This portrait, taken of Bossy and her daughter last weekend, got Bossy thinking about family resemblance — which makes all kinds of sense since this post is about eyebrows.
Namely, Bossy was looking at her daughter’s natural eyebrows and remembering that was the way Bossy’s eyebrows used to look before Bossy began plucking them. This made Bossy curious about how her eyebrows would look if she stopped plucking them:
And this, dear and most esteemed patient council, got Bossy thinking about eyebrows throughout history.
You see, in the beginning, there was Gah:
And Gah plucked his eyebrows in the shape of an arch, an idea Gah stole from Jack Nicholson, who was created in Gah’s image, so it’s not really like stealing.
And then there was Adam and Eve:
Adam, who Gah created in the image of Radiohead, preferred the flat eyebrow look which best suited his sadsack face. Meanwhile, Eve plucked her brows and maybe even bleached them to within an inch of her life. The life she would spend banished from the garden, having babies.
After Adam and Eve, came her:
It’s Brooke Shields, and her method of eyebrow upkeep was as follows: pluck until they are the general shape of The Rhine.
Next we have him:
And, yeah, hello Monday, that pretty much brings us up to date!