The other day Bossy went to the store to buy her usual laundry detergent. But there was something different about the way the plastic jug felt in Bossy’s fist:
But Bossy is accustomed to companies changing their packaging, which Bossy loves as much as discovering Ikea’s votive candles occasionally feature a mind-numbing divot.
Once settled home with Bossy’s newly purchased detergent, it didn’t seem to alarm Bossy when the laundry liquid flowed into the washing machine in a uniquely unencumbered way. Sort of like water compared to honey.
Bossy simply settled her dark load into the filling tub and went about her business, where her business equals napping.
Soon it was time to switch that load into the dryer, which Bossy accomplished without inspecting her clothes because Bossy had stuff to do, where stuff to do equals napping. Bossy then stuffed her washing machine with her second load and poured the detergent, which once again didn’t offer the usual syrupy resistance.
It was then Bossy grabbed a look at her laundry detergent label:
That’s right, it was chlorine-free bleach. The first thing Bossy did was panic since she had just poured this bleach directly over her dark clothes. The next thing Bossy did was think: isn’t the whole point of bleach the chlorine?
And so Bossy investigated (so you don’t have to.) Turns out stains are just a collection of chromophores, which are molecules that determine color. Each chromophore molecule absorbs certain wavelengths of light while reflecting others, and it’s this that determines that molecule’s specific ratio of red, yellow, and blue:
So stains are just chromophores. Chromophores and ketchup.
And chlorine-free bleach is an oxygen bleach, meaning it utilizes ingredients such as hydrogen peroxide to lift the stain molecules without affecting the color dyes of the garment.
But all Bossy knows is her favorite tank top remained intact!
Bossy is posting every day in November. Here’s what you missed so far!
- Welcome To The First Day Of The Rest Of November
- Very Little Has Been Said About Hurricane Sandy
- Bossy’s Dane Isn’t Just Great, She’s Voting For Obama
- Daylight Saving Time
- Is That Your Lacrimal Apparatus, Or Are You Just Unhappy To See Me?
- Vote Your Heart
- The Presidency The Sequel
- 5 Great Tips To Save Time This Holiday Season, And One Even Better Tip
- Emergency Friends Defined
- A Sexy Sweaty Dress
KathyB saysNovember 11, 2012 at 6:09 pm
Sometimes the best thing to be is lucky 🙂
bossysMom saysNovember 11, 2012 at 6:10 pm
Next time wash your tank top in collagen.
Twisted Susan saysNovember 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm
I was holding my breath the whole time!
Laundry is scary.
Cy saysNovember 11, 2012 at 10:49 pm
But technically not clean? Since no actual detergent was used?
Julie saysNovember 12, 2012 at 12:16 am
Can I just point out how absolutely marvelous it is to have Bossy around every day again??
CS saysNovember 12, 2012 at 12:28 am
Oy. That made me feel a little ill. I mean, I do a lot of laundry. That was a close one, Bossy.
Cactus petunia saysNovember 12, 2012 at 1:39 am
Jeez, Bossy! I almost had a heart attack over that one!
Olivia saysNovember 12, 2012 at 4:55 pm
Olivia once conducted an experiment to determine the impact of chlorine bleach on a white t-shirt . . . where conducted an experiment means Olivia put the t-shirt and bleach in the laundry sink and forgot about it . . . for a couple of days.
Turns out that chlorine bleach will cause a t-shirt to disintegrate in that time or, at least, eat LARGE holes in it.
Olivia is very scientific . . .
Catherine McP saysNovember 12, 2012 at 6:16 pm
I’m just glad Bossy uses a formaldehyde free detergent, I am highly allergic to it..soooo what I’m saying is I could borrow your clothes and my face and body wont freak out!
p.j. saysNovember 12, 2012 at 10:47 pm
That was an O.M.G. moment there, Bossy!!
My question is why doesn’t Tide Free get simple stains (i. e. some piece of food landed on my shirt) out any more? HUH? Because I am totally tired of the lousy job it is doing.
And now Stain Stick has been improved so much that if I put it on the stains when they happen, the color on the garment fades. Argh. End of laundry rant. p.j. in stl.
Lynda M O saysNovember 13, 2012 at 7:07 pm
Bleach makes MY dark clothes all fuckled up when my husband claims he has to put it in to kill some Germs or some shit like that. I have told him to stop doing my laundry if he keeps bleaching it. Ya know, he stopped after I got another laundry basket and started to separate my clothes out from his. Behavior modification without the M&Ms.
I know, really… how many husbands out there even do the family’s laundry ?~! I am one very fortunate woman and I tell him so every single day. As we speak, he’s out grocery shopping and then will come home and cook. What a dude !~! Wanna borrow said dude ?~!
Suburban Kamikaze saysNovember 13, 2012 at 11:21 pm
Labels, schmables. It gets wet, it goes around, it’s done. Stop over-thinking this. Laundry will make you its slave if you let it.
David Michael saysNovember 14, 2012 at 10:47 pm
I am it’s slave… Or at least I am caught in some sort of endenturement. Bossy, I love your blog. And where I usually don’t like Fraggle-style third personing, it fits. Love your work!
“Luck be a lady tonight.”
Ally saysNovember 15, 2012 at 10:03 pm
so excited to stumble back after a small absence to Bossy’s blog and discover that I’ve missed a half-month’s worth of posts! oh ma gah, as you would say.
I just want to know two things about this non-chlorine bleach :
a) if stains are chromophore collections, what are colored clothings?
b) how does hydrogen peroxide not bleach colored fabric the same way it strips color out of hair?
As a highly-degreed engineer, I should probably investigate the answer myself, but the best engineers are smart and lazy, ie.efficient, and since you apparently have already investigated, perhaps you could fill me in.