Bossy has written before about her obsession with chef and cookbook author Ina Garten, and Ina Garten’s love for her husband Jeffrey, who was the Undersecretary of Commerce for International Trade, but that doesn’t stop Ina from doubting his ability to purchase a bottle of wine without mistaking it for bourbon.
But in actuality Bossy watches Ina for her gays.
Ina Garten has many gays and they decorate her tables and arrange her flowers, but no gay can compare to Ina’s gay T.R., otherwise known as model/actor/but mostly model T.R. Pescod.
In this episode of the Barefoot Contessa, T.R. has just purchased an old fishing shack on the water off of East Hampton, New York, and T.R. has invited Ina for dinner on his dick dock.
Here’s the deal the two struck: T.R. will catch the fish and Ina will prepare it. And prepare other stuff too. And pack it all up on ice and load all the crap into her trunk and carry heavy containers into his house and lord, Ina has to work hard for her friends.
First on the menu, Ina prepares a Summer Fruit Crostata, and here is her recipe: butter:
Flour blah blah blah ice water and now it’s time for T.R. and the first glimpse of his dick dock:
Next Ina prepares the tarter sauce that will accompany the fish T.R. catches, and here is her recipe: mayonnaise.
Speaking of T.R., next Ina adds the ingredient that gives her tartar sauce its bite:
Meanwhile T.R. tries to have his way with a very long rod:
Then we go back to Ina’s house where — sister mercy — she’s got her fingers in the pickle jar again:
And then it’s time for an Ocean Spray commercial:
After the commercial break, it’s time for Ina to make the crumble topping for her Summer Fruit Crostata, and here is the recipe: butter:
Then Ina prepares the batter she will later use to fry the fish. Meanwhile back at T.R.’s, he’s having no luck catching that night’s dinner:
And so T.R. goes to his local fishmonger and buys the fish fillets:
Then Ina prepares the chips to complete the menu of fish and chips, and here is that recipe: salt.
Then Ina packs up all of her prepared food in order to take it to T.R.’s fishing shack. But first, it’s time for a few more commercials:
When the commercial break is over, we find Ina yoo-hooing for T.R. as she balances her heavy tray of pre-seasoned bribes:
And then Ina asks to see T.R.’s fish:
Then Ina preheats T.R.’s oven to 400 degress in order to prepare a sheet pan of roasted rosemary dicks:
And then Ina and T.R. grab a couple of glasses of Chef’s Little Helper:
And finally what we’ve all been waiting for: Ina dips T.R.’s big fish in her milky batter.
There are no leaves on the trees. Early spring breeze off COLD ocean water = FREEZING dock sitting!
Sadly, Bossy no…no black flies out in the Hamptons. There are ticks that carry Lyme disease, expensive fish sacks, and monsterous SUVs. And maybe a few dicks. I mean docks.
oops, mispelled monsterous….
Ina always gives me the warm fuzzies.
Butter, Mayonnaise, Salt, and Chef’s little helper. Check, check, check, and check! All the basic food groups are represented! Good on ya, Ina!!
There’s nothing like a big chunk of scrod on a dock in the morning. Such an idyllic life.
Here’s the down side… she has hot foodie pickle, phallic french fry non-sex with TR and goes home to the real thing with…. er…. Jeffrey. Sad.
what a delightful episode,boss, too toooo funny.
oh, and I’m seeing a whole new movement for herbs…(rosemary)
I can spot a trend….
Haha Bossy!
Ina and Jeffery hosted a benefit cocktail party this past weekend at their home, the weather has been awful, but there are always people willing to attend benefit parties where Cocktails are served.
Watch for it on an upcoming episode!
jp
If there’s one thing I love more than Barefoot Contessa, it’s Barefoot Contessa through Bossy’s eyes… which seem especially astute post-cleanse.
well said, blog princess #11
Bossy, perhaps it was the cold water that made T.R.’s rod so…ineffective?
Thanks for making me laugh so hard this morning that I spit out my tea.
Sigh. I know it makes me a bad person, but I find Ina to be a pretentious blowhard. Her self-satisfied face makes me want to through things at the TV screen.
But I love Bossy’s naughty recap!
Hilarious! I wish you lived next door to me! Seriously, you should try Ina’s Chinese Chicken Salad http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/chinese-chicken-salad-recipe/index.html . It’s easy but pretty time-consuming and makes a $#@%-load of chicken salad that is beautiful and out of this world good. I only make it once a year (I use less salt, because I think the original is too salty and I have cheated and just cooked up a bunch of frozen chicken breasts with a little oil and garlic in a skillet which makes this SO much easier) Anyhooo…you will get marriage proposals from the men and the ladies when you make this.
What a fabulous recap! I laughed so hard my morning coffee accidentally became a neti pot irrigation…..
I think Bossy needs some more gay freinds for herself. Hopefully some with big docks.
Does anyone think T.R. resembles Bossy’s Husband????
How bad can that be?
As much as I adore Ina, I’ll take my Barefoot Contessa with the quadruple bipass on the side.
I wonder how much stock she owns in Lipitor (Pfizer). Because shes keeping their heart beating.
Joeinvegas: I’ll be docking at Bossy’s in July, along with VUBOQ. The gay quotient should be off the charts.
Ina, is the woman of my dreams. No kidding, I have said for years, she is the one woman I would leave my husband for. I could just lounge in her garden while she cooks for me in those sexy denim shirts. I love Ina.
Perfection.
That is one damn hot gay. Would have loved to see THAT casting call.
I wonder what would havoc would have been wreaked if TR had accidentally CAUGHT a fish. Cause then somebody would have had to clean it. Fish guts on Barefoot Contessa? Not that I watch it, but judging from the Bossy version, I don’t think so.
Everything’s better with Chef’s Little Helper!
Surcie loves Ina. And her freckles. And her house. And her friends.
Good Lord TR is smokin’ hot! I wasn’t paying attention to the rest of the post…I just zoomed in on TR. Big dock indeed!
That list of ingredients sound suspiciously like Ina wanted to marinate T.R. in them….
I’m not really a foodie but I can always appreciate a man who can handle his rod.
I love his little white belt around his little waist. I want to feed him too.
OMG I TOTALLY used to have those glasses. They are Martha Stewart. Excellent product placement T.R. …P.S. Who is he? (besides sexy…)
I really like Ina. However, I had no idea she was so funny!!!
You are a crazy and that’a why I like you. I’ll bet Ina would get a few chuckles from this post. Send it to her.
i am totally hooked on ina, not only because of your blog recaps, but because the bf watches the show. and all this time, i never realized his name was T.R…i thought it was french and “tiar”, or however you would spell the french version of that.
and the bf and i both agreed, T.R. seems like one of those pretentious, player gays. the last time he was on and we saw the show, he didn’t leave enough time to bake the meringue and ran to the store to buy ’em. cheater, T.R.
in order of favorites i am now hooked on: ina. giada. rachael. (i just want giada to come to my house and talk in that soft spoken voice of hers and say italian words like bruschetta.)
thanks for the GREAT recap. love it.
Who do we need to write to get an explanation for THAT WHITE BELT that T.R. is wearing. He is so glam in his fish shack it makes me woozy and Ina with her ABSOLUTE ease regardless of her hand in pickle jars. They are a dream couple. Thank you for the absolute perfect recap and thank you for the brilliant observation about that revolting cranberry commercial.
Dick dock. Dick dock. It’s time for TR to take a trip to Virginia to cast his rod and reel.
My husband has a totally weird obsession with her.
Never looked at Ina in this light and doubtful I’ll ever be able to look at her with a straightface after this post. You’re a scream, Bossy!
you had me at butt-a, baby..
I’m with cheap chick. Can’t stand Ina, tho I love her food.
Isn’t T.R. the one that was doing that creepy tongue-slurping thing in the last recap? I can’t decide if I’m happy or disappointed that he didn’t do it this time.
I know I miss the point — ALL of them — but I can’t help focusing on the wrong stuff. T.R. has a gold band on his left ring finger. Who’s his dude? WHERE’s his dude? Doesn’t that kill his availability factor? It’s possible I won’t sleep tonight.
I LOVE BC too! And saw that episode. Now I can’t wait for the re-run! You are one funny chick!
I watched BC yesterday, and I was all incredulous because she was making a feast for a barn warming.
A barn warming! Who has a barn warming? Oh yes, people with shitloads of cash who restore barns and then have Ina make delicious sandwiches in celebration.
This shack is in July’s Coastal Living and it is awesome! T.R. is mentioned but only pics of him from afar with a hat on, tho you will see his partner!
Ina needs to quit cooking and go on a diet.
F*ck this heartless b*tch and her boring-ass friends.
The first time I saw him on Contessa and Ina call him TR, I started calling him Tiara….
Too funny!
Lordy, I just read this post and laughed more than I have in ages! Agree TR is a hot hottie. Would love to help him handle that big rod of his.
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