You are looking at Bossy’s library book. Beginning with stocks and soups and moving through creamed butter, Martha Stewart‘s Cooking School offers not just recipes but her expertise in methods and equipment. But it’s Monday, so let’s just skip ahead, shall we?
According to Martha Stewart, grinding is an important factor in the kitchen. You can turn to your butcher for your grinding needs, of course. But according to Martha, there is increased satisfaction when you do your own grinding and the outcome is juicier, although one has to be careful about improper handling, and Bossy is sorry but are we still talking about ground beef?
Similarly, Martha offers the following tips regarding the forming of hamburger patties: handle gently, and be careful not to press too hard, which can result in the loss of delicious juices, causing the meat to shrink.
Seriously. It’s what Martha said.
alwyn says
April 6, 2009 at 9:05 amYou know if her daughter and her daughter’s pal get a hold of this, it’s going to be a 30 minute schtick on “Whatever, Martha”!
kristin says
April 6, 2009 at 9:05 amAll innuendo aside, I have ground my own meat, with a hand grinder from the 1800s, and honestly? A total pain in the ass and REAL gross. If at all possible, get your butcher to do it. We can’t very well waltz into Safeway with our venison and ask the butcher to grind it, so we have to do our own, but the nasty stringy bits that clog the grinder and the fat squooshing out the holes and the clean-up? EW.
Grandma J says
April 6, 2009 at 9:19 amBetween grinding her own meat, then gently handling, patting, and forming it with her own hands, I’m starting to get a creepy feeling about Martha’s meat.
g says
April 6, 2009 at 10:08 amI don’t get the allure of grinding your own beef. I don’t get the allure of butchering it, either.
Let someone else do that for me.
L says
April 6, 2009 at 10:28 amI never liked Martha. She came across as being stuck up. A know it all.
The Domestic Goddess says
April 6, 2009 at 10:31 amHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Martha, Martha, Martha. You are one repressed being, methinks.
the cheap chick says
April 6, 2009 at 10:36 amI’m thinking it was all those months in lock-up. They can really get to you – not that I would know firsthand, of course.
Mel says
April 6, 2009 at 10:40 amNo mention of bumping in there? Either way, that whole binding bit sounds particularly kinky.
David says
April 6, 2009 at 10:53 amThere’s nothing wrong with pressing hard.
Lee of MWOB says
April 6, 2009 at 11:03 amOnly you Bossy. Only you. Oh and Martha. Only you and Martha. I would have never guessed it.
🙂
MariaV says
April 6, 2009 at 11:05 amI handle all meat with authority. 😉
Little Miss Sunshine State says
April 6, 2009 at 11:12 amKitchen Porn.
zelzee says
April 6, 2009 at 11:23 amWas that book in the “Adult Content” section?
and don’t you just hate it when the meat shrinks?
Momo Fali says
April 6, 2009 at 11:37 amMy, my. Martha’s mind is in the gutter.
Spruce Hill says
April 6, 2009 at 11:47 amhee hee! I love the visual!
Shelley says
April 6, 2009 at 12:00 pmIn my…um…experience, excessive handling of meat causes it to expand, not shrink. Maybe that’s just me.
joeinvegas says
April 6, 2009 at 12:08 pmSo, are you going to make your own pate now too? In the patented Martha Stewart brand pate grinder?
RockyAnn says
April 6, 2009 at 12:09 pmYeah,
Martha also had a recipe for making your own marshmallows. I mean… WHY?!
Ms. Cranky Pants says
April 6, 2009 at 12:39 pmWhat on earth happened to that woman as a child, is all I want to know
mj tam says
April 6, 2009 at 1:11 pmhahaha..What a great Monday read! Must twitter about this…lol
Baby Favorite says
April 6, 2009 at 1:16 pmWho needs The Joy of Sex when we’ve got Martha Stewart’s Cooking School?
Reeb says
April 6, 2009 at 1:21 pm#1-Alwyn, What’s “Whatever Martha”? Is that a real show or blog or something?
kate says
April 6, 2009 at 1:29 pmone of her editors secretly loathes her to let that get through.
Holly says
April 6, 2009 at 1:35 pmI think Martha has too much “time” on her hands!!
Surcie says
April 6, 2009 at 1:46 pmWhat timing! Surcie needs some good dinner recipes and has been thinking about purchasing this cookbook or “How to Cook Everything” by Mark Bittman. She’d love to know if Bossy has a favorite cookbook!
Maria says
April 6, 2009 at 1:51 pmOne understands suddenly why Martha is not a vegan. How about a book “From the Kitchen to the Bedroom….”
Elle says
April 6, 2009 at 3:17 pmToo funny!
Thanks for stopping by my blog & leaving me that comment – that is exactly what I needed to hear. Gracias!!
Loving your blog,too – I’ll be back!
Amber Star says
April 6, 2009 at 3:59 pmOh Lord…I got the Homekeeping book for Christmas, but haven’t had the nerve to open it yet. I guess it is time to get it out
Eric Hegwer says
April 6, 2009 at 4:58 pmI just can’t see Martha grinding to Flo Rida
Manic Mommy says
April 6, 2009 at 4:59 pmI’ve always suspected that one touch from Martha would make most meat to shrink.
Andrea's Sweet Life says
April 6, 2009 at 5:22 pmLast time I used the meat grinder, this white gooey stuff ended up all over the place, and DAMN, it’s a bitch to clean.
Stacey Ball says
April 6, 2009 at 5:42 pmYeah, and I’m sure Martha’s butler Pierre just loves the fact that she only eats fresh ground meat from home.
Meg says
April 6, 2009 at 5:54 pmMartha is a naughty naughty lady.
Meg at the Members Lounge says
April 6, 2009 at 6:07 pmGood grief! When Martha isn’t grinding her own meat, she is sharpening her garden tools with sand and motor oil and making her own floral paperweights under vintage glass. And that should all makes us feel sane!
JennC says
April 6, 2009 at 6:52 pmI love it when you talk dirty, BOSSY.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
April 6, 2009 at 6:54 pmThat Martha. She’s a super freak, super freak, she’s super freakaaaay. Yow.
Who would have guessed.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
April 6, 2009 at 7:06 pmWait a second, the plot thickens. She wrote a book called Martha Stewart’s Hooking School?
Cheri @ Blog This Mom! says
April 6, 2009 at 7:51 pmI’d have been by to read this post sooner if I’d know we were talking about how to make quick work of certain jobs? That’s what we’re talking about, right?
MetroDad says
April 6, 2009 at 8:14 pmOnly because I love you, Bossy, and because I know you would appreciate this…
http://digg.com/d1nmSv
Yes, even Martha Stewart queefs!
Jason says
April 6, 2009 at 8:34 pmI don’t get it.
Okay, I do. And I love it.
sugarpie says
April 6, 2009 at 10:22 pmBossy, I had no idea that “Bossy’s friend Martha” was THAT Martha! Is there anyone Bossy doesn’t know?
SD's Husband says
April 6, 2009 at 10:56 pmI didn’t even get past the title of this post and I had to wipe off the drink I coughed onto my screen. Now I have mental pictures. Thanks.
Janet says
April 6, 2009 at 11:08 pmMartha and Bossy are both naughty ladies!
The Chocolate Lady says
April 6, 2009 at 11:28 pmOh Martha!
and speaking of Martha….you know I have my new baking blog, and now….get ready for this, hold on to your hat…..I have a video on YouTube, put out by Dove Chocolate Discoveries. I know, and you met me once 🙂
not to mention, Im going to be uploading some picks of MY version of Bakerella’s cake pops, my version as in, cake pops that looked like they were hit by a truck, or forgot to go to their botox appointment.
Raz says
April 7, 2009 at 4:39 amIs it wrong that the thing that most entices me about that book is the font that it is written in?
I think I need to get a life.
foolery says
April 7, 2009 at 12:52 pmGood lord, is that a cross section of something in her hand?
Auds at Barking Mad says
April 7, 2009 at 6:11 pmWho knew that Martha was the queen of innuendo?
Jen says
April 8, 2009 at 4:02 amLaughing my ass off.
Seriously, you are one funny lady. I am a terrible lurker but I do love your site, it gives me a laugh a day. This one caused me to laugh out loud – my kids think I am crazy!
Thank you for starting my day with a smile.
jesbodimer says
April 9, 2009 at 5:57 pmhilarious. HAH.