- A 2,000 square foot loft in Chelsea
- One-year membership to eHarmony
- Case of Crest Whitestrips
- The Hug Me Boyfriend Pillow
- Gym membership
- Scotch-of-the-Month club
- Therapy vouchers
- A property assessment
- Botox
- Waterproof mascara
- Subscription to Backpacker magazine. May substitute Canoe & Kayak, Snowboarder, or Boating World
- Prescription for Prozac. May substitute Lexapro, Zoloft, or Wellbutrin
WebSavvyMom says
December 13, 2010 at 11:45 am–>That pillow is a little creepy to me.
Deb Rox says
December 13, 2010 at 11:49 amWell shoot, I already got you an audition for The Bachelorette and a pool boy. If I had only known you would have preferred the Chelsea flat!
RuthWells says
December 13, 2010 at 11:53 amYou can come to our house for Scotch-of-the-Month!
Julie @ The Mom Slant says
December 13, 2010 at 12:00 pmI’ll take the Chelsea loft, thanks. I might even get undivorced for it.
Kate says
December 13, 2010 at 12:06 pmI think it would take the Scotch of the Month Club to make the Boyfriend Pillow seem like a good idea. FYI.
Shelley says
December 13, 2010 at 12:06 pmLexapro rocks. I agree, the pillow is a bit creepy. Maybe it would be better if it had two arms?
KathyB says
December 13, 2010 at 12:20 pmLofts creep me out, flashbacks from old movies.
I’ve got birds giving me evil looks. Five or so inches of new snow on the ground. Time to go fill the feeders. No bright ideas for Undivorced presents.
Maybe crank up George Harrison – All Things Shall Pass. George Harrison fantasy not a bad one. But, my preferred mantra is “this too shall pass.”
KathyB says
December 13, 2010 at 12:24 pmTherapy is a very good idea, seriously. Good place to rant and spew without collateral damage.
amy says
December 13, 2010 at 12:46 pmbossy, you already look fabulous, no need for gym memberships or whitening strips. so glad you got to hang out in nyc with ree; it’s so cool that you’re friends with one another. hope things perk up all around, holidays are hard when undivorcing.
Lori says
December 13, 2010 at 1:01 pmThis utter cry baby uses clear mascara. (which I should probably trade in for the prozac, now that I think about it}
meleah rebeccah says
December 13, 2010 at 1:10 pmI’d love some Botox and Waterproof mascara. But please keep that creepy pillow far away from me!
Z. Mulls says
December 13, 2010 at 1:15 pmMy wife upthread must have meant the *bourbon*-of-the-month club. Even we not-undivorced-yet couples can’t afford good scotch anymore.
Alison says
December 13, 2010 at 1:16 pmEyelash dye! It’s perfect, easy, inexpensive and lasts two months!
V. says
December 13, 2010 at 1:28 pmDon’t forget the Sierra Club membership so you get a list of all the local hiking clubs. Oh! And a woodworking class at the local University Extension program.
The Domestic Goddess says
December 13, 2010 at 2:24 pmThat pillow. Oh. my. Heck.
Steve says
December 13, 2010 at 2:35 pmLooks like you forgot to add a plane ticket to CA to hang out with Steve!
La Suzette says
December 13, 2010 at 2:45 pmPeople thought I was weird to have my divorce finalized on New Year’s Eve, but it was great to start the new year with an overnight loss of 200 pounds. Good luck with the undivorce, Bossy!
Angela@beggingtheanswer says
December 13, 2010 at 3:46 pmScotch-of-the-month club? Sign me up!
Also, that disembodied arm pillow is creepy. It was probably designed by serial killers.
Seriously, if you and your doctor think you need them for a while, prozac and therapy will rock your world.
tracy says
December 13, 2010 at 3:53 pmI am not even undivorced, and most of those are on my list too!
Scottsdale Girl says
December 13, 2010 at 4:30 pmAnd lots of girls time with wine! (hugs)
jp says
December 13, 2010 at 7:07 pmJust bought Johnny Walker Blue for a song……….can send you the coupon!
Careful w/ that drug stuff, gets in the way of some of the good feelings…..(ahem)
rory says
December 13, 2010 at 10:21 pmDo you hold hands with that pillow?
Jenn @ Juggling LIfe says
December 13, 2010 at 11:32 pmI’m glad other people know what to say, I don’t have anything except “try to keep your chin up.”
David Meanix says
December 14, 2010 at 2:26 amHey hey hey- I’ll be your boyfriend pillow!
Free on 18th for party in Phillytown?
Leaf Probably says
December 14, 2010 at 5:57 amOh…. Well… So I should send the troupe of male strippers back?? That’s a pity, they’d already oiled up, and strapped themselves into their leather thongs…
JaneK says
December 14, 2010 at 11:28 amsign me up for the same list as I am now officially part of the club….except things aren’t as friendly with us as it sounds like they are with you…..
don’t think the boyfriend pillow is all the creepy really; but the oiled up male strippers in leather thongs…..ewwwww
joeinvegas says
December 14, 2010 at 1:05 pmSkip the teeth whitening strips , they make people’s teeth glow in the dark. One woman here has a dark tan and glowing teeth and looks a little strange, but if I remember correctly New Yorkers are kind of pale anyway so the bright teeth might blend in. But skip them
Skip the botox too, we like you the way you are (generically and specifically)
snowwhite says
December 14, 2010 at 2:06 pmWish your commet page had “like” buttons next to the comments…so many of them made me laugh out loud!
How about adding a monthly Spa/Massage to the list, you deserve it!
foolery says
December 14, 2010 at 3:14 pmAnd here I am holding a gift-wrapped Snuggie. Sorry.
Reeb says
December 14, 2010 at 3:45 pmDoesn’t sound that UNdivorced to me. hang in there.
runnergirl says
December 14, 2010 at 9:01 pmI can think of a few people I’d love to get the boyfriend pillow for (and hoping none of those people buys it for me!!!)
Dara says
December 15, 2010 at 5:56 amOh, Bossy….I just wanna give you a hug.
Darcie says
December 15, 2010 at 8:19 amOh, sweet Bossy. I wish you every good thing.
MOV says
December 15, 2010 at 4:27 pmI always get to the party late. Undivorced? Boyfriend arm pillow? (Although, judging by the look of that boyfriend arm pillow, my mom might have liked him better than the guy I did marry. Sigh.)
I am enjoying your blog!
http://mothersofbrothersblog.blogspot.com
MOV
ruth says
December 15, 2010 at 5:26 pmHope you are recovering swiftly and back to us soon… after all to have an obligation (?) to the council of Bossy.
Ruth
Lisa says
December 15, 2010 at 6:43 pmThese gifts are all wrong! You need to spend time alone and get to know yourself better and figure out what went wrong so you don’t make the same mistakes again. Things like bubble bath stuff and bath pillows and self help books. Lots of wine and nights out with the girls. Maybe take some yoga classes or college classes.
amanda says
December 15, 2010 at 10:01 pmHow could you leave ” A new multi-feature rechargeable personal electronic friend” off the list???!!!!
Hmmm…you must already have a good one!
GrandeMocha says
December 16, 2010 at 8:13 amMerry Christmas!
Lynn @ Walking With Scissors says
December 16, 2010 at 2:42 pmThat boyfriend pillow looks a little too friendly. Its hand is in perfect “grab and squeeze” position.
Merry Christmas, Bossy. I hope things get better for you soon. ((Hugs))
Beth says
December 18, 2010 at 1:14 pmNote to Lisa #36: Bossy is funny, not earnest. Well, sometimes earnest. But mostly dry and ironic and funny. Maybe read a little David Sedaris to get a feel for it? Or O Magazine to get a feel for what it’s not?