Ever wonder why alcoholics have red noses?
And while we’re on the subject, if there’s one thing holding Bossy back from the precipice of wino, it’s the thought her nose could become even more, shall we say, prominent.
You see, when we drink, the alcohol absorption begins in the stomach, with the most absorption taking place in the small intestine.
But since alcohol is a liquid, its presence is also easily detected in your blood, urine, the fluid around your brain, and the water vapor in your lungs.
Alcohol in the bloodstream acts as a vasodilator, which means the smooth muscle cells of the blood vessel walls relax and widen.
And when blood vessels widen, the flow of blood is increased. And when the veins are enlarged with increased blood flow, we can see it.
Typically the vasodilation that occurs during alcohol consumption — which is also responsible for cheek flushing — dissipates as the alcohol leaves the bloodstream.
This takes approximately one miserable day longer than you wish it would.
The trouble is, if you’re a chronic drinker — which is Gaelic for alcoholic — the capillaries of the nose never recover and the red bulbous nose condition persists.
Our parents always warned us if you did that thing too much it would stick!
Z. Mulls says
April 5, 2012 at 12:52 pmIs Bossy trying to tell us she has had a recent encounter with a breathalyzer?
Coincidence of the day: Bossy posts a picture of Rudolph, and I am listening to Erin McKeown’s anti-Xmas album, “F**k That”
Jami says
April 5, 2012 at 12:54 pmThank you for this informative lesson. April is Alcohol Awareness Month, and it’s good to see someone doing their part to promote the awareness of alcohol. Just this week, I’ve become very aware that the 2 beers and 2 bottles of wine I have left probably won’t last to the end of April. Or maybe even until Easter.
Domesticus says
April 5, 2012 at 1:04 pmHilarious, as always! Thanks for brightening my day, today and every day you post. I was worried we’d lost you to the job world; glad to see you back in full crazy splendor.
Tina L. says
April 5, 2012 at 2:08 pmRed is a nice color. Concealer is my friend, too.
KathyB says
April 5, 2012 at 2:33 pmI always think of WC Field’s nose when I drink. Do not want to go there. EVER.
Already get red in the face easily, damned genes. Cold temps, allergies, whatever. This is why I spend too much money for Lancome tinted moisturizer, Imanence. Keeps the red at bay. Lasts a very long time too.
Olivia says
April 5, 2012 at 4:10 pmOlivia would like to come up with a snappy comment here but she is too relaxed to think of any . . .
Old Married Lady says
April 6, 2012 at 8:29 amOld Married Lady likes her wine and is investing in a magnifying mirror to keep her eye on the red nose situation.
Allegra says
April 6, 2012 at 7:28 pm…In 10 individuals following a meal enriched by dairy fats, there was a significant increase of oxidative capacity. However, when the meal was taken with red Bordeaux wine, there was a significant increase of plasma anti-oxidative capacity
Drink up, Shriner!
Allegra says
April 6, 2012 at 7:33 pmInteresting tidbit:
The problems of alcoholism were also recognized early and were documented by Pharaoh Rameses II, who complained about heavy alcohol consumption in the Egyptian population.
Maybe that’s why they walked stiff-legged and made pointy buildings.
Gretchen says
April 6, 2012 at 11:53 pmThis was terribly informative. And a little scary. Thank God for concealer.
Her Ace in the Hole says
April 12, 2012 at 5:42 pmNo stick of concealer would ever cover up my stepdad’s nose. It’s a very scary shade of purple. That’ll make you take at least a TWO day break.
Charlie says
April 15, 2012 at 2:23 pmYes, a bulbous red proboscis is indeed a side-effect of overindulgence in the liquid arts. I was well on the way to a cauliflower liver and a varicose nose myself, when I quit drinking. Since Bossy invoked the great WC Fields, I’ll share one of my faves…
Charlie McCarthy: “Would you like a bromo, Mr. Fields?”
WC Fields: “No, I couldn’t stand the noise.”