‘Twas the day before Christmas at the Casa de Blog
All the family was hyper, including the dog.
The stockings were hung on the staircase so steep
Because they don’t have a mantel,
Or a center hall or a mudroom or a pantry,
In their brick Cape so cheap.
While her college son worked and her daughter baked sweets
Bossy stirred box-shaped veggies for her Broccoli Deceit.
While visions of Cabernet danced in her head,
Bossy laid out the snacks for their Christmas Eve spread.
When out on the wetland arose cursing so dire,
On the spot where the husband chopped wood for the fire,
“Why so glum, sugarplum, are the logs all too wet?
From a week filled with rain—and it’s not quite done yet?”
He continued to hack while she returned to her chores,
Such as tossing foul throw quilts behind locked closet doors.
More rapid than eagles Bossy dusted in vain,
And swept hair under chair legs from her enormous Great Dane.
As dry heaves that before food poisoning fly,
Or blog ranking drops like a brick from the sky,
So Bossy did tally things from the year past,
Such wealth and success — Hey kid, not so fast!
While it’s true Bossy’s rich in great family and friends,
Her funds are as leaky as a pair of Depends.
See, there’s not that much income from blogging full time,
Especially when that blog puts her bitching to rhyme.
Still, Bossy is proud of her little Dot Commie
That stormed the blog world like an ether tsunami,
Because through all this writing, Bossy’s met such great peeps,
Gays, moms, Mormons, ranchers—they’re The Harvest she reaps.
So, with a twinkle in her eye, and a twist of this post,
Happy Holidays to all and to those you love most.
Happy Holidays to you and your family, dear Bossy. Your caroling party sounds fun!
Merry Christmas, Bossy! God’s blessings to you and your family!
Wow, clever you! (and Im #2!!)
Hey, Im going to be in Pennsylvania in the New Year (Feb.)…going to the Mars Chocolate School. Is that near you??
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas, Bossy! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday.
That was lovely! Happy Holidays!
I love Bossy and Bossy’s family and Bossy’s blog so much! Merry Christmas!
Thanks for the great poem.
Happy Holiday-ing, caroling, and cabernet-ing!
Awwww!
How long did that take? Very cute and very bossy-like!
merry christmas to all of you, have a great time tonight!
xoxo
from the beach!
Lisa
coastal nest
“As dry heaves that before food poisoning fly …”
Masterful! Merry Christmas honey!
:::cheers:::
Poem well rewritten!
Merriment and Mirth to you and yours.
there was a poem? I was too busy thinking about the olives. Merry Happy to you, too! *smooches*
Bossy deserves lots of cash, she’s the best of the bunch
Here’s hoping you get through this dreadful money crunch
(Sorry, I took all of three seconds to think that up)
Merry Christmas to Bossy. I’m so glad I found your blog because you have brought me many happy hours.
PS I love the log photo.
Have an awesome xmas and a brilliant new year.
Merry Christmas Bossy and family!
Wishing you the very best this holiday season and a PROSPEROUS New Year.
That was a fun read. Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas Bossy, Bossy’s family and Bossy’s readers!!
bossy is very clever.
happy merry to you.
Warm holiday hugs to Bossy & crew this season,
We’re ALL a bit “laugh-ier”, and Bossy’s the reason!!
I’m still laughing over “why so glum, sugar plum?”…BOSSY is quite to wordsmith.
Happy Holidays BOSSY and family!
er…that should be “THE wordsmith”. Oy.
Well done, Bossy.
Here’s wishing you a Happy Holiday and a super absorbant Depends in 2009.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Cabernet night.
Merry Christmas Bossy to you and your family!
Thanks for all the laughs!
Merry Christmas to Bossy and her wonderful clan, especially that Great Dane.
Merry Happy to you and yours!
Dooce don’t give us no poems. Merry, Bossy.
And I’m glad I met you too!
Because I can’t think of anyone else who would
(a) whine in a parody of night before Xmas
(b) rhyme friends and Depends and have it make sense
(c) reveal herself thusly and draw people into this funny little bossy community
Umm, am I getting the impression that Christmas is tomorrow?? Are you sure?
The very same to you and yours, Bossy — especially the Two Goofs…and the Great Dog…and your handsome husband…and of course to gorgeous, generous, entirely fabulous you!
I promised myself the computer would not be on today of all days – but I just had to see what the Bossy clan was up to. You didn’t let me down – the poem was great. (And as always, the food looks fab – now I can’t get that warm crabmeat dip out of my head and I’m pretty sure you’re happy the cleanse is over….)
Merry merry Everything to you too, Bossy, and to your family. Thanks for making the Web a friendlier place.
Bravo!
Well done.
Thanks for the Christmas Cheer.
And while I’m at it, Happy New Year!
Merry Merry Happy Happy to the Family Bossy.
I hope you have a wonderful day, filled with much joy.
Bossy Christmas to you!
Merry Christmas to YOU! Thanks for giving the internets joy all year long!
Delightful post, Bossy! Happy Christmas and hoping continued blessings and improved blog rankings to you in the coming year
This line, in particular–PRICELESS:
“Especially when that blog puts their bitching to rhyme”
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
Happy Holidays Bossy! Excellent work on the pre-Xmas rhyming .
Merry merry, bossy!
Merry Christmas and love to you and your family… Fer chrissake.
<3
…And her reader exclaimed, blogging into the night:
“Merry Christmas, dear Bossy-your blog is JUST RIGHT!”
Merry Christmas Bossy Family!
Merry Christmas Bossy–your road trip changed my life–I have friends I might never have met without your influence. It’s too bad bringing the world together doesn’t pay better.
Oh Bossy – you simply rule and you have brought this tired mom of three many a smile in the short time I have visited your fresh artistic perspective on this journey of life. Blog on and on Bossy, and someday mountains of cash will come a ‘tumbling in….I am certain.
Merry merry Christmas!
I think I have a tear in my eye! Love ya Bossy!
I love Bossy’s take on The Night Before Christmas.
Merry Christmas to you all.
And from Poopy the Puppy – an extra large Christmas kiss to Stella.
happy ho ho bossy!!!
Happy holidays and Merry Christmas, Bossy.
happy happy to all from my house to yours!
nice poem, bossy!
Merry Christmas to you Bossy and thx for keeping me company down here in Trinidad! All the best!
Happy Holidays to you and all your loved ones Bossy!
Awwww.. Merry Christmas dear Bossy…
Have a very Bossy Christmas!
I wish I was coming to your caroling party for those yummy snacks! But I will be home with my own little bossies as our huge Northwest snow slowly melts!
I covet the jar of olives! Now I know what I should have put on Bossy’s yesterday Ten Word Tuesday comment…Santa-hey, Santa–swing by the olive store and pitch it down my chimney, you hear?
Merry Christmas, ya’ll!
Be merry, Be very merry.
I think nobody is ever “merry” any other time of the year.
I want to be merrier, year round.
Merry next year to all y’all. Non-Xmas-y David especially!
Hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas!!
Have the VERY best Xmas with all the family cherish the time together even if the logs are wet ya can always get out the Fireplace DVD Make Merry and all that fun stuff
Merry Christmas to Bossy and your beautiful family! Thank you for another wonderful year…
Merry Christmas, Bossy and Bossy’s family!
With ya on the “i loves”. They’re very important for stress relief, especially right now. Merry Christmas!
…This was top-notch Bossy! Great job! :oD
…Here to wish you and yours and very Merry Christmas filled with love and laughter!
…Peace & blessings… ;o)
Wonderful post! Merry Christmas to you and your family Bossy!
Okay… that is probably the best Christmas post I’ve read this year… and well… I’ve read millions.
I thank Bossy from the bottom of my heart for her comic genius, her wit, and her incredible sense of humanity. Can you have a sense of humanity? I don’t know. I think I was trying to say sense of humor, but humanity forced its way into the sentence and I was helpless to stop it.
Merry Christmas to Bossy, Bossy’s Family, Bossy’s Friends and Bossy’s Parents, who obviously contributed to all that Bossy is.
And Bossy’s Dog. Who is truly The Boss.
Great minds think alike…of course people actually read what your great mind churns out…and with good reason.
Merry merry.
Very cute! Merry Christmas!
http://sprucehill.typepad.com/
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas to you and your family, Bossy! I hope you have a wonderful day! Love the pics…lol
Merry Christmas to you and your family!!!
Happy Christmas, Bossy and family. Here’s to a beautiful 2009.
Merry Christmas Bossy! Thanks for the poem.
You are amazing!!
Merry Merry to you & yours and all the best wishes for a happy, healthy, prosperous 2009!
Merry Christmas Bossy to you and your family! I love your poem and your blog!
Everything everyone else said, times a hundred zillion.
Happy Holidays, Bossy, and here’s to eating, drinking, and increasing blog traffic in 2009!
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas, Bossy and family!! Have a wonderful one!
That was incredible. Merry Christmas!
If you’re not making money writing SOMETHING, you should be–you are truly a hoot, and that is a great and rare talent among writers.
Bossy, you are so clever and funny I’m sure huge fame and fortune are right around the corner!
Bossy is the new Dooce!
Awesome, Bossy! XOXO
Merry Christmas Bossy and Fam de Bossy
x
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas BOSSY and family. Have another egg-nog.
Merry Christmas!! Hope yours was fabulous.
(and my new cooking mantra is: “if it’s still box shaped, it’s not done”. That’s just brilliant.)
Merry Christmas, Bossy – And thanks for the poem!
God, I love your blog! And you are an amazing photographer. Merry Christmas and hope you have a wonderful 2009!
Merry, merry, happy, happy! 2009 is gonna rock!
Bossy you are a genious! Merry ChrismaHanuKwanzakuh!!
Is it lame to comment on posts so LATE???
Loved your blog all the year through,
I look forward to next year to see what you do!
Clever Bossy!!! Beautifully done… and I have no idea how you can make a living out of blogging. I have resigned myself to having my little corner of cyberspace as a pastime rather than paytime! It’s more fun that way!!!!
Hugs and Happy Noo Year to y’all!

(mixed up as many American accents as possible in that last sentence!)
BB
Bossy rocks. This may very well be my Christmas card next year. ya mind?
gud yar