Baby David smiles when he sleeps.
Many of you have wondered why Bossy renamed the cat who is not a stray but don’t tell him because he thinks he won the Bossy compound in a game of craps — and why Baby David.
The Royle Family, a BBC sitcom that ran from 1998-2000 is perhaps the best piece of television Bossy has ever seen. In it, a working class family whose last name serves hilarious contrast to the actual royal family, watches the telly. Yeah, that’s about it from front to back, give or take the few minutes it takes one of them to brew a pot in the kitchen or have a go at the upstairs toilet.
The brilliant cast consists of a couple and their grown to near-grown kids. One season is wrapped around the impending nuptials of their daughter Denice and her bump-on-a-log boyfriend, Dave. Of course a pregnancy soon follows, and the birth of a son, Baby David.
Baby David is largely ignored, propped in his plastic baby seat on the coffee table, helpless against the long cigarette ash passing over his head. But ever so occasionally the family will turn their attention to this complacent blob and say something along the lines of, “He’s quite bright, in’t he?” To which someone will invariably and sentimentally answer, “Who?” which triggers the indignant response, “Baybeeeee Daaaaaaaavid.”
And to anyone still curious about the future of Bossy and her Not Stray — the cat’s rightful owners up the street we’re looking at you — Baby David is only allowed in Bossy house for brief, brief periods only occasionally, when the bitter cold is so cold and bitter the white cat begins to turn blue.