Our story begins last month when Bossy needed a bikini to take on her Vermont camping trip because common wisdom dictates that a one-piece bathing suit dressed as a ball gown is too cumbersome when you’re pooing outside for ten days.
With Bossy so far?
So Bossy purchased the following bikini as separates at an exclusive local couture boutique named Target:
But the problem with Bossy’s bikini is that a bikini can take quite a beating when one is sitting on lake rocks and splintery benches for ten days. Not to mention applying a mist sunblock numerous times a day which yellowed the white stripes of the bikini top.
Long story short — and Bossy realizes it’s already too late for that — Bossy decided to buy a duplicate bikini so she could have it for next year.
Although it was still early August, a visit to Bossy’s exclusive local couture boutique named Target revealed that their August inventory favors items more seasonal than bathing suits, such as Christmas ornaments. And so Bossy decided to turn to Target online.
Never mind that Target online is sold out of Bossy’s bikini top and bottom — that’s to be expected.
What Bossy didn’t expect were the disturbing Target bathing suit product shots. Don’t get Bossy wrong, a handful of them were perfectly normal:
But then things take a digital turn for the worse. Case in point, the following product shot featuring their Women’s ebony two-piece bottom:
The questions fill Bossy’s head and spill out of her ears. Is this a man? Is that hair on his her legs? Are those flat feet? Is that a tumor on its calf?
Could someone please explain to Bossy what she is looking at? And after that, can you explain to Bossy how to write that question without it ending in a preposition?
Bossy thanks her esteemed council ahead of time.