On Saturday Bossy went on a bus to New York City with her friend Amy because Amy gets paid to chaperone the trip and because Amy secures Bossy’s ticket for free. And because it’s been a whole year since the last time.
While Amy busied herself with a clipboard up and down the bus aisle, Bossy
danced for her supper snapped a photo of the passengers:
Also while Amy busied herself with a clipboard up and down the bus aisle, Bossy dispensed the Official Bus Trip Snack:
During the journey, Bossy and her friend Amy
talked until their lips fell off exchanged tales of financial woe—and before you could count to Whitey Bossy and Amy were vowing not to spend even one dime in New York. To cement the deal, Bossy took a photo of the Dimes they were not going to spend:
Within no time the bus was dropping everyone off in Midtown. The first financial indiscretion went like this:
Because Bossy and her friend Amy ran out of time halfway to the Cream Puff Museum their previous trip to New York, they decided this time they would begin their day there. And so they walked one hundred blocks up Broadway to pose for this photo enjoying their morning Cream Puffs:
Pinky-swearing to return to the Cream Puffs later in the day, Bossy and her friend Amy went in search of a more time-appropriate activity:
Bossy and her friend Amy decided they might need a little food to wash down their booze, and so they ordered something to share off of the Indian menu:
But it wasn’t a total loss, because while still enjoying her
pathogenic bacteria lunch, Bossy’s friend Amy enjoyed a Celebrity Sighting! Out the restaurant’s front window! Directly on the other side of the glass!
Next Bossy went on a mission for fingerless gloves. Unbeknownst to her friend Amy, Bossy has very stringent standards for fingerless gloves. For instance, they have to be fingerless:
Two street vendors later, Bossy fell in love with a pair with a very simplistic design:
Next Bossy and her friend Amy got in a huge debate over taxis—namely which type of taxi they prefer. Bossy’s friend Amy prefers the new psychedelic cabs:
While Bossy remains Old School:
For the entire duration of the taxi debate Bossy and her friend Amy were busy walking from the Upper West Side back to Midtown, and Bossy has this to report about fingerless gloves: Your fingers freeze.
Luckily there were many interesting sights to distract Bossy from her amputated fingers. Like these cute Manhattan dogs:
All that walking and hypothermia sure builds up an appetite. And for those keeping score at home you may have noticed Bossy and her friend Amy inadvertently left the Cream Puff neighborhood without Cream Puffs. Lucky thing Bossy and her friend Amy asked this distinguished gentleman if he could suggest a nice restaurant nearby:
Once inside the recommended restaurant, Bossy used the bathroom while her friend Amy
ate the breadbasket drank an entire glass of water. It was at this point they realized everything on the menu cost $30. The appetizer menu. And so Bossy and her friend Amy grabbed at their scarves and gloves and keys and purses and jackets and ran out the front door. The shock of those prices! Do you remember how Mom used to warn that if you crossed your eyes they would become stuck in that position forever?
After walking another one hundred blocks, Bossy and her friend Amy finally settled on a restaurant where they could drink the feeling back into the tips of their noses:
And then sadly it was time to get back on the bus toward Suburbville. But it sure was a great day, and Bossy wants to point out that she was exceedingly proud that she did not spend one dime in New York! $47.25, maybe—but not one dime.