Bossy has been a fulltime writer, more or less, for the past four years, which means Bossy is her own boss. This predicament has its advantages and disadvantages.
- Bossy’s boss has a lenient dress code. Meaning dress is optional. Although Bossy can’t write anything of worth unless she is wearing a bra. Call it structure.
- Bossy can bring her dog to the office. Because there is no office. But there is a dining room table. And a dog.
- Bossy can drink alcohol in front of her boss because her boss drinks too. Although the office parties are terribly small (see advantage two.)
- Bossy can write about whatever she wants because her boss is open-minded. Or maybe her boss is just hung-over.
- Bossy can’t hide behind the water cooler when she wants to avoid her boss. Because there is no water cooler. And there’s no avoiding the boss who plants herself between Bossy’s ears.
- Bossy’s boss has an issue with boundaries. Writing, photography, social networking, fine, Bossy will indulge in these practices for you. But cleaning your stove on Bossy’s lunch hour and picking up your dry cleaning because Bossy “happens to be in the neighborhood anyway” — no, that is not part of the job description. Also? Even Gah rests on Sundays.
- Bossy’s boss brings her dog to the
officedining room table, too. And that dog needs its mouth wiped.
- Whenever Bossy calls in sick and thinks she got away with it, there’s Bossy’s boss in the dark nightclub tapping Bossy on the shoulder all, “I thought you said you were sick and here I find you wiggling your fanny with a vodka tonic in your hand,” which is to say Bossy’s boss is everywhere.
- When Bossy misses a work deadline, Bossy’s boss is crestfallen, which is a sight so pathetic it trumps any words of admonishment.
Case in point, Bossy had the task of completing a video project so she can announce something exciting, and the boss-imposed deadline for this video was today.
But instead Bossy went out last night and didn’t come home until very late, preventing Bossy from working on the video, and then Bossy slept through her morning alarm while her children tended to their own breakfast needs and about that? Nothing makes a person feel like Courtney Love more than practicing the repose of irresponsibility while listening to the Middle-Schooler, downstairs, rustling through the kitchen cabinets for something, anything, that can be dunked in the toaster.
All this to say, Bossy apologizes for missing her deadline today. She really is eager to share this video with her council since it involves all of you.
Can we agree to meet back here later this weekend instead? Promise?