The first thing Bossy wants her council to know: under no circumstances does Bossy watch morning television. Unless that circumstance is losing one’s electrical power during a storm and so the next day at your mother’s house the two of you turn on the TV in order to reset her clock and sister mercy it’s the Dr. Oz show and if you even think about touching that remote someone is going to get hurt.
The next thing Bossy wants her council to know: Bossy considers herself medically savvy, something she picked up from hanging around her dad. And so Bossy always enjoyed when Dr. Oz made an appearance on Aunt Oprah talking about stuff like pee because, similar to Bossy’s father,
Dr. Oz’s approach is very logical, preemptive, and fully integrated concerning the mind and body.
But Bossy had no interest in following Dr. Oz over to his own network show which concerns itself with medical minutia — that is, until the other day, because oh my gah the things you can learn about ear wax.
First Dr. Oz explained that ear wax is your body’s natural way of cleaning and lubricating the ear, and protecting the ear against intruders — and when Bossy heard this she couldn’t help but remember the time she was spending the night in a seedy interstate motel room with her newlywed husband and a stray cat they had hours before rescued from a supermarket parking lot on their way to Chicago for a family wedding and so there was Bossy in a motel room in the middle of the night when Bossy became convinced a flea had crawled into her ear and was hopping its way across her prefrontal cortex which is when Bossy reached for the phone and woke her dad on the other end who was all, Even if a flea had made its way into your ear it would become trapped in ear wax long before it reached your brain please lose my phone number.
Next Dr. Oz recognized that although ear wax is a natural process, most people don’t want it to be visible, and therefore they attempt to remove wax with a Q-tip. Except Dr. Oz doesn’t agree with this practice of earwax removal — and so he demonstrated the many associated dangers utilizing a giant Q-tip:
The basic threat is not knowing how far to insert the Q-tip and therefore running the risk of popping the ear drum:
Dr. Oz also demonstrated how persistent prodding with a Q-tip along the ear canal can push and lodge the natural healthy wax against the ear drum where it is no longer natural or healthy.
Dr. Oz’s solution? Dissolve extraneous earwax with baby oil, namely two drops in each ear, tilting the head to the side and allowing the ear wax to dissipate on its own. Then wrap a soft cotton t-shirt around a finger, which is used to swab the excess wax and oil from the ear.
And that’s everything Bossy and her mom learned about ear wax! Stay tuned later this week, when the duo find out about parasitic worms!