By now you have all bathed in the story of the Windmere, Florida man who phoned 911 after his neighbor, Tiger Woods,
was beaten with a golf club by his Swedish ex-model wife drove his Escalade into a tree.
Bossy has listened to the 911 tape, and she has only this to say: When Bossy is high on pain killers and having an affair with a nightclub promoter named Rachel and Bossy’s husband lashes Bossy about the face and Bossy careens down the driveway to escape his angry blows and Bossy’s husband goes off looking for her in a golf cart after Bossy first crashes into a fire hydrant and then a tree and Bossy’s husband has to break-out the back window of her SUV and pull her from the car and then leave her unconscious on the lawn, Bossy hopes her neighbors are more focused than the nice folks in the Isleworth subdivision.
Of course Tiger Woods’ poor neighbor — who told the 911 operator helpful things like “he hit a tree” while failing to mention there was a car involved — probably never imagined the need to phone 911 for a neighbor when he purchased his
municipal library home:
One time many years ago in a land far away, Bossy’s neighbor knocked on her door. She told Bossy she was packing up and leaving her husband who was very dangerous and no telling what he might do, driven to rage and embarrassment as he was with a hastily departing family, and you have a nice day! And with that she turned on her heels and spun rubber on her way to a new life.
For weeks that bled into months, Bossy kept a vigil at her window, making note of this man’s comings and goings for the imagined court case. One time Bossy was so flustered by the sudden appearance of his car during a weekday afternoon — a weekday afternoon, people! — that she stumbled down her back porch steps and twisted her ankle in a way that left Bossy on crutches for an interminable amount of time, leaving her with nothing to do but watch the O.J. Simpson trial and oh yeah, did Bossy fail to mention the entire country was a little on edge regarding domestic violence?
Needless to say so Bossy will say it anyway, the neighbor incident passed without note — and then that particular neighbor moved and then Bossy moved and more moving was involved and even more moving, although not necessarily in that order.
Bossy can sum up her relationship with her current neighbors in this way: The patience of saints, what with Bossy’s constant carrying on.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you share some neighbor stories with Bossy and her council?
And don’t forget to check back later today for the neighboriest comments on the web.
If you missed last week’s challenge, it’s because there was no challenge! But if you missed the week before, click here to find out how Bossy’s readers would fill in the blank, I love you but…