The above photo depicts a vacation phenomenon. Actually it depicts at least two vacation phenomenons, possibly three — no wait, four. Five.
The first vacation phenomenon depicted in the above photo: there is no plural for phenomenon, or so says spell check. Perhaps phenomenon is already the plural and phenomena is the singular and phenom is the lazy bastard cousin.
The second vacation phenomenon regarding the above photo would have to be the alternate photo Bossy shot for the purpose of this Ten-Word Tuesday, which she doesn’t want to post here OK if you insist because in this alternate photo Bossy’s shadow is so revolting Bossy wouldn’t be able to sleep with it for all the money in the world, through all eternity:
The third vacation phenomenon depicted by the above photo: when Bossy swims in the lake near her campground she gets what she likes to call Lake Champlain Hair, which is smooth and manageable and exactly like the Lake Champlain Hair you see pictured above, except way cuter and less frizzy and not really at all like the Lake Champlain hair captured in these photos so quit asking.
The real, or if you are one of those pesky enumerating types, fourth vacation phenomenon: many many lord why so many years ago, Bossy’s mom gave Bossy a classic white shirt. Except this classic white shirt didn’t seem especially classic, since it was always too stiff and thick, like canvas. And so Bossy could never get herself to wear this shirt, even though Bossy would optimistically try it on again and again, with many different things, before changing into something
Here’s the phenomenon part: Bossy decided to pack this very shirt for her camping trip — you know, in case Bossy was in the just right situation that called for a stiff thick canvassy thing.
Well, it turns out Bossy wore this shirt every minute of every day during her vacation. Bossy layered this shirt over tank tops during the day, she wore this shirt over dresses to keep warm at night, she wore it over her bathing suit to keep from getting sunburnt, she wore it, wore it, and then wore it.
Bossy doesn’t know what it is about vacations that allow the usage of an otherwise ignored article of clothing, just like Bossy doesn’t know what it is about vacations that lead us to purchase tie-dye sarongs we just know we’re going to wear to dinner parties for the rest of our lives but end up abandoning as soon as the jet is taxiing on the runway out of Catalina, which leads Bossy to the last and final vacation phenomenon:
Bossy purchased these fake pink crocks at the campground grocery store last year for a few dollars, which is arguable four dollars too many. Except just to spite her retching son, Bossy proceeded to wear these crocks every minute of that camping vacation, and again this year, in and out of tile showers and muddy campsites and even to the occasional thai restaurant in the local city.
But take these same fake pink crocks, please, and stick them on the back porch in Bossy’s house and they’ll collect an inordinate amount of dust.
Bossy can sum up her vacation clothing phenomenon this way: The wide-brimmed straw hat from Mexico? Never worn once home.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy about an item of clothing you have worn or purchased on vacation that is perfect in those surroundings but doesn’t translate to your everyday wardrobe once you get home?
And be sure to check back later today for the most abandoned clothing items on the web.
If you missed last week’s Ten-Word Challenge, Top Chef Vacation, when Bossy’s council enumerated the foods they associate with vacations — in ten words — then click here. Bossy hates the thought of you missing these creative comments.