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i am bossy

Date Night.

Two nights ago Bossy and her husband got free tickets to see their hometown baseball team because Bossy knows a certain someone she likes to call The Architect Of The Entire Ballpark. For security purposes the baseball team shall remain nameless, but it rhymes with Willies. So straight from another day on the couch work, Bossy and her husband drove downtown:

parking-space

The walk to the stadium was so exciting and really lucky because two of the actual baseball players were walking directly in front of Bossy:

stadium-walk

Within no time Bossy and her husband could smell roasted peanuts and hear the din of the announcements and see the reflective metal of the security checkpoint. Just like the olden days:

angels-sing

cbp

The first thing Bossy did was get in line for her dinner:

bbq

Then Bossy and her husband found their seats. Which were in the dugout:

seats

Bossy doesn’t want to rub it in, but all she’s saying is Pulled Pork Barbeque sandwich, coleslaw, baked beans, and two pounds of sweet peppers.

dinner

The Willies took the field. It was a sold-out crowd:

sold-out

Then blah blah blah Chase Utley got up to bat.

utley

kidding

And then the game got exciting. First we scored a run:

run1

And then another run:

run2

And then Bossy got a little distracted:

bedtime-story

Luckily Bossy became intrigued with a couple of guys sitting two rows in front of her:

fellas

Bossy was intrigued because they acted just like this, talking and giggling through every pitch.

guys1

guys2

Yeah. Did Bossy say intrigued? She may have taken a few more pictures:

boys-together

So why was Bossy less intrigued obsessed amused by these two?

talking

And then the Willies hit another run and another run!

2runs

And this is when they hit a homerun!

head

And then ball strike swing run out who cares because Oh My Gah They Stood Up.

stood-up

And this is the part when Bossy and her husband moved to a couple of empty seats even closer to athlete ass the action:

close

Two guys talking and giggling who? Oh them. Bossy didn’t mind that she couldn’t see those guys anymore because Bossy became curious about this guy who kept standing up and turning in full circles and shaking a million hands and she thought he looked familiar:

anchorman

Bossy and her husband ate peanuts and drank more beer and way too soon it was all over. The game? Oh, we won:

end

And then Bossy and her husband drove home and got romantic, the way you do after Crab Fries.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. First woohoo!

    So? Who’s Mr. Anchorhairdude?

    Around here we have the finest AAA ball of the Durham Bulls variety. Susan Sarandon is a groupie of Kevin Costner, whose “real” name is Crash Davis (though you know his real real name is probably something like Merle Snodgrass). For some reason we never see them at the games, which, oh yeah, it’s AAA ball, so you get to watch mascot Wool E. Bull who drives a wicked go-kart (no, I’m not from New England even though I just said “wicked”) and carries a cannon that shoots hot dogs, and of course no game would be complete without 2 lucky people from the stands dressed in these puffy sumo costumes trying to toss each other off a mat. Every now and then, people realize there’s a game on, but fortunately there’s the huge inflatable slide (OK, they haven’t had that recently, but) and the pitch speed game, and beer, and burritos (a frightening combo) and more beer.

    OK, I shut up now.

    Reply

  3. He ain’t no anchorman.

    Anchorman are contractually required to get rid of puffy cheek water-weight. Also his stoner squinty eyes would preclude him from face time in the televised version of the 4th estate.

    But I have a question. Does the ticket-giving architect have any relation to the roof-obsessed architect?

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  7. Im going to the Willies game on Sunday in one of those fancy boxes. So you’re saying all I need to do is throw some crab fries around and I may get lucky?

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  8. If *I* had been there, I might have been distracted by YOU! LOL. How in the world did you keep up with the game while taking all of those pictures? I can just see it now, angling and focusing and snapping.

    A good blogger looks at every situation as the meat of her next post, nice job!!

    Reply

  15. Hey Davido: Our minor league team in Appleton WI has a brat (as in bratwurst) cannon, and racing eyeballs sponsored by some local eye doctor. A great day of baseball. And can I just say, even though I live in Wisconsin, “Go Bubs Go!”?

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  16. All this talk of food has made me hungry.

    Let me check the pantry…

    No roasted peanuts…

    No crab fries in the pantry…

    No pulled pork or baked beans in the pantry…

    Oh, I guess I’ll have to crack open this Menu No. 23, Chicken with Cavatelli Meal-ready-to-eat (MRE) left over from Hurricane Katrina.

    Hurricane food, my favorite.

    Reply

  17. We gays are ALWAYS more interesting to watch because our affections are just barely hidden so we become more mysterious and alluring to the eye (and the mocking… the horrible, horrible mocking. Why can’t you just leave us alone??!).

    It’s no wonder they kept you entertained.

    I am embarrassed that they choice to dress alike. Ugh. Puke city!

    But there is a happy ending:
    “And then Steve and his husband, Marc, drove home and got romantic, the way you do after getting crabs.”

    Wait, does that doesn’t sound right.

    Reply

  18. And I thought Wrigley Field boasted the World’s Biggest Beer Garden. Based on the empty cups around you, maybe your home field is giving Chicago a run for their money!

    Cute boys and baseball makes for a great date night. Doesn’t hurt you got your grove on after. You didn’t mention whether your new boyfriends came home with Bossy and B’s husband.

    Reply

  19. At the store last night, my cashier made a big deal over an acrylic nail that was in danger of breaking, amongst two hands of perfect, bride-like french manicured, sqaured-off, two inch long claws. Except he was a MAN. A perfectly butch looking man with facial hair and everything… and acrylic nails. I need one of those hats that says “I’m blogging this!”

    Reply

  20. That guy does look familiar.
    That food, beer and peanuts was probably more expensive than both tickets put together. The BBQ is soooooo worth it, though. And that game? Umm…someone won. The Willies? Big Willie style?

    Reply

  24. First of all..tremendously entertaining post!

    Second of all…judging from the shot walking towards the park, Chase Utley has really let himself go…no cheese fries for you Mr. Utley 🙂

    William from Poop and Boogies recommended you…and I am enjoying your blog 🙂

    Bradley
    The Egel Nest

    Reply

  25. First of all is it heiny or heinie? I just used this word in my last post b/c my son’s teacher said it.

    Oh, how I love a Willies game. We were there a few weeks ago and my son had the nerve to say the food is better at the Flyer’s stadium. But we didn’t have the patience to wait in the crab fry line.

    Maybe we’ll get to go again if they can make it into the playoffs. I’d love to reminisce about the time that won the World Series when I was in, um, 7th grade.

    Reply

  26. This brings back memories of the last time I went to a game with my husband. We belong to perhaps the most in-your-face-enough-already-with-the-fanatacism-clun, yup, we dig the Red Sox. 39.5 weeks pregnant, 4.5 hours outside of our network and eating dawgs at a Sox game, not perhaps the best advised decision, but remember, we’re Sox fans. I didn’t go into labor nor did they win, but we had a great time. Next time I’ll create a photo narrative, though I’ll never even skirt your briliance.

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  29. I LOVE baseball games! Last time we went Mister got free tickets to the Angels & it was our kids first game. It was fun & exciting. But next time I think I’m going to people watch instead!

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  31. Date night? Let me see now, what was that again? My last real date night was over 12 years ago, before my oldest daughter was born. Yeah, we’ve gone out on dates afterwards, but it’s not the same if you are worrying whether or not your kids have driven the babysitter out of the house yet. So, who’s the guy with the anchorman hair? You can’t keep us in suspense like this, we must know the truth.

    Reply

  33. …”The walk to the stadium was so exciting and really lucky because two of the actual baseball players were walking directly in front of Bossy:

    ”

    ahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha.

    Reply

  35. Looks like I sometimes watch football not too far from where you live, uh, if I’m correctly deducing the actual identity of the “Willies.” Let me know if you ever plan to see the Beagles or the Spyers play- I think going to a game with you looks like a blast.

    “Romantic after crab fries.” Does that mean you took turns on the potty? Hmmm. Maybe they were better than the last crab fries I had.

    Reply

  36. I used to be a Phillie fan, but then they started winning. I would rather root for a team heading straight for worst place in all time. Now I have to back to calling myself a Mets fan.

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  38. It’s a great time to be a (rhymes with) Willies fan. Especially with the (rhymes with) Sweats choking.

    That said, go Yankees (rhymes with World Series Champions)!

    Reply

  40. Holy Crap! Someone from Appleton commented on MY bossy’s blog. Wow, small world (hello, fellow Fox Cities Dwellers!)
    And it’s true, the brat races are the best. My husband once got hit by one of the flying brats they shoot from the cannons. Where was my camera then?

    Reply

  46. Ok I laughed my ass off. That was too funny. Do you have ADD by any chance? And please tell me this was a camera phone and you were subtle. GREAT GREAT GREAT!

    Reply

  49. I’m sorry but why am I the first person who is going to say that the Anchorhair dude is a cutie? Like, if I knew boys like that whent to Willies games, um, I’d maybe actually accept invitations!

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  51. THAT is Al Gore’s brother. Geez, I figured ANYONE would know that.

    I wouldn’t dare get romantic with Mr. OMSH after he has crab fries. Gas mask, maybe, but NEVER romance.

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  53. Great work, as usual. And great seats!

    The last time I went to an Angels (3 weeks ago) game, it took me 12 hours total to make the round trip, watch the game and get home.

    The last time I went to the Dodgers (2 weeks ago) it was so hot my pants spontaneously combusted.

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  55. Pure genius. Plus, you are pretty and lovely and stuff.

    He looks like he was on a tawdry soap. Or he is the son of a politician.

    Ooh, ooh … is he the next Bachelor?

    Reply

  59. We don’t have crab fries up here in the Northeast.

    WE DO HAVE THE AL EAST DIVISION CHAMPION BOSTON RED SOX.

    High-sterical post. I’m with Moi – drunken son of a politician. I say in rehab within five years.

    Reply

  61. i see you are edging everything now. funny…i too had read REE’s post..and become obsessed with this new trick myself. notice my own spidy pics???

    good times. only i didn’t use her tricks…i just adjusted my canvas for a black border. awesome.

    love your story here. who the hell is THAT GUY???

    Reply

  65. Who knew you could get such a divine dinner at a baseball game?! Must speak to NZ authorities re. introducing baseball to the country’s sports agenda. No more of that ridiculous rugby nonsense.

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  68. What are crab fries and how much do I have to pay you to send me some? I’m a Philly, I mean, Willy-born girl, living far, far from home. Thanks for the peek at the new park. Go Willies!

    Reply

  74. Wow … perhaps (probably?) I am not hanging out with the right people, but until recently I didn’t know (1) that so many people actually admit to being fans of the Willies, and (2) how people can call themselves civilized without experiencing the rapture that is crab fries. I am lucky enough to be going to see the Willies in a Wayoff game this week, and I feel like I need to eat several cartons of crab fries as a tribute to all the poor souls out there who have never had any crab fries. And maybe I will. 🙂

    Reply

  75. Relatively new to your blog, had to comment on this post, because I, too am a “Willies” fan. Also because you’re a total hoot. I went to my first game at the new stadium this year (although my seats were nowhere near as good as Bossy’s), and I spent way more time people watching than game watching. Although, I will say I certainly paid more attention when Pat Burrell was at bat. Have you seen the thighs on that man? Ay, chihuaha.

    Reply

  78. This is the first time I’ve ever heard of crab fries! I assume it’s like garlic fries but not.
    Mmm, beer. I’ve not been to a ballgame in yonks. Must change that…I think we’re going when our roomies’ Tigers are in town. Love the montage of guys! …Is that a tattoo on Left Guy’s neck?! That would make him more stalk-able. 😛
    (I have no interest in stalking anyone, for the record) 😉

    Reply

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