So. Last week Bossy’s mom sends Bossy an email about how she was on this website and while there, she read a post about a recommended book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which she immediately ordered, because the whole Bossy family is sort of all about her and everything she says.
So. Fast forward to Bossy and her husband taking a walk, and Bossy mentions this book and her plans to read it when her mother was finished.
So. Fast forward some more, to a time when Bossy will stop using the word so to begin every sentence. And there you will find Bossy, sitting at her desk which is dressed as a dining room table, when suddenly Bossy’s husband appears with a book he now slams down in front of Bossy. And it’s, yeah, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
“Someone lent this to me a while ago,” Bossy’s husband said. Apparently so much a while ago that he didn’t even remember having it, and he couldn’t even remember who that person was or why the book was lent.
Also? He never even read the book, which was situated on a book shelf in
purgatory the Bossy Family Basement — and all Bossy can think is: every one of the scenarios that led to Bossy’s union with this book are featured in that very famous other book: The 7 Habits of Highly Dysfunctional People.
So Bossy decided to take The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People to bed with her the other night, which was actually not a night at all but rather a day, and yes, Bossy is well aware that napping is also nowhere to be found in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
So Bossy took the book to bed with her and here’s what she learned: nothing because she fell asleep.
But then later that night, after she finished watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and after catching the tale end of Ghost Town, and after she watched the middle part of Juno when the girl first meets the couple, and after the Seinfeld reunion on Curb Your Enthusiasm — and has Bossy mentioned that her television provider gave the Bossy family three months of free HBO and sister mercy how any of you with HBO manage to move away from your TV screens is a miracle which Bossy assumes is addressed in a chapter all its own in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People — but anyway, after watching all of that, Bossy once again propped herself in front of the book and here’s what she learned:
Something about how the guy who wrote the book was stressing out about his failure of a kid, and although he and his wife were attempting to help their kid become a more normal kid, they were only making the kid’s weirdness worse.
And something about how, at the same time, this author was researching success and how it was interpreted over the decades — how back in the early stages of this country success was defined as character-based, but since then we’ve slipped into defining success as personality-based and don’t begin to ask Bossy to explain the difference because she only made it to page 18 before falling asleep.
Also, the book begins on page 15. But stay tuned.