Here’s everything Bossy knows about the Royal Wedding. Bossy is fifteen and she watches as the carriage delivers the princess-to-be across town into the arms of the manager of The Campus Disco:
But seriously. The groom of the current royal wedding is the son of Princess Diana, even though for some reason the other day Bossy and Bossy’s daughter couldn’t remember his name if their lives depended on it — and also the other day Bossy’s friend Amy said she was watching a mini-documentary about the young couple, but Bossy thought her friend Amy referred to them as Jon and Kate, and so Bossy thought her friend Amy was watching a show about The Gosselins.
But anyway. The groom. It’s Prince William. The son of Princess Diana.
Princess Diana was the sweetheart of many, but the poor dear was kind of a mess, until she got divorced, at which point she became less of a mess, but then it was too late. And then there’s him:
It’s the groom’s father, Prince Charles. He seems like a good chap. It’s not his fault he was in love with a married woman as a married man. But according to royal custom, Prince Charles wasn’t allowed to marry his married woman. They weren’t ever never ever allowed to marry. And then they were allowed to marry!
What else does Bossy know, you ask? Well. There was something about polo, something about men in kilts, and something about an aging queen.
And meanwhile, there’s a girl. A young bride. Bossy isn’t sure, but she thinks maybe she’s Elizabeth Hurley.
And they all live happily ever after. The end.
Debby saysApril 28, 2011 at 9:48 pm
Alarm set for 3 am. Can’t wait!
Heide saysApril 28, 2011 at 10:20 pm
I hope they live happily ever after.
feefifoto saysApril 28, 2011 at 10:36 pm
Ever noticed how you can recognise British men (not the British spelling of “recognize”) by the way they show all their teeth when they grimace – er- smile? And is it my imagination or does Prince Chuck look just about as happy at his second wedding as he did at his first?
vuboq saysApril 28, 2011 at 10:43 pm
(A) I love how everyone is all “I have to wake up early to see the wedding” and I am all “that is what time i have to get up every.freaking.day.” bah.
(B) I totally covet Camilla’s hat in that photo. I wonder if I can borrow it for my Grand Jury appearance on Monday?
Tootsie Farklepants saysApril 28, 2011 at 11:04 pm
I’m recording and then I’m not turning on the tv or going anywhere near an internet until I can sit down and watch it with me mum on Saturday morning for our Royal Wedding brunch.
rory saysApril 28, 2011 at 11:07 pm
I’d much rather marry Elizabeth Hurley, givin’ half a chance.
Jenn @ Juggling LIfe saysApril 28, 2011 at 11:18 pm
Kate’s a cute girl and all, but she’s no Elizabeth Hurley. Which, given EH’s record with men, is probably a good thing.
Cover by Cover saysApril 28, 2011 at 11:36 pm
Ya, I was invited, but i didnt want it conflict with anything else in my life. Like……..anything.
amy saysApril 28, 2011 at 11:46 pm
As a Canadian we are being bombarded with the WEDDING OF THE CENTURY!
Charles could not marry a divorced woman until the Queen Mother and Margaret died. The Queen Mum’s life changed forever when her BIL abdicated as he could not marry a divorced woman. She and her hubby had no desire to be Kind and Queen. Ditto for Margaret (except she wanted to marry a divorced man and was told no).
Once they were gone the Queen could do anything she liked and approved the marriage. I am sure Diana had a good roll in the grave over that one.
No, Kate is no EH but I am looking forward to seeing how this royal marriage works out… The Royal Family and their marriages are a real life soap opera.
Cupcake Murphy saysApril 29, 2011 at 12:12 am
Prince Charles and Camilla love each other only because they both have hideous, yellow, hobo teeth.
GrandeMocha saysApril 29, 2011 at 2:18 am
I can’t Wait! I want to see the dress.
Dobes saysApril 29, 2011 at 3:50 am
#10, it’s gotta be something in the water over here in Europe, and also the reason Europeans don’t smile. I was a smiley white-toothed American ’til I moved over here 8 years ago, drank the water, and now my teeth are the same shabby yellow as everyone else’s. That depresses me, so I keep ’em covered with my lips, and when I visit the States everyone says, “You’ve become so EUROPEAN!”
On the bright side, my teeth are in their cleanest, best shape ever – excellent dental work can be had in Central Europe practically for free!!
Jean saysApril 29, 2011 at 7:59 am
Bossy, NO WAY does Camilla look younger than YOU!! Are you still feverish??
Gail K. saysApril 29, 2011 at 8:20 am
But more importantly, will “Barbie The-ater” be putting on a production of “THE WEDDING OF THE CENTURY?” I can’t wait for headless Ken to portray Prince Phillip.
KathyB saysApril 29, 2011 at 9:28 am
I asked one of my cats if he drank tea and ate crumpets at four this morning. Mum is the word.
BBC America seems to be on some kind of event loop. So it looks like the ceremony has not happened yet.
Luke and Laura were royalty. I remember her visiting Richard Simmons’ show and he played “the theme from Laura’s rape” as she walked in. Cracked her up.
Snow saysApril 29, 2011 at 9:53 am
Celebrating my British heritage on this day….wondering what life would have been if my family had not immigrated to the States……I could have been a Princess!!! lol
Birdbrain saysApril 29, 2011 at 1:21 pm
Considering St. Andrew’s as a college choice for my daughter, where else can a cute California girl meet a nice prince?
joeinvegas saysApril 29, 2011 at 1:58 pm
I think you look more like Elizabeth Hurley than Camilla
Marinka saysApril 29, 2011 at 6:42 pm
I think Laura and Diana had a similar fate. Almost.
(And I like Camilla)
Mrs. Tuna saysApril 30, 2011 at 6:35 pm
God save the queen!
Linda saysMay 1, 2011 at 11:18 am
Spot On! Some all-encompassing web-reporting agency should have sent you to London to cover the story in person!
Craftwhack saysMay 1, 2011 at 11:08 pm
I’m digging your beautiful rendition of the young, happy couple.
the muskrat saysMay 2, 2011 at 8:55 am
i didn’t watch it, because i have a penis.
foolery saysMay 2, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Okay, LAUGHING at #23. I have no excuse for not watching the wedding or anything connected to it, so I’ll pony up on the muskrat’s brilliant comment:
“I didn’t watch it, because muskrat has a penis.”
helenel saysMay 2, 2011 at 4:14 pm
I, too, have always loved Camilla’s hat from her wedding. It’s a lovely color and isn’t too crazy.
Mr Farty saysMay 3, 2011 at 6:47 pm
Is BOSSY secretly Jane Seymour? It’s as if you were right there in Westminster Abbey.