In approximately one week Bossy will undergo a surgical procedure, and so yesterday she had a pre-operative appointment with her doctor. During her office visit, Bossy was directed to cease several things which could interfere with the surgery or recovery process.
- Stop smoking. No problem, Bossy doesn’t smoke!
- Discontinue all homeopathic herbs. No problem, Bossy doesn’t smoke homeopathic herbs!
- Stop taking the baby aspirin you take once a day because you are old as a grandmother. Will do. Check.
- No alcohol especially red wine. Um, yeah, sure, no problem, problem, uh.
As it turns out, red wine is a natural blood thinner, where natural equals people step on fermented grapes and throw them in a bottle with sulfites.
So for the next two-hundred-and-sixteen hours, Bossy can’t drink her red wine. This is no problem, really, since there are so many other things Bossy can do with her time.
For example, Bossy can breathe lots of air. Bossy can also go to bed early, for instance at half past nine in the morning.
Or perhaps Bossy can sit around and contemplate the other counterintuitive things she learned about the mechanics of a body — for instance did you know that many things like garlic boost the immune system, but that one doesn’t always want a boosted immune system before undergoing an operation, because an overambitious immune system leads to more inflammation.
Oh, look at that, it’s taken Bossy fifteen minutes to write this post! That means she only has two-hundred-and-fifteen hours and forty-five minutes left to kill!