The first thing Bossy wants her council to know: under no circumstances does Bossy watch morning television. Unless that circumstance is losing one’s electrical power during a storm and so the next day at your mother’s house the two of you turn on the TV in order to reset her clock and sister mercy it’s the Dr. Oz show and if you even think about touching that remote someone is going to get hurt.
The next thing Bossy wants her council to know: Bossy considers herself medically savvy, something she picked up from hanging around her dad. And so Bossy always enjoyed when Dr. Oz made an appearance on Aunt Oprah talking about stuff like pee because, similar to Bossy’s father,
Dr. Oz’s approach is very logical, preemptive, and fully integrated concerning the mind and body.
But Bossy had no interest in following Dr. Oz over to his own network show which concerns itself with medical minutia — that is, until the other day, because oh my gah the things you can learn about ear wax.
First Dr. Oz explained that ear wax is your body’s natural way of cleaning and lubricating the ear, and protecting the ear against intruders — and when Bossy heard this she couldn’t help but remember the time she was spending the night in a seedy interstate motel room with her newlywed husband and a stray cat they had hours before rescued from a supermarket parking lot on their way to Chicago for a family wedding and so there was Bossy in a motel room in the middle of the night when Bossy became convinced a flea had crawled into her ear and was hopping its way across her prefrontal cortex which is when Bossy reached for the phone and woke her dad on the other end who was all, Even if a flea had made its way into your ear it would become trapped in ear wax long before it reached your brain please lose my phone number.
Anyway.
Next Dr. Oz recognized that although ear wax is a natural process, most people don’t want it to be visible, and therefore they attempt to remove wax with a Q-tip. Except Dr. Oz doesn’t agree with this practice of earwax removal — and so he demonstrated the many associated dangers utilizing a giant Q-tip:
The basic threat is not knowing how far to insert the Q-tip and therefore running the risk of popping the ear drum:
Dr. Oz also demonstrated how persistent prodding with a Q-tip along the ear canal can push and lodge the natural healthy wax against the ear drum where it is no longer natural or healthy.
Dr. Oz’s solution? Dissolve extraneous earwax with baby oil, namely two drops in each ear, tilting the head to the side and allowing the ear wax to dissipate on its own. Then wrap a soft cotton t-shirt around a finger, which is used to swab the excess wax and oil from the ear.
And that’s everything Bossy and her mom learned about ear wax! Stay tuned later this week, when the duo find out about parasitic worms!
WebSavvyMom says
June 28, 2010 at 7:42 am–>I don’t understand the main purpose of Q-tips if you’re not supposed to use them in your ears.
Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) says
June 28, 2010 at 8:01 amI might even try this remedy… am getting very deaf lately! Of course no-one around me is saying nice enough things for me to want to listen…
Adore the ear canal diagram – should be one in every waiting room!
BB
GreatAunt says
June 28, 2010 at 8:20 amLove your ear diagram, Bossy. GreatAunt and her BFF once made an inner ear model out of playdough for the 4th grade sciene fair.
pamela dayton time says
June 28, 2010 at 8:47 amThank the good Lord for this post, because just this morning I was thinking about getting the tool box out to clean my Wee Man’s ears. Ear wax cement, that’s what it is.
Jenni D. says
June 28, 2010 at 8:59 amOK, so let me get this straight. I keep my earwax well lubricated with baby oil so that it can easily slide out of my ear and onto my shoulder while I am flirting with Dr. Oz? Well, if that’s what it takes to nab the doctor, I guess I’m game!
Heide says
June 28, 2010 at 9:09 amBossy is hilarious!
corrie says
June 28, 2010 at 9:11 amOooo Goody! Parasitic worms! Can’t wait!
taters growing in there says
June 28, 2010 at 9:59 amMy doctor told me to get one of those ear wax removal kits with the bulb syringe thingy that squirts water all up in the canal. Which I did, and then the water got stuck, and all I could hear was the roaring of my heartbeat, which gave me a big time panic attack…I had to go to the emergency room to have that ear wax removed. Do you know, they kept my ear wax in a little display jar…eww! Freak show!
kristin @ going country says
June 28, 2010 at 10:00 amOH NO. Do NOT watch the worms show. I think I saw that one last year when I was trapped in my dentist’s chair, where they very kindly have TVs for the immobile patients to watch. Except I REALLY did not want to watch a show all about worms and how you can get them from a salad at your favorite sidewalk cafe.
How do the people who watch these shows keep themselves from becoming raging hypochondriacs?
Meg at the Members Lounge says
June 28, 2010 at 10:12 amDr Oz is getting cuter!. I’m even tempted by those smoothies he throws spinach into.
Little Miss Sunshine State says
June 28, 2010 at 10:35 amDO NOT have snacks while you watch the parasitic worms episode.
I took a whole semester of Parasitology in college without once getting skeeved out, but that Dr Oz Worm Show made me gag.
Lizzy says
June 28, 2010 at 11:00 amAfter all that good information, the only thing my small brain takes away is… how am I going to fit an entire cotton t-shirt in my ear? Wouldn’t that be worse than a little ear wax? THIS is why I don’t watch daytime TV.
Tawny says
June 28, 2010 at 11:28 amI am going to suggest this to my husband. Recently he has had earwax issues and the doctor reccomended (sp?) Debrox, however I heard this formula was caustic. Plus baby oil is cheaper.
Deb says
June 28, 2010 at 12:17 pmDr. Oz is OBSESSED with POOP and that pretty much outweighs any cuteness factor.
KathyB says
June 28, 2010 at 12:18 pmKids are strange. I remember being jealous of my brothers because they actually needed their ears cleaned out by Dad at his office. Mom too. Not me though, not enough to warrant the swish.
I keep a small box of Q-tips handy to clean my cat Mokey’s ears. He seems to have pretty grungy ears, but not mites. Jag was the one who had mitey ears when he came to me from the vet. Now they are sparkly. No help from me needed.
I have grazed Dr. Oz show a few times. He does a good job. Not bad to look at either. One of my stations runs the show at night – wouldn’t be breaking any Bossy rules that way :>), but just don’t want to invest that much time in it.
Meg says
June 28, 2010 at 1:09 pmI agree that Dr Oz looks somehow cuter than he used to. But my real MD crush is Dr Sanjay Gupta! *swoon*
ScottsdaleGirl says
June 28, 2010 at 2:41 pmYeah I have had to have the wateryflushy thing done at the doctors office at least once every 2 years. And every time she tells me NOT to clean my ears with Qtips. And every time I still do because it squicks me OUT to have water and possibly soap and OMG what if I have earwax showing!
blergh.
ruth says
June 28, 2010 at 4:17 pmHis speech impediment makes me unable to watch the Dr. of Oz. All the money he makes? He needs assistance.
foolery says
June 28, 2010 at 4:19 pmI will now look with grave suspicion upon any and all stained t-shirts.
Tom says
June 28, 2010 at 5:32 pmGeorgia, you know I love ya… Dr Oz has a great point of view, as we all do, and he is somewhat attractive to me (as a gay guy), but… of the 19 comments before mine… ummm I can’t disagree with any of them.. I can’t beleive he got his own show… but then again, I have my own blog, WTF???
Love ya sister,
Tom
Margie says
June 28, 2010 at 6:07 pmCould you change your routine to watch the doc everyday? I don’t watch him, but I would be able to get the skinny with humor from your blog.
Carroll says
June 28, 2010 at 7:20 pmEh. He’s not half as cute as your very own Pop Doc, Bossy. Your dad’s eye crinkles are totally swoon-worthy!
kathleenmary says
June 28, 2010 at 8:03 pmI’m going to have to ditto Deb’s comment which has had me laughing out loud at many an awkward moment throughout the day. I’m really tired of Ms. Oprah’s protegees’. Dr. Philbilly turned me off to Oprah…I’ve never returned.
Cupcake Murphy says
June 28, 2010 at 10:12 pmOne time I thought I went deaf. So I trotted to Sav-On and purchased an ear wax removal kit which should have been called ENSURING You Go Deaf When You Just Think You’re Deaf Kit and one of the side effects was an unpleasant anvil piercing feeling in my brain and all of this resulted in an emergency room visit and doctor after doctor saying how terrible Q-Tips are. Why must life be so hard? Q-TIps are magical yet they cause so much pain.
muskrat says
June 28, 2010 at 10:28 pmThis is precisely why I reserve q-tips for my ass.
Deborah says
June 28, 2010 at 10:32 pmSaddest part: I really needed to see that episode. Am convinced I am suffering from moderate-to-severe hearing loss as the result of shoving the q-tip in too far for many, many years. It’s just that the water gets in when I swim! And it itches! And how else am I supposed to get it out if I don’t go in after it?? That Dr. Oz. He’s so smart, and so cute, but he doesn’t really care about ME, about MY NEEDS. Not really.
Red Hamster says
June 28, 2010 at 10:36 pmSeriously? There is an hour of tv devoted to discussing parasitic worms?! I’ve never watched Dr. Oz and probably never will, now that I’ve been warned that he’s all about earwax, and poop, and worms. Nobody is that cute.
However, if anyone could make parasitic worms funny, Bossy could.
Lynn says
June 28, 2010 at 11:34 pmOh contrare, Comment #27!! Dr. Oz is so cute and yes, worth watching. Bossy — I can’t get over how you are able to create those kinda weird drawings like you do and totally capture the essence of the person you are drawing! I think you ought to offer them for sale on greeting cards or something. I would sure buy ’em. Anyhoo — thanks for the great drawing of our favorite Dr….and the nice thing about him is he’s really a nice guy!
Robin says
June 28, 2010 at 11:55 pmEar candles? Anyone?
Shannon says
June 29, 2010 at 12:05 amI just googled it and, lo, I’ve been risking my hearing all these years!?! That’s it! No more q-tips! (Which will be hard as I’m sort of addicted to them…)
Texas Susan says
June 29, 2010 at 1:00 amWhile watching Dr. Oz today, I noticed that his ears seem to be getting larger. Hope that’s not caused by any ear wax buildup!
DalaiLori says
June 29, 2010 at 9:28 amHubby and son had major earwax issues. I read in a holistic book that too much earwax is the result of fatty acids deficiency and to add olive oil to foods and cook with it. Added it to pasta and smoothies and fried with it and no more earwax problems! See http://www.ehow.com/way_5391331_home-remedies-removing-ear-wax.html too. Says similar thing there too. My, but what an interestingly odd blog post.
BossysMom says
June 29, 2010 at 9:29 amI wax and wane on q-tips….inner ear doc told me they leave a residue in your ear….
actually don’t use them except to clean keyboard.
Kelly says
June 30, 2010 at 2:50 amDoes Bossy know that there’s a whole show devoted to parasitic worms? It’s called something like “Monster Inside Me” on Discovery or one of those channels. I refuse to let my hypochondriac 8-year-old daughter (or myself) watch it.
Dara says
June 30, 2010 at 5:16 pmI met Dr. Oz up close and personal-like. Shook his hand and even watched him eat some low-fat plain yogurt with fruit!! He does practice what he preaches!!!
He is super cute in person, but he’s SHORT.
Kelly says
July 2, 2010 at 10:07 amFrom a former obsessive q-tip user, I appreciate this post! God, the ear canal is like the vagina. The q-tip is like…well, never mind. But now I just do it occasionally.