You are looking at a protein shake prepared for Bossy by Bossy’s friend Alwyn when Bossy was visiting Alwyn in Southern California this past October.
Bossy was all about this protein shake and how she was going to have it every day of her life, and maybe even more than once a day, because it is so tasty and so healthy. The problem was, it is also other so things, including so difficult to round up all of the ingredients — which added up are so pricey — since Bossy never steps foot in any health food stores, rendering this protein shake so elusive.
But Bossy plans to change all of that and more! As soon as she can lift her head from this sofa pillow and admit the holiday season is over. And speaking of the holiday season, if you are what you eat than Bossy is dippy.
But where was Bossy? Oh yes, she was talking about Bossy’s friend Alwyn:
And while on the subject of Alwyn who used to live in York, you really must read about the time Bossy and Bossy’s gay Vuboq and Alwyn picked up a guy at Independence Hall. And Bossy knows what you’re thinking! You’re thinking you want to learn how to pick up a guy at Independence Hall. That’s why we’re all so happy it’s a tutorial post! Really, Bossy will wait right here while you read about that inspired afternoon, where inspired equals drunken.
But where was Bossy? Oh yes, she was talking about Bossy’s friend Alwyn, and how every morning of Bossy’s visit to Southern California, Bossy was greeted with a protein shake because that’s the kind of friend Alwyn is! Also Bossy may not have ever left the comfortable guest bed without it.
But first let Bossy apologize if any of this recipe is unclear, since Bossy is utilizing the notes she took back in October — which considering Bossy’s memory loss, is akin to translating the Magna Carta after 796 years.
Shall we?
In a blender, pour Almond Unswetened original milk – 8 oz, even though Bossy is pretty certain she meant unsweetened almond milk, 8 oz:
Next: Organic Almond butter heaping tablespoon. You Tarzan, me Bossy:
And then you add approximately a half cup of frozen mango or peach or whatever — but Alwyn, like Bossy, doesn’t enjoy the frozen shake vibe, so Alwyn suggests nuking the frozen stuff until it’s cold but not hard:
And here begins the part of the recipe which leaves us all feeling like chemists in our meth labs! What do you mean Bossy’s the only one?
Add a couple of tablespoons of Magma Plus Green Food:
And then a half-teaspoon of cardamann, even though Bossy is pretty certain she meant cardamom:
Next add a tblspoon of flax oil. Isn’t it a sad state of affairs when you’re so busy lounging in Southern California you can’t be bothered to add vowels to your recipe measurements?
And then add a teaspoon of Blue Agave Sweetener:
Finally, add a tablespoon of Psyllium Husks Powder, which is a coincidence since you have to add this ingredient last because it has a tendency to bulk up in fluid!
Blend well and enjoy! Or, wait, maybe this recipe was for two protein shakes? Well, use these proportions the very next time a blogger has come to convalesce at your house!
Editor’s note: There’s an editor?
Editor’s note number two: After a consultation with Alwyn, where consultation equals text message, turns out this recipe is for one shake after all. Delish!
Judy says
January 3, 2011 at 2:25 pmIt does sound healthy, but what does it taste like? Your council is on board if it tastes like one of the following:
-wine
-almond sugar cookies
Dara says
January 3, 2011 at 2:26 pmsounds yummy….also York vs. So Cal? gah, no contest!
Bean says
January 3, 2011 at 2:53 pmI make a very similar shake — except natural peanut butter in place of almond butter, and I have never used cardamom nor magma plus. I also add bananas, berries, and Bragg’s apple cider vinegar. Oh, plus wheat germ and raw oat bran!
Wendy says
January 3, 2011 at 3:00 pmi’m a smoothie-aholic (which is less fun than it sounds). i usually add fresh spinach for greenery + some liquid vitamins to mine but cardamon? gotta try that!
goblinboxi says
January 3, 2011 at 3:16 pmI love cardamom. I don’t do smoothies. (I have texture issues. But at least this one doesn’t have a banana in it.)
vuboq says
January 3, 2011 at 3:44 pmYum. Make me one … only leave out all the healthy stuff and replace it with booze, please. I bet it would be delicious with vodka.
vuboq says
January 3, 2011 at 3:45 pmOh, and p.s. MISS YOU ALWYN!!!!!
Lori says
January 3, 2011 at 4:35 pmJust got a blender for Christmas, looks like I have me a little mission! Although, I agree that trying to explain this recipe to any one of my ancestors would probably have rendered me an orphan.
Coach Morales says
January 3, 2011 at 5:32 pmI don’t think I can even buy those things in Oklahoma!
Aimee says
January 3, 2011 at 5:43 pmsound great as I sit on my rapidly growing ars eating chocolate, cookies, and cheese puffs!
Golden says
January 3, 2011 at 5:47 pmcardamon, huh? That’s a new one. I’ll have to try that.
Melissa says
January 3, 2011 at 5:51 pmI will have to try this. It sounds good. I have a GNC very nearby. Cardamom though… it’s very expensive (to me, anyways). $11 for a tiny can!
Olivia says
January 3, 2011 at 6:28 pmUmmm . . . thanks for the recipe but think I’ll stick to the wine.
Amanda says
January 3, 2011 at 7:10 pmOh, she’s confusing Cardamon with the Cardamanns… a very nice SOCA Jewish family!
KathyB says
January 3, 2011 at 8:21 pmI would try it if I were visiting my friend in SOCAL and was handed it already made, after my almost quart of coffee.
Suzi says
January 3, 2011 at 8:22 pmPsillium is what is in Metamucil. Does this shake have a side benefit?
I thought magma was the earth’s chewy center.
Em says
January 3, 2011 at 8:57 pmI love cardamom, delicious. I add it to my smoothies at times. Also? You can consider adding something like cinnamon. That can be yummy too. Also, Bossy? You can add a handful of spinach and you won’t even taste it, promise! But you’ll be drinking a serving of spinach.
(I make a lot of blender drinks, can you tell?)
Also, I didn’t even bother suggesting parsley because that does change the taste a little.
I’m also wondering if we’re splitting up between coasts here. I’m on the west coast. We definitely do smoothies out here.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
January 3, 2011 at 9:11 pmOh, this is a shake all right. With all that fiber and psyllium huskiness, I’m guessing it’s closer to a protein quake– of gastronomic proportions.
GrandeMocha says
January 3, 2011 at 9:21 pmI agree with vuboq! I like fruity, frozen drinks with just enough alcohol. Maybe add an umbrella. A lounge chair in the sun too. A hot cabanna boy?
ruth says
January 3, 2011 at 9:24 pmI hate to state this but ewww ewww ewww! So sorry Bossy; this makes me I agree with Vuboq… pass the vodka please… and while I am on the subject does anyone know of a Tom Collins Bloody Mary?
Susan/BabyFavorite says
January 3, 2011 at 10:22 pmUm, wait…I couldn’t get past the no microwave thing….
Darcie says
January 3, 2011 at 10:57 pmApparently, some of Bossy’s readers also need to be sharing their nutrition-packed drink recipes with Bossy’s other readers.
Darcie needs to cut the carbs and increase the protein and fiber. This sounds like it might be worth a try!
rory says
January 3, 2011 at 11:05 pmBlenders are for something other than marguerites?
Who knew?
Em says
January 4, 2011 at 2:20 amDarcie just do a search on green drink recipes and you’ll be overwhelmed. But feel free to email me too and I’ll give you recipes I use, if you’d like.
Meghan says
January 4, 2011 at 10:33 amOoo…I get to play Alchemist and gatherer. Sounds exciting!
Beth says
January 4, 2011 at 10:37 amI’m with #21. Wha? No microwave? How do you thaw out frozen brownies?
dawny dee says
January 4, 2011 at 11:05 ambossy is such a giver, always sharing jewels like this one. her website should qualify as a public service announcement.
but i am still too afraid to attempt this at home. maybe if i use the blender first to make the margarita and THEN take on the smoothie, i’d be ok.
kathleen says
January 4, 2011 at 11:15 amNo microwave? Did buying all that healthy stuff and the Depends you need after drinking the smoothies make Bossy pawn it?
Teeny Tina says
January 4, 2011 at 12:55 pmI’m also a spinach adder to smoothieser… (?) Organic baby spinach. That kinda makes things turn brown though if you have a red (strawberry/banana) base, so then I add blueberries and make it all purply passion-like. Mmmmm.
Teeny Tina says
January 4, 2011 at 12:57 pmI don’t have a microwave either. Ditched it in ’06. Real cooked food tastes so much better! Got me a kickbutt Oster toaster/convection oven in its place, highly recommend! I figure if microwaved blood kills transfusionees, then I won’t want microwaved food either!
Doug says
January 4, 2011 at 7:49 pmThis replaces my egg nog French toast in the AM?
Leaf Probably says
January 5, 2011 at 12:21 amYum! Except I have exactly none of that in my pantry. I do have one slightly brown banana, a tub of spirulina, and some chunky milk. (Not the good chunky.)
(I don’t think there’s ever a good chunky.)
This is why you should always clear out your fridge before you go on holiday for two weeks.
Cupcake Murphy says
January 5, 2011 at 12:45 amAt first I was all, YUM! and then I was all, Super WHAT? and then I was all Help Me.
alwyn says
January 5, 2011 at 1:09 pmChef’s note: I haven’t been using the microwave lately. Putting the frozen fruit in a strainer and running it under warm water works just as well.
leslie (crookedstamper) says
January 5, 2011 at 9:40 pm1. I LOVE ALMOND MILK.
2. York, PA, is like NEXT DOOR to me, where “next door” is within 2 hours’ drive.
3. What’s with the tape arrows? Is it a secret code and I’m not “with it”?
4. Would you like my microwave? Or are they against your religion?
5. Wendy – spinach? seriously?
6. Chesapeake Bay Woman – I hear you on the “gastronomic proportions” thing. Hmmm ….
Gramps says
January 7, 2011 at 2:23 pmYour council is true to you—prefer the booze