Once upon a time, Bossy went to a free concert at noon on a Friday. In fact she went to quite a few free concerts at noon on a Friday — until Bossy and her friend Martha drank all the wine in the world and sopped up the last of the universe’s condiments with their bar fries, The End.
And so it happened on one of these free concerts at noon on a Friday, a concert featuring the band Chairlift, a boy fell asleep in his solo:
But that’s OK if the boy fell asleep in his solo, because luckily there was also a girl in the band:
Just when Bossy thought all was lost and she’d have to end her bedtime story due to a breakout of sleeping, Bossy spied these on the boy:
And just when Bossy thought she’d have to reduce her post to typing snarky things like, Hide the children’s eyes, jazz shoes are back, Bossy spied these, right behind the jazz shoes:
This super cute boot was on the foot of Cinderella the sleeping keyboard girl who was no longer sleeping but rather dancing around the snoozing guitar boy who was maybe still sleeping:
Before Bossy could say Why isn’t there more Bloody Mary in a Bloody Mary, the concert was over. Bossy considered sticking around for the Chairlift meet and greet just so she could slip the boots her phone number, but Bossy and her friend Martha had a pressing appointment with two train station barstools.
And so Bossy never did find out anything about the tall dark and handsome boots, and Bossy lived to a ripe old age never knowing their love, experiencing their warmth, or even knowing their name.
The End. For real.
MariaV says
July 15, 2009 at 7:52 amI’m confident that someone from Bossy’s council will know the name of Bossy’s love.
The Great Getzby says
July 15, 2009 at 8:10 amAlmost poetically sad & beautiful …
Jules says
July 15, 2009 at 8:20 amThey look like Doc Martens
Rosie says
July 15, 2009 at 8:22 amI ownw those boots. They make me feel young and awesome. Also, alternatively sleepy and dancey.
Suzanne says
July 15, 2009 at 8:24 amWHen Bossy finds out the who, what, when and where (esp the Where), please tell Suzanne. She wants them bad.
vuboq says
July 15, 2009 at 8:26 amvuboq loves a good love story … especially when it involves a pair of supercute shooz.
Barb - WillThink4Wine says
July 15, 2009 at 8:57 amI have never understood anyone’s love of shoes, as I can not stand to wear them. I hate every moment I must suffer in them. The End.
emery jo says
July 15, 2009 at 9:04 amoh bossy, don’t you know? Those boots are all the rage now-a-days. Which means you can find them for hundreds of dollars in every high-end store known to man, OR you could just walk into any local thrift store and buy them for about 3 dollars. It seems the latest fashion trend is to take things you can find at a thrift store and put expensive price tags on them. Grr.
Martie says
July 15, 2009 at 9:27 amI think my brother has a pair, in the back of his closet. He got his from the US Army.
carson says
July 15, 2009 at 9:28 amOk, so I know I’m old and I don’t get out much anymore but could somebody please explain why a Mac Book is part of this band? Is it the pseudo drummer or something?
Grandma J says
July 15, 2009 at 10:07 amGrandma J should send bossy all my boots because her feet rebel at the sight of anything that stifles them.
Half Assed Kitchen says
July 15, 2009 at 10:13 amCarson,
Mac Books are integral for Electronica. Integral!
ScottsdaleGirl says
July 15, 2009 at 10:25 amI wonder how long the doctor said she had to wear those boots. Poor thing.
Reeb says
July 15, 2009 at 10:35 amI remember being young and cool. And wearing whatever. My favorite boots were straight from the feed store, like my (def non-farmer) dad’s farmer-gardening shoes. Worn with skirts like Cinderella. You’re making me nostalgic for being young and cool. Now I aspire to be old and quirky. Or odd. Not doing so badly, I hope. The End.
Lizzy says
July 15, 2009 at 10:41 amBoots love: a tale as old as time.
*sniff*
The Subtle Rudder says
July 15, 2009 at 10:52 amAll my most passionate crushes are on boots. Boys, sure, they’re fine and all. But only boots make you feel like striding. Boots boost your asskicker quotient and trigger that voice inside that says, “I’m hot, I’m dangerous, I’m nationwide.”
L says
July 15, 2009 at 10:55 amI agree with #7. As soon as I walk in the door my shoe’s get taken off.
Rainia says
July 15, 2009 at 11:12 amYou know, I’m starting to think Bossy needs an intervention- or a new liver and maybe a job…. Where do you get all the time to do all the stuff you blog ?
Does everyone in the NE drink this much ? If so maybe that is the reason for reelecting the Kennedys and the others.
I challange you to write for 2 weeks without bringing alcohol into it ? Can it be done ?
dexter says
July 15, 2009 at 11:35 ami wore black jazz shoes on stage. They were comfortable…and oh so cool
Caroline says
July 15, 2009 at 11:40 amI had those boots in high school. They were immitation Doc Marten’s. I loved those boots. I now, thanks to this post, miss those boots. And, my friend Amber had five million pairs of jazz shoes in a bunch iof different colors. I was so jealous.
Stacey Ball says
July 15, 2009 at 11:45 amPerhaps go on Ebay and google “Shitkickers.”
reen says
July 15, 2009 at 12:08 pmI have an over-the calf version of those boots that I used to wear with skirts much like Cinderella there. Oh, lord, and back in the day blue suede jazz shoes too. We really need to legislate those away.
L says
July 15, 2009 at 12:09 pmI like Bossy just the way she is. She makes my day.
Liz says
July 15, 2009 at 12:14 pmBossy, I’m jealous of all the fun things you do… please keep doing them so I can live vicariously through you while I sit my computer in my office each day
I don’t know about the boots, but I do have a passionate lifelong love for good Bloody Marys!
Cactus Petunia says
July 15, 2009 at 1:02 pmBoots like that can only really be worn successfully by young, hip, willowy girls or tall, gorgeous, long-legged blondes like Bossy…they make everyone else look like a troll under a bridge.
Go for it, Bossy! The rest of us can live vicariously through you!
kate says
July 15, 2009 at 1:27 pmonce upon a time, in san diego, i was so scared for a moment that BOSSY was in love with the white jazz shoes. then i would’ve had to fall out of love with BOSSY. and that? would be tragic. happily, BOSSY was in love with the very cute boots in the background and i can continue to be in love with BOSSY. and live happily ever after coveting her curls. and her loga yants. the end.
Little Miss Sunshine State says
July 15, 2009 at 1:48 pmWhen I moved away from cold and icy New England I vowed, with God and my husband as witness, “I shall never wear boots again”.
Dee says
July 15, 2009 at 1:49 pmBossy must be drunk if she likes those old basic training boots.
Seriously, go to a military supply store, they are dirt cheap (probably 3 bucks) and VERY uncomfortable which is why the keyboardist must have momentarily collapsed on the keyboard- foot pain !
Bossy, maybe you should take the pp challange or we might have to start calling you boozy.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
July 15, 2009 at 2:11 pmDid Bossy say she’s in love with Bootsie Collins, heart and sole?
Or did Bossy *pull* a Bootsie Collins, which according to the Urban Dictionary means she drank so much she might have jumped in a pool with her clothes on? (Really, check out the definition at urbandictionary.com)
No matter. I’ll take a Bloody Mary please, hold the boots.
Wendy says
July 15, 2009 at 2:40 pmYou know, the scarey thing is that I don’t think commenter #18 was kidding or trying to be funny or anything!! Whoa, easy on Bossy, there!
Jill says
July 15, 2009 at 2:54 pmPlease, please do not accept the challenge to write for 2 wks. without bringing alcohol into it. I am not interested in alcohol-free Bossy. (Unless she wants to be alcohol-free, of course).
Dee says
July 15, 2009 at 3:12 pmJill, that sounds very sad in itself…
Momish says
July 15, 2009 at 4:05 pmI’m wondering if those boots come in red. Cabernet red. If so, must have.
KM says
July 15, 2009 at 4:27 pmMomish, there used to be oxblood Docs. Remember those? I had them, I felt like an asskicker:)
Meg at the Members Lounge says
July 15, 2009 at 7:39 pmRainia, this is Bossy’s Council. Not the Sobriety for the Pious Council.
crinoidgirl says
July 15, 2009 at 7:43 pm@18, I challenge you to post and spell correctly.
JK says
July 15, 2009 at 9:11 pmDear # 18,
And by “Dear” I actually mean: “Hey Dumba$$.”
Anyhoo, Dear # 18, get a life! And some class! AND how ’bout an education in geography, “dear.” For your information, NE (or New England as the rest of world calls it ) does not encompass PA (or as it is commonly known,Pennsylvania). Get thee to a library and check out the Atlas…stat!
Sincerely,
JK
PS Didn’t your parents tell you that if you didn’t have anything nice to say to NOT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL? Well, consider yourself informed.
PPS BOSSY, Keep on keepin’ on, sista. Ignore the negative comment.
Betsy says
July 15, 2009 at 9:22 pmMe thinks the negative commenters must have a wee problem with the sauce themselves. That’s usually the way it is.
Rainia says
July 15, 2009 at 9:41 pmHee hee hee….
martha says
July 15, 2009 at 9:55 pmShe probably has a problem with her husbands drinking.
I love those boots too, reminded me of my old days at the clubs pogoing to the Stooges, Ramones and the Clash
L says
July 15, 2009 at 10:07 pmIt seems that #18 was just writing what she felt. Next time stop yourself.
Deb says
July 15, 2009 at 11:18 pmUnrequited love, quelle tragique.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
July 15, 2009 at 11:31 pmIf Bossy walks to a major highway/interstate tomorrow morning and sticks her thumb out, she might be able to catch a ride south with Auds at iambarkingmad who is driving from Maine on her way to this little blog gathering going on here in Virginia. Foolery is coming too, as is the one and only Grandma J. (And many others, including one from Canada.)
If Bossy does hitch a ride, and I really hope she does, can she remember to shove Kevin Bacon in the trunk and bring him along too? I promise to be gentle with him, at least for a minute.
Michele says
July 15, 2009 at 11:31 pmWay too too funny!
Mack says
July 16, 2009 at 12:06 amIt hardly seems that bossy has an alcohol problem because she enjoys a few drinks a week or even a drink or two a day. Like most non-drunk women, it probably only takes a drink or two for Bossy to get tipsy. I give Bossy props for writing about her train station drinking, her dinner party drinking, her Fourth of July drinking, etc. The haters on Bossy’s site are probably closet drinkers who only drink alone while reading Bossy’s site and wishing they had friends like Martha so they wouldn’t have to drink alone. And, Raina — did you know Bossy does not drink caffeine. How addicted to coffee are you?
Bossy – me thinks the boots are of the army or goth variety, to be found around Clark and Belmont in Chicago, for example. Maybe even a variation on the old Doc Martens.
Ungirdled says
July 16, 2009 at 8:43 amI had a pair of these back in the day. Guess that makes us sole sisters. (BTW, No you did-int call those boots shitkickers #21!)
Elle says
July 16, 2009 at 9:04 amWell that’s interesting, cuz I also read this post and thought “gee Bossy drinks a lot”. I’ve really never read any other blog which brings alcohol into so many posts. Just sayin’.
KM says
July 16, 2009 at 9:19 amBossy, I became an avid reader when you posted your exercise routine that included a bottle of wine. Drink away my friend!! Enough with the Puritans….
Reeb says
July 16, 2009 at 11:19 amBossy calls us her Council and of course she does open a lot of her personal life to the online public on a daily basis, but really, other than Martha, Dexter, her mom, and BH, we’re not her close friends who see the whole of her life. We just get the peeks that she reveals to us, showing us some excellent photography and amusing us.
My take is: if we don’t like Bossy’s blog, we stop reading it. If we don’t like some aspects of Bossy’s blog, we overlook them. Are you changing your behavior based on what strangers comment on a blog to you?
BOSSY says
July 16, 2009 at 11:32 amBossy thinks we’re all gahhhh’s children and there’s room for everyone to express their thoughts, positive or negative. I Am Bossy is a drama-free zone. It’s even occasionally a booze-free zone, if Bossy is cleansing, and counting the days and hours until the cleanse is mercifully over.
Peace, council!
Biddy says
July 16, 2009 at 12:09 pmsuper cute boots…methinks they’re Docs or Doc knock offs…or as my grandaddy would call them, combat boots. i loved my docs!
also? how sad that someone pissed in Rainia’s cornflakes!
Dee says
July 16, 2009 at 5:37 pmI know this isn’t the point of the post today, but I think it is sad that so many commenter mention they like Bossy BECAUSE she drinks and wouldn’t be interested in a non alcoholic Bossy. That in itself speaks volumes.
Yes Rainia was a bit harsh but so are the comments if ou pay attention.
The commenters started to name call, not Rainia. Usually if your so stanch on defending something there is an element to truth to it and you don’t want to admit it.
JK says
July 16, 2009 at 9:11 pmI’m sorry I “name-called.” I am offended by negative comments YET I succumbed. Ooops, I just jumped off the negative bridge. I guess we are all gahhhhhhhhh’s children. I’ll go shuffle off to time-out now….
J.T. says
July 17, 2009 at 12:20 pm#47 – The most famous blogger out there, Dooce.com, with almost a million Twitter followers, voted one of the 30 most influential women in media by Forbes, includes alcohol in the title of her NYT bestseller. Dooce is all about the bourbon ladies.
Dee – Rainia essentially called Bossy an “alcoholic” and you do not think she name called (Needs a new liver!?).
Let’s call tonight BOSSY FRIDAY and all drink half a bottle of wine in honor of Bossy. Oh, and let’s all get our designated drivers ready so that Rainia does not religious right us on our blogs.
Liz says
July 17, 2009 at 12:44 pmCouldn’t have said it better myself, J.T.!
Alcoholism is serious business… and too often others label those who like to drink a lot as such. There is a world of difference between enjoying drinking (often!) and intervention-level alcoholism.
Anyway, sorry, that’s just a pet peeve of mine, but enough with the seriousness. I’ll be having a BOSSY FRIDAY in LA tonight!
Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING says
July 20, 2009 at 2:08 pmI LOVED my jazz shoes. Mine were black. It took a long time to convince my mom to buy them. They were probably almost out of style by the time I got them. I am pretty sure they were Payless Knock Offs which, naturally, means they have about 1 month of trendy life remaining at that point in time,
KEEP BELIEVING
Kim says
July 22, 2009 at 2:47 pm#34 I STILL HAVE the oxblood Docs. Lord have mercy. And I think a purple knock-off pair.
Rainia. Lighten the f*ck up.
Bossy, Dear, here’s some linkage. They are a knock-offs of Dr. Martens Model #1460, but possibly vintage since the sole is a bit different. I think you need sommadose.
OR, they are Corcoran jump boots, although the lace-up eyelet at the top is stumping my jump. They might also be HH Brown.
In other words. The bitch found some great boots and it’s going to be impossible to find the same ones.