You are looking at a protein shake prepared for Bossy by Bossy’s friend Alwyn when Bossy was visiting Alwyn in Southern California this past October.
Bossy was all about this protein shake and how she was going to have it every day of her life, and maybe even more than once a day, because it is so tasty and so healthy. The problem was, it is also other so things, including so difficult to round up all of the ingredients — which added up are so pricey — since Bossy never steps foot in any health food stores, rendering this protein shake so elusive.
But Bossy plans to change all of that and more! As soon as she can lift her head from this sofa pillow and admit the holiday season is over. And speaking of the holiday season, if you are what you eat than Bossy is dippy.
But where was Bossy? Oh yes, she was talking about Bossy’s friend Alwyn:
And while on the subject of Alwyn who used to live in York, you really must read about the time Bossy and Bossy’s gay Vuboq and Alwyn picked up a guy at Independence Hall. And Bossy knows what you’re thinking! You’re thinking you want to learn how to pick up a guy at Independence Hall. That’s why we’re all so happy it’s a tutorial post! Really, Bossy will wait right here while you read about that inspired afternoon, where inspired equals drunken.
But where was Bossy? Oh yes, she was talking about Bossy’s friend Alwyn, and how every morning of Bossy’s visit to Southern California, Bossy was greeted with a protein shake because that’s the kind of friend Alwyn is! Also Bossy may not have ever left the comfortable guest bed without it.
But first let Bossy apologize if any of this recipe is unclear, since Bossy is utilizing the notes she took back in October — which considering Bossy’s memory loss, is akin to translating the Magna Carta after 796 years.
In a blender, pour Almond Unswetened original milk – 8 oz, even though Bossy is pretty certain she meant unsweetened almond milk, 8 oz:
Next: Organic Almond butter heaping tablespoon. You Tarzan, me Bossy:
And then you add approximately a half cup of frozen mango or peach or whatever — but Alwyn, like Bossy, doesn’t enjoy the frozen shake vibe, so Alwyn suggests nuking the frozen stuff until it’s cold but not hard:
And here begins the part of the recipe which leaves us all feeling like chemists in our meth labs! What do you mean Bossy’s the only one?
Add a couple of tablespoons of Magma Plus Green Food:
And then a half-teaspoon of cardamann, even though Bossy is pretty certain she meant cardamom:
Next add a tblspoon of flax oil. Isn’t it a sad state of affairs when you’re so busy lounging in Southern California you can’t be bothered to add vowels to your recipe measurements?
And then add a teaspoon of Blue Agave Sweetener:
Finally, add a tablespoon of Psyllium Husks Powder, which is a coincidence since you have to add this ingredient last because it has a tendency to bulk up in fluid!
Blend well and enjoy! Or, wait, maybe this recipe was for two protein shakes? Well, use these proportions the very next time a blogger has come to convalesce at your house!
Editor’s note: There’s an editor?
Editor’s note number two: After a consultation with Alwyn, where consultation equals text message, turns out this recipe is for one shake after all. Delish!