Two nights ago Bossy and her husband got free tickets to see their hometown baseball team because Bossy knows a certain someone she likes to call The Architect Of The Entire Ballpark. For security purposes the baseball team shall remain nameless, but it rhymes with Willies. So straight from another day on the couch work, Bossy and her husband drove downtown:
The walk to the stadium was so exciting and really lucky because two of the actual baseball players were walking directly in front of Bossy:
Within no time Bossy and her husband could smell roasted peanuts and hear the din of the announcements and see the reflective metal of the security checkpoint. Just like the olden days:
The first thing Bossy did was get in line for her dinner:
Then Bossy and her husband found their seats. Which were in the dugout:
Bossy doesn’t want to rub it in, but all she’s saying is Pulled Pork Barbeque sandwich, coleslaw, baked beans, and two pounds of sweet peppers.
The Willies took the field. It was a sold-out crowd:
Then blah blah blah Chase Utley got up to bat.
And then the game got exciting. First we scored a run:
And then another run:
And then Bossy got a little distracted:
Luckily Bossy became intrigued with a couple of guys sitting two rows in front of her:
Bossy was intrigued because they acted just like this, talking and giggling through every pitch.
Yeah. Did Bossy say intrigued? She may have taken a few more pictures:
So why was Bossy less intrigued obsessed amused by these two?
And then the Willies hit another run and another run!
And this is when they hit a homerun!
And then ball strike swing run out who cares because Oh My Gah They Stood Up.
And this is the part when Bossy and her husband moved to a couple of empty seats even closer to athlete ass the action:
Two guys talking and giggling who? Oh them. Bossy didn’t mind that she couldn’t see those guys anymore because Bossy became curious about this guy who kept standing up and turning in full circles and shaking a million hands and she thought he looked familiar:
Bossy and her husband ate peanuts and drank more beer and way too soon it was all over. The game? Oh, we won:
And then Bossy and her husband drove home and got romantic, the way you do after Crab Fries.
davido says
September 28, 2007 at 10:29 amFirst woohoo!
So? Who’s Mr. Anchorhairdude?
Around here we have the finest AAA ball of the Durham Bulls variety. Susan Sarandon is a groupie of Kevin Costner, whose “real” name is Crash Davis (though you know his real real name is probably something like Merle Snodgrass). For some reason we never see them at the games, which, oh yeah, it’s AAA ball, so you get to watch mascot Wool E. Bull who drives a wicked go-kart (no, I’m not from New England even though I just said “wicked”) and carries a cannon that shoots hot dogs, and of course no game would be complete without 2 lucky people from the stands dressed in these puffy sumo costumes trying to toss each other off a mat. Every now and then, people realize there’s a game on, but fortunately there’s the huge inflatable slide (OK, they haven’t had that recently, but) and the pitch speed game, and beer, and burritos (a frightening combo) and more beer.
OK, I shut up now.
Tammy says
September 28, 2007 at 10:31 amHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You are KILLING me!!
Get-Off says
September 28, 2007 at 10:33 amHe ain’t no anchorman.
Anchorman are contractually required to get rid of puffy cheek water-weight. Also his stoner squinty eyes would preclude him from face time in the televised version of the 4th estate.
But I have a question. Does the ticket-giving architect have any relation to the roof-obsessed architect?
jennyg says
September 28, 2007 at 10:34 amWe love the Willies here too.
Watched from home last night, though.
Happy day to you, Bossy.
Go Willies!
joeinvegas says
September 28, 2007 at 10:40 amCrab fries? I thought we were done with them back in college days – oh, wait, you fry them?
Miss Britt says
September 28, 2007 at 10:45 amI think those two guys were on date night too.
dexter says
September 28, 2007 at 10:49 amIm going to the Willies game on Sunday in one of those fancy boxes. So you’re saying all I need to do is throw some crab fries around and I may get lucky?
Kim says
September 28, 2007 at 10:50 amIf *I* had been there, I might have been distracted by YOU! LOL. How in the world did you keep up with the game while taking all of those pictures? I can just see it now, angling and focusing and snapping.
A good blogger looks at every situation as the meat of her next post, nice job!!
Mrs. Chicky says
September 28, 2007 at 10:59 amFer chrissake, who’s the guy? The not knowing is killing me.
vuboq says
September 28, 2007 at 11:01 amI am amused by the two guys as well. They look cuuuuuuuuuuute from the back.
And congrats on making attending a baseball game sound interesting.
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah says
September 28, 2007 at 11:08 amDoes Bossy have two new boyfriends?
mp says
September 28, 2007 at 11:11 amI LOVE going to the baseball game! Our Bardinals aren’t doing as well as your Willies this year..but it’s still a good date!
ali says
September 28, 2007 at 11:14 amthe people at the game are FAR more interesting than the ACTUAL game.
🙂
Mrs. Chicken says
September 28, 2007 at 11:15 amSigh. I miss baseball. And you are increasing my lurve for you daily, today by using one of my favorite words: “hieny.”
sue says
September 28, 2007 at 11:17 amHey Davido: Our minor league team in Appleton WI has a brat (as in bratwurst) cannon, and racing eyeballs sponsored by some local eye doctor. A great day of baseball. And can I just say, even though I live in Wisconsin, “Go Bubs Go!”?
Audubon Ron says
September 28, 2007 at 11:18 amAll this talk of food has made me hungry.
Let me check the pantry…
No roasted peanuts…
No crab fries in the pantry…
No pulled pork or baked beans in the pantry…
Oh, I guess I’ll have to crack open this Menu No. 23, Chicken with Cavatelli Meal-ready-to-eat (MRE) left over from Hurricane Katrina.
Hurricane food, my favorite.
Howard says
September 28, 2007 at 11:23 amWe gays are ALWAYS more interesting to watch because our affections are just barely hidden so we become more mysterious and alluring to the eye (and the mocking… the horrible, horrible mocking. Why can’t you just leave us alone??!).
It’s no wonder they kept you entertained.
I am embarrassed that they choice to dress alike. Ugh. Puke city!
But there is a happy ending:
“And then Steve and his husband, Marc, drove home and got romantic, the way you do after getting crabs.”
Wait, does that doesn’t sound right.
Nilsa S. says
September 28, 2007 at 11:26 amAnd I thought Wrigley Field boasted the World’s Biggest Beer Garden. Based on the empty cups around you, maybe your home field is giving Chicago a run for their money!
Cute boys and baseball makes for a great date night. Doesn’t hurt you got your grove on after. You didn’t mention whether your new boyfriends came home with Bossy and B’s husband.
Marie says
September 28, 2007 at 11:27 amAt the store last night, my cashier made a big deal over an acrylic nail that was in danger of breaking, amongst two hands of perfect, bride-like french manicured, sqaured-off, two inch long claws. Except he was a MAN. A perfectly butch looking man with facial hair and everything… and acrylic nails. I need one of those hats that says “I’m blogging this!”
The Domestic Goddess says
September 28, 2007 at 11:28 amThat guy does look familiar.
That food, beer and peanuts was probably more expensive than both tickets put together. The BBQ is soooooo worth it, though. And that game? Umm…someone won. The Willies? Big Willie style?
Nancy says
September 28, 2007 at 11:29 amLove your “photo of the ballgame” … that’s kinda how my Detroit Tiger game posts look, sand the brilliant photoshopping!
Nancy says
September 28, 2007 at 11:29 am*sans
Dr Monkey says
September 28, 2007 at 11:39 amWell as long as you two got romantic it was all worth it.
bradley egel says
September 28, 2007 at 11:51 amFirst of all..tremendously entertaining post!
Second of all…judging from the shot walking towards the park, Chase Utley has really let himself go…no cheese fries for you Mr. Utley 🙂
William from Poop and Boogies recommended you…and I am enjoying your blog 🙂
Bradley
The Egel Nest
Lori at Spinning Yellow says
September 28, 2007 at 11:54 amFirst of all is it heiny or heinie? I just used this word in my last post b/c my son’s teacher said it.
Oh, how I love a Willies game. We were there a few weeks ago and my son had the nerve to say the food is better at the Flyer’s stadium. But we didn’t have the patience to wait in the crab fry line.
Maybe we’ll get to go again if they can make it into the playoffs. I’d love to reminisce about the time that won the World Series when I was in, um, 7th grade.
amanda says
September 28, 2007 at 12:10 pmThis brings back memories of the last time I went to a game with my husband. We belong to perhaps the most in-your-face-enough-already-with-the-fanatacism-clun, yup, we dig the Red Sox. 39.5 weeks pregnant, 4.5 hours outside of our network and eating dawgs at a Sox game, not perhaps the best advised decision, but remember, we’re Sox fans. I didn’t go into labor nor did they win, but we had a great time. Next time I’ll create a photo narrative, though I’ll never even skirt your briliance.
Kim says
September 28, 2007 at 12:12 pmIsn’t that Wally Cleaver? No?
Thanks for the play by play. Does baseball have cheerleaders? I do football.
Rebecca says
September 28, 2007 at 12:13 pmAnchorman Hair has the sweet stench of political candidate radiating from him.
Cece says
September 28, 2007 at 12:17 pmI LOVE baseball games! Last time we went Mister got free tickets to the Angels & it was our kids first game. It was fun & exciting. But next time I think I’m going to people watch instead!
soNOTcool says
September 28, 2007 at 1:01 pmThat was WAY more exciting than an actual baseball game, especially since I didn’t have to sit through 9 innings.
Theresa says
September 28, 2007 at 1:13 pmDate night? Let me see now, what was that again? My last real date night was over 12 years ago, before my oldest daughter was born. Yeah, we’ve gone out on dates afterwards, but it’s not the same if you are worrying whether or not your kids have driven the babysitter out of the house yet. So, who’s the guy with the anchorman hair? You can’t keep us in suspense like this, we must know the truth.
srah says
September 28, 2007 at 1:15 pmAnchorman Hair looks so familiar!
ree says
September 28, 2007 at 1:25 pm…”The walk to the stadium was so exciting and really lucky because two of the actual baseball players were walking directly in front of Bossy:
”
ahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha.
pkzcass says
September 28, 2007 at 1:48 pmReally, really funny.
the frogster says
September 28, 2007 at 1:54 pmLooks like I sometimes watch football not too far from where you live, uh, if I’m correctly deducing the actual identity of the “Willies.” Let me know if you ever plan to see the Beagles or the Spyers play- I think going to a game with you looks like a blast.
“Romantic after crab fries.” Does that mean you took turns on the potty? Hmmm. Maybe they were better than the last crab fries I had.
Chuckles says
September 28, 2007 at 2:29 pmI used to be a Phillie fan, but then they started winning. I would rather root for a team heading straight for worst place in all time. Now I have to back to calling myself a Mets fan.
Teryn says
September 28, 2007 at 2:39 pmI usually just stare at people with my mouth open. I never thought of taking pictures — I could stare for so much longer.
Chag says
September 28, 2007 at 3:24 pmIt’s a great time to be a (rhymes with) Willies fan. Especially with the (rhymes with) Sweats choking.
That said, go Yankees (rhymes with World Series Champions)!
flutter says
September 28, 2007 at 3:36 pmoh my god, anchorman hair!!!
Darcy says
September 28, 2007 at 3:38 pmHoly Crap! Someone from Appleton commented on MY bossy’s blog. Wow, small world (hello, fellow Fox Cities Dwellers!)
And it’s true, the brat races are the best. My husband once got hit by one of the flying brats they shoot from the cannons. Where was my camera then?
Amy says
September 28, 2007 at 3:58 pmwhat are these crab fries of which you speak and where do I get me some?
Isabelle says
September 28, 2007 at 4:12 pmYes, I also am not of your land and don’t understand the concept of “crab fries.”
Mr Farty says
September 28, 2007 at 4:16 pmBrat Cannon.
That’ll stop the little horrors from misbehaving. And you say it’s legal in the US?
Brando says
September 28, 2007 at 4:23 pmWait, you were at a Phillies game. Where was all the drunken brawling and pelting Santa Claus with garbage?
boomama says
September 28, 2007 at 4:41 pmI HOWLED at the montage of the guys in front of you.
Excellent work.
mabel says
September 28, 2007 at 4:59 pmOk I laughed my ass off. That was too funny. Do you have ADD by any chance? And please tell me this was a camera phone and you were subtle. GREAT GREAT GREAT!
Les~ says
September 28, 2007 at 5:26 pmThat was fun! You make me LOL so much!
whit says
September 28, 2007 at 5:54 pmWe have garlic fries at our stadium. The make me sick every time. I get them every time.
Paige Jennifer says
September 28, 2007 at 6:01 pmI’m sorry but why am I the first person who is going to say that the Anchorhair dude is a cutie? Like, if I knew boys like that whent to Willies games, um, I’d maybe actually accept invitations!
mimi says
September 28, 2007 at 7:39 pmtruly, it’s all about the beauty of the game, right?
OMSH says
September 28, 2007 at 7:53 pmTHAT is Al Gore’s brother. Geez, I figured ANYONE would know that.
I wouldn’t dare get romantic with Mr. OMSH after he has crab fries. Gas mask, maybe, but NEVER romance.
HG says
September 28, 2007 at 8:48 pmLove the new stadium.
Suebob says
September 28, 2007 at 8:54 pmGreat work, as usual. And great seats!
The last time I went to an Angels (3 weeks ago) game, it took me 12 hours total to make the round trip, watch the game and get home.
The last time I went to the Dodgers (2 weeks ago) it was so hot my pants spontaneously combusted.
Pissy says
September 29, 2007 at 12:55 amLoved it!
Felt like I was there….so fun! 🙂
Moi says
September 29, 2007 at 1:02 amPure genius. Plus, you are pretty and lovely and stuff.
He looks like he was on a tawdry soap. Or he is the son of a politician.
Ooh, ooh … is he the next Bachelor?
Mrs. G. says
September 29, 2007 at 2:18 amDid you buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks? Great post, bossy.
Suburban Oblivion says
September 29, 2007 at 8:33 amWTF are crab fries???
dexter says
September 29, 2007 at 11:41 amThe guy with the hair is Bradley Hungwell. He is the host of “Hangin with Hungwell” on the local community gay channel.
Manic Mommy says
September 29, 2007 at 2:11 pmWe don’t have crab fries up here in the Northeast.
WE DO HAVE THE AL EAST DIVISION CHAMPION BOSTON RED SOX.
High-sterical post. I’m with Moi – drunken son of a politician. I say in rehab within five years.
Oh, The Joys says
September 29, 2007 at 2:31 pmBaseball makes bossy hot?! Who knew?!!
stella says
September 29, 2007 at 6:59 pmi see you are edging everything now. funny…i too had read REE’s post..and become obsessed with this new trick myself. notice my own spidy pics???
good times. only i didn’t use her tricks…i just adjusted my canvas for a black border. awesome.
love your story here. who the hell is THAT GUY???
Jess says
September 29, 2007 at 7:01 pmLove that you are a people watcher. Very funny. Thanks.
VDog says
September 29, 2007 at 8:03 pmBossy made funny post. Bossy made Baseball game funny. Bossy IS funny.
Alex Elliot says
September 30, 2007 at 12:40 amFunny post!!
Melissa in NZ says
September 30, 2007 at 12:59 amWho knew you could get such a divine dinner at a baseball game?! Must speak to NZ authorities re. introducing baseball to the country’s sports agenda. No more of that ridiculous rugby nonsense.
Heather B. says
September 30, 2007 at 2:35 pmIs it just me or does Miller light/coors light/cheap beer in general, taste better during a baseball game?
PunditMom says
September 30, 2007 at 7:40 pmYour tale amuses me, as do the pictures. More beer?
Theresa says
September 30, 2007 at 11:59 pmWhat are crab fries and how much do I have to pay you to send me some? I’m a Philly, I mean, Willy-born girl, living far, far from home. Thanks for the peek at the new park. Go Willies!
Jen M says
October 1, 2007 at 12:43 amSadly, I find the mystery man attractive.
qt says
October 1, 2007 at 11:53 amEmpty beer at a baseball game – that is sad indeed. But I love the photo montage of the boys!!
Ruth Dynamite says
October 1, 2007 at 3:23 pmI think it’s Osama bin Laden.
Jenny from Mommin' It Up! says
October 2, 2007 at 11:35 amI used to think I was funny, until I read this. Now I realize Bossy is the real funny! I gotsa get crackin’ on getting up to snuff.
SinewMe says
October 2, 2007 at 2:51 pmAppleton?! I was vacationing in the Fox Valley while this very post was made! Small world indeed 😉
rockle says
October 2, 2007 at 9:47 pmWow … perhaps (probably?) I am not hanging out with the right people, but until recently I didn’t know (1) that so many people actually admit to being fans of the Willies, and (2) how people can call themselves civilized without experiencing the rapture that is crab fries. I am lucky enough to be going to see the Willies in a Wayoff game this week, and I feel like I need to eat several cartons of crab fries as a tribute to all the poor souls out there who have never had any crab fries. And maybe I will. 🙂
Jenn says
October 3, 2007 at 1:35 pmRelatively new to your blog, had to comment on this post, because I, too am a “Willies” fan. Also because you’re a total hoot. I went to my first game at the new stadium this year (although my seats were nowhere near as good as Bossy’s), and I spent way more time people watching than game watching. Although, I will say I certainly paid more attention when Pat Burrell was at bat. Have you seen the thighs on that man? Ay, chihuaha.
erin says
October 7, 2007 at 7:02 amI love going to b-ball games so that I can pay $8.00 for a beer, which I will inevitably spill on the person in front of me:o
Secret Agent Mama says
October 19, 2007 at 8:40 amI just found this blog and GOOD GOD, Bossy, you are effin’ funny! I am gonna love reading you more and more. 😀
Al_Pal says
May 11, 2008 at 6:30 amThis is the first time I’ve ever heard of crab fries! I assume it’s like garlic fries but not.
Mmm, beer. I’ve not been to a ballgame in yonks. Must change that…I think we’re going when our roomies’ Tigers are in town. Love the montage of guys! …Is that a tattoo on Left Guy’s neck?! That would make him more stalk-able. 😛
(I have no interest in stalking anyone, for the record) 😉
3limes says
November 4, 2008 at 7:23 pmHi, just discovered you and nearly peed my pants laughing!
I will check in again.
Hokie Deb says
January 12, 2009 at 1:33 pmJust came across your site and that was a funny post.
http://thaxtonfam.blogspot.com