These two words, that’s what Bossy saw when she opened her email program last night. Bossy gathered herself in hopeful anticipation, although believe you her, Bossy is no stranger to sweet nothings, where sweet nothings equals sister mercy mostly with the nothings, hold the sweet.
So Bossy read on, “My name is Andaline,honest and nice looking girl .”
Nice to meet you, Andaline, is it? Andaline who sometimes forfeits space after punctuation and sometimes adds too much? That Andaline?
“i am 25yrs old 160cm tall,” wrote Andaline.
Andaline continues, “i am chocolate skinned,with brown eye balls.”
“i am looking for a man who can be a true friend and a close confidant,so i checked the site of acquaintance and found your profile very interesting.”
“Remember age and distance should not be a barrier to finding true love,it should not limit us from discovering the beauty that lies in between us ok?”
In other news, Bossy would like to announce the winner of her $100 gift certificate for Yummie Tummie: congratulations Maggie! Bossy sent you an email.
For the rest of the class, as a thank you for participating, Yummie Tummie would like to extend a 20% discount on their featured Skinny Tank. Simply enter the following top secret discount code when checking out: SKINNYTANK. The offer is good until Sept 30th.
Theresa says
September 11, 2009 at 9:32 amI love those emails. My daughter’s name is Adeline 🙂
clickmom says
September 11, 2009 at 10:04 amDoes Andaline perchance need you to deposit some cash in a foreign bank account in order for your true love to blossom?
patty says
September 11, 2009 at 10:20 amFYI, I just spewed my morning diet coke through my nostrils.
E says
September 11, 2009 at 10:43 amI think your standards are WAY too high. Girls with brown eye balls need love & friendship just as much as the blue eye-balled girls!
Martie says
September 11, 2009 at 10:46 amI thought she sounded cute and sweet. Brown eye balls and all.
km says
September 11, 2009 at 10:49 amIs Andaline the one who has been telling me my flaccid penis will be like a rock pole if I order meds from Canada. She is very confused.
I am unfriending her
David says
September 11, 2009 at 11:04 amI don’t ever open those because it just means more will be coming down the road.
But, Bossy, you are more man then I will ever be.
But I’m every woman, so it balances out.
Reeb says
September 11, 2009 at 11:48 am1. E#4, I didn’t know girls could get blue balls. Oh wait, that’s not what you wrote.
2. Bossy, I like how the OK extends beyond the sides of its box, and get shaded on the edge and all that.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
September 11, 2009 at 11:51 amAndaline probably thought Bossy would have a spare husband or three to toss her way.
Little Miss Sunshine State says
September 11, 2009 at 12:11 pmChesapeake Bay Woman is on the right track.
Andaline wants your John Cusack. Or your chocolate-skinned Barack O’Boyfriend.
You tell that Andaline to keep her mitts off your spare husbands.
Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy says
September 11, 2009 at 12:20 pmThanks for the giggle! That eyeball will be in my head all day.
Almudena says
September 11, 2009 at 12:39 pmyou know where i’d send andaline and her brown eyeballs? same place i’d send the random number generator.
Maggie says
September 11, 2009 at 12:41 pmI’m guessing it was the other Maggie that won because this Maggie didn’t receive an email. Maybe next time.
Momish says
September 11, 2009 at 1:24 pmBossy shouldn’t flatter herself, this Andaline has been after me for months now. Finally, I wrote her back: “Listen here bitch, don’t be making fun of my Italian heritage. Just because I may have a slight moustache, that doesn’t make me a man!”
This girl’s a ho. Bossy should *delete* her.
Karen says
September 11, 2009 at 1:31 pmThere is a reason I read your blog everyday Bossy – you crack me up! I will be laughing about Andaline all day…
BossysMom says
September 11, 2009 at 2:06 pmMaybe I’ve started too many comments with….”oh man,…
But…oh man, this was just tooooo funny around the punchline area.
wendy says
September 11, 2009 at 2:10 pmMy 13-year-old daughter received the same email. It freaked her out until she decided it was funny.
The Domestic Goddess says
September 11, 2009 at 2:19 pmHAHAHA!!!! A penis! Good one!
Domestic Goddess (in training) says
September 11, 2009 at 3:36 pmI happen to think your profile is pretty interesting, too, but maybe it’s just the hat.
The Coffee Lady says
September 11, 2009 at 3:42 pmIt’s sad for Andaline. If the penis thing is an issue, I can forward some information about growing one that I was kindly emailed recently. Well, it was actually about growing a bigger one, but I’m sure it would kind of work.
Amber Star says
September 11, 2009 at 3:50 pmAndaline just wanted you to hold some cash for her while you gave her access to your bank accounts. She wants for make a deposit for you. She thinks you are in disguise with the lonish blonde hair and all…maybe that Northman on True Blood’s little brother or something.
Amber Star says
September 11, 2009 at 3:51 pmThat would be LONGISH blonde hair…dangit
kate says
September 11, 2009 at 4:16 pmher eyeball looks lovely.
Gail K. says
September 11, 2009 at 5:03 pmI’m glad Andaline has moved on after our tragic break…delete up. The girl was an expensive date and I am a cheap date – just ask my husband. He once Western Unioned his brother $100 so he could take a girl out. When I asked if he ever spent that much on date with me, I got the “uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..” look.
Lovelyn says
September 11, 2009 at 6:21 pmI once got a similar email from Jackline. It started with the salutation “Dearest One”. Jackline was a lovely girl of only 21. Maybe she and Andaline are friends.
Kathy from NJ says
September 11, 2009 at 8:57 pmShe’s 5’3″ – personally I wouldn’t date any woman who wasn’t at least 170 cm. Did she tell you how much she weighs in kg?
Cat says
September 12, 2009 at 9:48 amBossy, you’re going to let some little ole thing like a lack of penis get between you and your brown-eye-balled girl? You’re going to miss out on some wonderful closeness and friendship.
Texas Susan says
September 12, 2009 at 10:41 amBossy and these comments are cracking me up this morning! Love the illustrations!
JennyMac says
September 12, 2009 at 12:32 pmThis made me laugh…and great illustrations!
Aina says
September 13, 2009 at 4:20 amOh my…u crack me up 🙂 Found ur site some time ago through Pioneer Woman`s..so glad I did!
Jason says
September 13, 2009 at 11:44 amBossy’s all the man I’LL ever need.
dgm says
September 13, 2009 at 4:40 pmYou should go all Crying Game on her.
Sheri says
September 14, 2009 at 1:15 pmI think I look forward to your daily post as much as to my morning cup of coffee! You always make me smile! However, I think I LOL’d which is not good after taking a big gulp of water!
Thanks!
Enrico says
September 16, 2009 at 1:15 pmLOL! I love your attempt at math…. you got farther than I would have!