This is a photo of Bossy dancing in a bar in the Berkshires this past May while on her (No) Book Tour. Actually, this is not a photo of Bossy dancing in a bar in the Berkshires this past May — this is a photo of Bossy panicking.
Why would Bossy be panicking? Because this particular bar in the Berkshires featured karaoke.
Don’t get Bossy wrong, it’s not that she’s too shy to sing in public, where public equals in front of her daughter in the car. It’s just that when faced with the idea of karaoke, Bossy can never remember which songs she’s able to sing without random dogs throwing themselves into traffic.
If you’ve never been to a karaoke bar, then you probably don’t know that the list of available karaoke songs is contained within a book the approximate height of Burj Khalifa.
Bossy’s reaction to this paradigm of too much choice is always the same: she begins by flipping through the song list alphabetically until she is a very old woman, the end.
Next Bossy flips through the book by artist: The Beatles, no. The Commodores, no. Oh look, the bar is closing!
And there’s one more troubling factor wrapped around this idea of karaoke: Bossy thinks she can remember songs, until she is halfway through and is all, Oh right, I forgot about this altogether awkward bridge — the very same bridge Bossy would like to jump from rather than sing the tune in front of strangers.
Bossy can sum up her attitude about karaoke in this way: What’s so wrong with hiding in the bathroom stall anyway?
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy if you have a preordained tune you sing at karaoke, and if so which one/s so Bossy can get her song on?
And be sure to check back later today for the best karaoke suggestions on the web.
The Domestic Goddess saysAugust 10, 2010 at 8:43 am
Always do Summer Nights from Grease, especially with a partner.
BOSSY saysAugust 10, 2010 at 8:43 am
Bossy thinks maybe she can sing guy vocalist songs better.
Wimsey saysAugust 10, 2010 at 8:44 am
Rawhide – classic, cowboy. Plus you get to slap your butt.
Respect – everybody wants to be Aretha.
Mack The Knife – because Bobby was just it.
(I feel very old right now.)
WebSavvyMom saysAugust 10, 2010 at 8:44 am
–>It’s been about 10 years but I always go with Shania Twain’s “Any Man of Mine.”
It’s really hard to screw it up. That, or I had enough *liquid courage* to think I sang it well.
Before marrying me, my husband got kicked out of a bar in Canada for changing “My Sharona” to “My Scrotum” while he swung the microphone around.
Maria saysAugust 10, 2010 at 8:45 am
I always sing Freedom 90. I get to say “ass.”
Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) saysAugust 10, 2010 at 8:49 am
Walking on Sunshine (Katrina and the Waves)… so catchy everyone else sings along too and drowns out (my) very bad singing.
PS If you’re an Aussie, it’s gotta be Khe Sahn by Cold Chisel but I don’t know if it’s well known in the USA. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khe_Sanh_(song))
vuboq saysAugust 10, 2010 at 8:53 am
Love Shack! Baby! Tin Roof! Rusted! Chryslers! Whales! Fantastic! B-52s!
MD saysAugust 10, 2010 at 8:55 am
Preordained is for rookies. Flip randomly and go for it.
mom2werogers saysAugust 10, 2010 at 8:59 am
Baby Got Back – Sir Mix-a-lot. Distract with booty.
Ambry saysAugust 10, 2010 at 9:18 am
Sweet Caroline. Everyone sings along! You’ll never be alone. :]
Totalspacecadet saysAugust 10, 2010 at 9:22 am
Sweet Caroline! DUN DUN DUN! Good times never seem so good!
Shelley saysAugust 10, 2010 at 9:22 am
Husband and I always did “Paradise By The Dashboard Light.”
Shelley saysAugust 10, 2010 at 9:23 am
“Joy to the World”, Three Dog Night. Everyone sings along.
Shelley saysAugust 10, 2010 at 9:24 am
Favorite solo, “I Only Wanna Be With You.” – Samantha Fox.
Heather saysAugust 10, 2010 at 9:37 am
Air Supply, preferably Making Love Out Of Nothing At All.
Catazon saysAugust 10, 2010 at 9:56 am
Save faves list in phone; forget about list and FAIL.
(This doesn’t really answer the question, but it’s my karaoke method.)
DawnA saysAugust 10, 2010 at 9:57 am
I kick butt on Son of a Preacher Man, Time after Time and Sweet Home Alabama. But only on playstation RockStar. You should get one and have karaoke night at your house.
the 7msn ranch saysAugust 10, 2010 at 10:00 am
Have not, cannot, will not sing in public. Ever.
heidig saysAugust 10, 2010 at 10:03 am
#18 – ditto!
Dree saysAugust 10, 2010 at 10:07 am
Daydream Believer by the Monkeys is melodious when sung drunk!
pvz saysAugust 10, 2010 at 10:07 am
Absolutely nothing wrong with hiding in a bathroom stall (I hope the stalls in the womens rooms are nicer than those in the mens room).
I’m petrified of karaoke, and I play guitar and sing. I’d much rather sing w/ my guitar than in front of a bar w/ words displayed on a screen. I’ve never been drunk enough to actually do it. My wife has, and has enjoyed it. She says.
On one of our first dates I met her at a bar, and walked in to someone “singing.” I didn’t recognize the song or the voice. It was her. Singing Me and Bobby McGee. I haven’t let her forget this.
Gramps saysAugust 10, 2010 at 10:09 am
Can’t do it in 10 words.
Karaoked once. Was fantastic—– and drunk.
Next day at work lots of smiles and shaking of heads
Liz Tee saysAugust 10, 2010 at 10:10 am
I’ve never even done karaoke but I am pretty certain I would suffer from the same malady as Bossy. For those of us who would end up standing there like a deer caught in headlights, a preordained, tried-n-true would be the way to go.
CS saysAugust 10, 2010 at 10:26 am
always bobby mcgee, because drunk can pull off gravelly/low.
GrandeMocha saysAugust 10, 2010 at 10:32 am
My most successful attempt at karaoke was “Like a Virgin”. I had a LOT to drink & so did my friends. They asked for a repeat for years.
GrandeMocha saysAugust 10, 2010 at 10:36 am
Another time, I didn’t realize that the reason I couldn’t understand the girl ahead of me was the words were in kanji, not English. Some liquid courage was involved.
GrandeMocha saysAugust 10, 2010 at 10:43 am
I sang “Wild Thing” (Troggs vers) and the DJ turned my mic off. I kept going!
Mary K saysAugust 10, 2010 at 10:46 am
One (is the Loneliest Number) — Three Dog Night. Awwwww song.
rockle saysAugust 10, 2010 at 11:15 am
“Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osbourne. Works for me, every time.
squaregirl saysAugust 10, 2010 at 11:23 am
Dead Kennedys. Too Drunk To F**k. Need I say more?
Scottsdale Girl saysAugust 10, 2010 at 11:30 am
Angel from Montgomery or It’s So Easy (linda Rondstatd)
Scottsdale Girl saysAugust 10, 2010 at 11:33 am
Ronstat? Rondstat? hmmmmm
Tara Anderson saysAugust 10, 2010 at 11:35 am
“Wild wild life” by Talking Heads.
Because it’s true.
Yellaphant saysAugust 10, 2010 at 11:57 am
Love is a Battle Field. ALWAYS.
Christine saysAugust 10, 2010 at 12:08 pm
No bars anymore- now just lots of Disney songs.
Dharmamama saysAugust 10, 2010 at 12:12 pm
Anything by the Ramones – I Wanna Be Sedated, Rockaway Beach, Sheena is a Punk Rocker, Blitzkrieg Bop
OR anything by Reel Big Fish – She Has a Girlfriend Now, Your Guts (I Hate ’em), Beer Added bonus of lots of air guitar
Meg at the Members Lounge saysAugust 10, 2010 at 12:16 pm
Exact same range as Nancy Sinatra. Are you ready boots? .
KathyB saysAugust 10, 2010 at 12:21 pm
Just say No Thank You to karaoke microphone, bossy Bossy.
dgm saysAugust 10, 2010 at 12:34 pm
“Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves” and “Sweet Caroline” exhaust my potential.
Dawn in Austin saysAugust 10, 2010 at 1:11 pm
One time drunk, er, brave enough to sing karaoke- “Tequila!”
Bellacantare saysAugust 10, 2010 at 1:20 pm
“Hit Me With Your Best Shot” is my go to.
Amy in NJ saysAugust 10, 2010 at 1:29 pm
chain chain chain chain chain chain chain “Chain of Fools.”
ags345 saysAugust 10, 2010 at 1:35 pm
Like a Bat Outta Hell I’ll Be Gone Gone Gone.
Hippo Brigade saysAugust 10, 2010 at 1:45 pm
If you don’t dance, then you’re no friend of mine.
kerry saysAugust 10, 2010 at 2:20 pm
“Margaritaville”…because deep down inside everyone wants to be Jimmy Buffett.
BossysMom saysAugust 10, 2010 at 2:28 pm
if you string all these words together one hellova song.
Manic Mommy saysAugust 10, 2010 at 3:29 pm
Only drunk enough once – Summer Lovin’ with most of office.
Alison saysAugust 10, 2010 at 3:53 pm
Never have Karoaked. Never will. Never, never, never, never, never.
Amy saysAugust 10, 2010 at 4:20 pm
My husband and I have a no-karaoke pact, so nothing.
Reeb saysAugust 10, 2010 at 4:46 pm
This is timely. Still karaoke virgin but partay this weekend!
And I may remain karaoke virgin after the weekend too.
Reeb saysAugust 10, 2010 at 4:47 pm
[Why do we worry about our kids’ songs, and what they’re singing? Look at these skanky lyrics from our youth-hoods!]
Muskrat saysAugust 10, 2010 at 5:09 pm
Bossy mouths the words to Milli Vanilli; Muskrat provides vocals.
Lauren saysAugust 10, 2010 at 5:09 pm
It’s best when you’re in Japan and you find a place that has private karaoke rooms for 6-8 people so you don’t have to sing in front of the whole bar. I’ve heard New York has places like this, too. We should go!
Suzi saysAugust 10, 2010 at 5:12 pm
Am amazed at all the singers in Bossy’s posse. Trying to picture them all together at a karaoke bar somewhere.
Fighting over who goes next. Duets, trios, choruses.
rebekah saysAugust 10, 2010 at 5:19 pm
Sing “Old Black Water”: everybody will always – ALWAYS – join in.
Danielle saysAugust 10, 2010 at 6:03 pm
Who doesn’t love Smells Like Teen Spirit. Reverb mike helps.
L saysAugust 10, 2010 at 6:38 pm
Did you see the movie My Best Friends Wedding? The part when Cameron Diaz was singing. Compared to me, she can sing. That is why I don’t sing.
Chesapeake Bay Woman saysAugust 10, 2010 at 7:06 pm
If you can keep from laughing, Rappers Delight is perfect.
Chesapeake Bay Woman saysAugust 10, 2010 at 7:09 pm
Hotel, motel, Holiday Inn…words are tricky; notes are doable.
Chesapeake Bay Woman saysAugust 10, 2010 at 7:13 pm
Words are also hilarious…”and the chicken tastes like wood.”
Mary from California saysAugust 10, 2010 at 7:17 pm
…big Cadillac, gangsta white walls, TV antenna in the back
Jean saysAugust 10, 2010 at 7:26 pm
I won’t do karaoke again. I Will Survive killed me.
ruth saysAugust 10, 2010 at 7:32 pm
OMGosh so many replies! Chain Chain Chain and anything ARETHA! If it’s good enuff for Murphy Brown Etc.
Amber saysAugust 10, 2010 at 7:57 pm
My favorite DJ keeps track of all of her regular singers and their selections in a special notebook so we never have to flip through the book unless we want to try something different. My usual choices are Jesse James (Cher), Alone (Heart), Jolene (Dolly Parton), or My Immortal (Evanescence).
leslie saysAugust 10, 2010 at 8:48 pm
You could not pay me enough to sing anything karaoke.
Kelly saysAugust 10, 2010 at 9:06 pm
Summer Nights from Grease with some random poor drunk girl
Lori in MN saysAugust 10, 2010 at 9:21 pm
“What’s going on” by Four Non Blondes…singing then screaming!
Cupcake Murphy saysAugust 10, 2010 at 9:44 pm
I only know my NON preordained tune: Go Ask Alice
km saysAugust 10, 2010 at 9:56 pm
won case of beer long ago for “sweet child o’mine”.
Chrissy saysAugust 11, 2010 at 12:44 am
Anything from “Nightman Cometh” episode of It’s Always Sunny In…
Em saysAugust 11, 2010 at 12:53 am
I fall to pieces or I go walking after midnight
Bonnie saysAugust 11, 2010 at 1:53 am
D-I-V-O-R-C-E especially when drunk.
Tracy saysAugust 11, 2010 at 7:01 am
If I had a million dollars. By the Barenaked Ladies
Jami saysAugust 11, 2010 at 10:54 am
Injunctions by my family prevent me from singing in public.
mel saysAugust 11, 2010 at 11:06 am
Living on a Prayer. The crown always joins in.
Jenn @ Juggling LIfe saysAugust 11, 2010 at 2:31 pm
There is not enough alcohol in the world (for me or the audience) for me to sing karaoke. I know I’m over 10 words, but sometime the truth just needs more words.
Steve saysAugust 12, 2010 at 4:21 pm
Just bought my first Karaoke machine….gotta go practice…now
(10 words exactly- minus parenthesis, of course)
Steve saysAugust 12, 2010 at 4:39 pm
I think I mastered Eve of Destruction. Perfect for Karaoke!
Doug saysAugust 12, 2010 at 5:12 pm
I would get arrested if I EVER sang in public.
Doug saysAugust 12, 2010 at 5:13 pm
But when alone in my truck: “Won’t Get Fooled Again.”
Jen saysAugust 18, 2010 at 11:46 am
Harper Valley PTA standard, but did One Week once – fun!