30 am
Um…it does make your butt look big.
Kimi saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 10:30 am
I just recently discovered that book and LOVE it! Thanks for putting a fun, personal twist on that story.
Birdie23 saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 10:36 am
I would curl up with the Dane also!! Major cuddle.
Lizzy saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 10:38 am
Yay, pale grey coat with Bossy inside it!
ashley saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 10:39 am
This is above and beyond for a Monday, Bossy. Thank you for a nice start to the week. Also Cheers to BD for the very artistic pics 🙂
PATTY saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 10:46 am
thank you for the smile i needed on this monday morning.
RuthWells saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 10:53 am
bossy's friend martha saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 11:23 am
me too, Ruth Wells…weep.
MariaV saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 11:33 am
A great start to the week.
I’m sad today. Will Stella cuddle me too?
Amanda saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 11:41 am
Do you know how beautiful you are? Good gahhhhd!
Camille saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 11:44 am
Oh my gosh, it must be That Time of the Month, because this made me so SAD! And SAPPY! Holy crap, I’m crying about your kid’s coat.
David saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 12:04 pm
My but you do get attached to things, don’t you.
You could also donate the coat to a coat drive, then some poor person can derive warmth and comfort from Bossy’s Son’s passage onto manlier outerwear.
Bonnie saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Bravo Bossy! Laughter and tears in the same post – Thanks!
kay saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Thanks, Bossy. That’s exactly what I would have done — if I had any talent.
Little Miss Sunshine State saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Bravo. We have a similar issue at our house, except when Cape Cod Kid went back to MA in January, he left a scruffy shower sponge behind. My guest bathroom still smells like Chocolate Axe.
Did I see Bossy’s son in the audience at SNL this weekend? Or his twin?
Momo Fali saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 1:03 pm
If Bossy doesn’t want to wear it, I’m pretty sure it would fit Stella.
Lisa saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 1:04 pm
You know, What I see here is a mama missing her son..but also a little bit of a poverty party…but mostly…you are a farking crazy chick with the funnies sense of humor.. I think I better go and get your book..and try it on.
coastalnest loves bossy!
Shelley saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Bossy, you’re trying to kill me. I laughed out loud, then I cried, then I laughed again. I think I need a nap.
Adorable Girlfriend saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Are those Christmas lights in the living room?
Liz C saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Oh Bossy, I feel your pain. The first year my daughter was at college was much, much harder than I ever expected. I knew she was going, but having her gone was a whole ‘nother thing.
She’s been out of the house for 8 years now. I still miss her.
lettergirl saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 1:13 pm
You are adorkable. That is all.
The Domestic Goddess saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Hey, my neighbors DID phone the mental institution when I took pics of my kid face down in the snow…
I loves me some pale grey coat.
Reeb saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Snow? No snow? I’m confused about continuity issues in your movie, but (a) enjoyed the thought of you boldly posing Grey Coat hither and thither, including with Neighbor watching, and (b) can not get over how good you look in your jeans.
Reeb saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Did that weeklong cleanse back last year make you feel slimmer and/or, well, cleaner?
Lisa saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 1:49 pm
What a great post! Loved the pictures!
Lo saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Oh so clever!! My fave
And then a strange thing happened.
Why, that coat began to laugh!
Of course it didn’t really,
But Bossy did on its behalf.
Domestic Goddess (in training) saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 1:59 pm
You are rocking the parka! I love it!
stella saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 2:01 pm
my what fancy comment NUMBERS you have!!!
bossy its good to see you 😉
Tricia saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Oh, my. That was sweet.
HAGERDASH saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Oh dear, that was . . .
Maggie Garcia saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 2:35 pm
I kept wanting to read ahead because I thought you were going to drive it up to Bossy’s Son at College.
Mini Van Bohemian saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Oh, Bossy dear…
Oh Bossy dear,
kate saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 2:59 pm
i think that maybe stella
should wear the coat
and take and umbrella
because’s she’s awfully skinny
and her own coat is this as hell-a.
kate saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 3:00 pm
thin! not this. frick!
The Redheaded Lefty saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 3:08 pm
That’s the sweetest thing ever. EVER.
Trini saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Okaaaaaay, so I don’t have kids or the book that inspired this post so I will just say that it was Awesomely Creepy and Hilariously Funny at the same time 😉
p/f saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 3:29 pm
That was really good. You definitely deserve a call or email from your son for that.
I totally choked up while I was reading it.
amberstar saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 3:50 pm
When my kids were growing up I was all like “There will be no empty nest syndrome here! I can’t wait for these little suckers to hit the road!” Well, when they did start to leave to go to college and move on with their lives…it was a whole other story. It was nearly as awful as the coat of your son sitting there waiting for him. It does get better and they do come back from time to time. But they are never little again. Cherish each childish moment.
Okie Sister saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Okay, that kind of made me sad.
Then I laughed because I was reminded of Chevy Chase in that movie where he was invisible.
Finally, I was overcome with an urge for Herr’s potato chips – either ketchup flavor or salt and peppa.
Dawn in Austin saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 5:38 pm
When my son left for boot camp, I would go smell various things in his room (not his shoes!!LOL). You made me miss him anew, and that was 7 years ago. Nice story.
guest saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 6:12 pm
How do you stay so thin??
karen l saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 6:31 pm
loved it – thanks for making me smile!
JennyM saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Aw, yay, pale grey coat!
Kristi saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Awww. Just awwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Knaj saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Bossy you rock my world. Your creativity amazes me. I love you. My dad used to read that Dr suess Story to us and scare the pants off us. Muah! You made my day!
mrs. g. saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 7:10 pm
It appears you miss your so as much as I miss my daughter!
Kelly saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 7:13 pm
I dunno Bossy… I begininng to worry… the pale grey coat may need a nice blue snuggie to love and keep it warm until the boy comes home again… hugz
anne marie in philly saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 7:24 pm
bossy knows how to rock a coat AND a beret!
Asthmagirl saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 7:31 pm
Carrie saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 8:28 pm
I’m glad my 7 year old is sitting next to me. We just read your version and laughed and laughed….seeing that the pale green pants is one of our favorite stories.
Emily saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 8:32 pm
It’s nice to know that Stella was catching up on her reading today. My doxie several months ago turned the TV to wrestling – I had no idea he was a fan!
Kay Bryan saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 8:53 pm
What a great post! I loved the story of your son’s coat, and what a beautiful ending it has. That coat looks just fine on you, by the way.
Really, really enjoyed the story and pictures.
Stuperb saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Love this post, and I’m sure your son does, too, even if he never admits to it.
what a cool, loving mom you are.
Maria saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 9:57 pm
I’m gonna cry….in stanza fashion of course…
Michelle saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 10:18 pm
The shot with the potato chips? The coat ACTUALLY looks comfortable. Belly pooched out and all.
Chesapeake Bay Woman saysFebruary 9, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Bossy’s Daughter has an eye for photography.
Bossy’s writing + Bossy’s Daughter’s photos = Sky’s the Limit.
Kim saysFebruary 10, 2009 at 12:04 am
I feel Bossy’s pain. My daughter wants to get an apartment near campus next year with some friends. Only problem is, she will live there all summer and not come home! Boo-hoo.
Victoria saysFebruary 10, 2009 at 1:06 am
Elsewhere saysFebruary 10, 2009 at 2:47 am
Best post in a very long time! I think it’s even better than de Barbie-movie-impersonations. I LOVE it!
ErinH saysFebruary 10, 2009 at 2:56 am
I had no idea that a coat could make me teary. Who knew?
jandondi saysFebruary 10, 2009 at 7:30 am
I was in awe at this one.
It felt so touched by that empty coat.
dgm saysFebruary 10, 2009 at 9:25 am
Bravo! Dr. Seuss’ pale green pants is one of my all-time favorites. You did it (and the pale grey coat) justice.
Cat saysFebruary 10, 2009 at 10:37 am
This was one of the funniest, sweetest things I’ve ever read, and you look great in those pictures. Bossy’s daughter is quite a photographer.
Surcie saysFebruary 10, 2009 at 11:07 am
“Clever” does not begin to describe Bossy.
BTW, I love how you’ve painted the insides of your book shelves.
POD saysFebruary 10, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Great story, great photos. I’m with the neighbor.
Reeb saysFebruary 10, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Damn you and your cheekbones.
(Plaintively changes subjects.) Are we going to get Ten-Word Tuesday this week? How do I know what day it is otherwise?
Lance saysFebruary 10, 2009 at 2:46 pm
I have the number of a great therapist……..
Seriously, that was funny and cute. I can tell I’m going to have serious empty nest syndrome too in about 7 years.
Lauren saysFebruary 10, 2009 at 3:31 pm
I found your link on paintandink’s blog. Glad I did. This is too funny.
clickmom saysFebruary 10, 2009 at 5:07 pm
I’ve got 2 more years before my oldest leaves the nest and I already wear his hand me downs when he’s at school. You’re killing me here! P.S. Loving the hat!
Mr Farty saysFebruary 10, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Stella looks totally freaked out by the empty coat, bless.
p.j. saysFebruary 10, 2009 at 5:58 pm
As much as I enjoy our home without the daily and overwhelming presence of my 19 yr. old (who shared a Uni Writing class with your owner of the pale gray parka last semester), your sweet and tender post brought tears to my eyes. Yes, I do miss my boy. Maybe I will go home and wear the high school soccer jacket that he left behind last month. I’ll bet it is forlorn as well.
Thanks and take care, p.j.
Christina saysFebruary 11, 2009 at 3:17 am
Clever, clever, clever.
You’ve got time on your hands like I do. I like the neighbor comment…very funny.
g saysFebruary 11, 2009 at 10:17 am
linda rae saysFebruary 11, 2009 at 12:26 pm
oh my gosh. Is bossy clever or what. Originality plus. Plus Plus.
reen saysFebruary 11, 2009 at 4:26 pm
This was so touching…and that swing photo truly slays me. Bossy looks fabulous in the poor forsaken coat.
foolery saysFebruary 11, 2009 at 8:55 pm
I’m glad I’m not at this stage yet, or I’d have to try to cram my butt into size 6X Garanimals and Dora the Explorer light-up shoes.
Inspired as usual, Miss Bossy — and happy recent birthday, I’m pretty sure?
MadnessBroken saysFebruary 11, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Bossy made me cry … then .. after the tears .. Madness looked at the next to last photo again and all she could hear was “dude! your mom!” .. yeahhhh.. Madness would TOTALLY do Bossy. Im just sayin.
Lesley saysFebruary 12, 2009 at 4:18 am
Oh lord. At first glance this is a funnnnny post. Hyyyysterical! With the coat like THIS and then with the coat LIKE that and HAHA look at the coat surfing the web!
But now I’m at the end of the post and I’m sitting here totally misty.
And this combination of funny plus misty is the PERFECT example of why I love your blog so very damn much.
Rebecca saysFebruary 12, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Please.. this isn’t funny it’s sad. It’s upsetting. I do not want to hear about the kids leaving and how I’m going to be just as sad as Bossy when it happens. I’ve told you to put a poignancy warning on these Bossy’s Son is Away at College gut wrenchers. Okay. Thank you.
chris saysFebruary 15, 2009 at 7:20 pm
bossy, that was beautiful! with one at law school in philly, and another doing doctorate work in london, while we languish in michigan; there are many brothers and sister of the plae gray coat in residence here!
Alpaca Farmgirl saysFebruary 17, 2009 at 10:23 am
I can’t believe this almost made me cry. A personless coat. Amazing post. Thanks.
Lisa Stone saysFebruary 22, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Ahhhh, the sisterhood of the traveling and empty coats…I love it Bossy. Thank you.