The above photo depicts a vacation phenomenon. Actually it depicts at least two vacation phenomenons, possibly three — no wait, four. Five.
The first vacation phenomenon depicted in the above photo: there is no plural for phenomenon, or so says spell check. Perhaps phenomenon is already the plural and phenomena is the singular and phenom is the lazy bastard cousin.
The second vacation phenomenon regarding the above photo would have to be the alternate photo Bossy shot for the purpose of this Ten-Word Tuesday, which she doesn’t want to post here OK if you insist because in this alternate photo Bossy’s shadow is so revolting Bossy wouldn’t be able to sleep with it for all the money in the world, through all eternity:
The third vacation phenomenon depicted by the above photo: when Bossy swims in the lake near her campground she gets what she likes to call Lake Champlain Hair, which is smooth and manageable and exactly like the Lake Champlain Hair you see pictured above, except way cuter and less frizzy and not really at all like the Lake Champlain hair captured in these photos so quit asking.
The real, or if you are one of those pesky enumerating types, fourth vacation phenomenon: many many lord why so many years ago, Bossy’s mom gave Bossy a classic white shirt. Except this classic white shirt didn’t seem especially classic, since it was always too stiff and thick, like canvas. And so Bossy could never get herself to wear this shirt, even though Bossy would optimistically try it on again and again, with many different things, before changing into something better else.
Here’s the phenomenon part: Bossy decided to pack this very shirt for her camping trip — you know, in case Bossy was in the just right situation that called for a stiff thick canvassy thing.
Well, it turns out Bossy wore this shirt every minute of every day during her vacation. Bossy layered this shirt over tank tops during the day, she wore this shirt over dresses to keep warm at night, she wore it over her bathing suit to keep from getting sunburnt, she wore it, wore it, and then wore it.
Bossy doesn’t know what it is about vacations that allow the usage of an otherwise ignored article of clothing, just like Bossy doesn’t know what it is about vacations that lead us to purchase tie-dye sarongs we just know we’re going to wear to dinner parties for the rest of our lives but end up abandoning as soon as the jet is taxiing on the runway out of Catalina, which leads Bossy to the last and final vacation phenomenon:
Bossy purchased these fake pink crocks at the campground grocery store last year for a few dollars, which is arguable four dollars too many. Except just to spite her retching son, Bossy proceeded to wear these crocks every minute of that camping vacation, and again this year, in and out of tile showers and muddy campsites and even to the occasional thai restaurant in the local city.
But take these same fake pink crocks, please, and stick them on the back porch in Bossy’s house and they’ll collect an inordinate amount of dust.
Bossy can sum up her vacation clothing phenomenon this way: The wide-brimmed straw hat from Mexico? Never worn once home.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy about an item of clothing you have worn or purchased on vacation that is perfect in those surroundings but doesn’t translate to your everyday wardrobe once you get home?
And be sure to check back later today for the most abandoned clothing items on the web.
If you missed last week’s Ten-Word Challenge, Top Chef Vacation, when Bossy’s council enumerated the foods they associate with vacations — in ten words — then click here. Bossy hates the thought of you missing these creative comments.
Cute ivory embrodered dress bartered for in Mexico hangs lonely.
ultra v-neck ceremonial Japanese tee: failed under scrutiny of peers.
Indian sarong bought in England, altered, appropriate nowhere.
I’ve only had vacations from hell, so I don’t purchase anything. EVER.
Ugly sunglasses from Utah purchased as an emergency pair.
Black straw cowboy hat perfect for Jazz Fest. Indianapolis? No.
Wide red belt. Bad call on that. Psst, it’s “phenomena.”
Poster from Memphis in May festival has hung nowhere. Ever.
Sleeveless turquoise linen dress. Perfect for sunburny skin, otherwise yecch!
Straw hat bought in Napa. Only looks good at wineries.
The ugly shirt: “one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor”.
St. Maarten Caribbean “outfit” insists on laughing from my closet
Floral sarong, bought in Hawaii, now daughters fav dress-up item.
Hawaiian shirt great on cruise; shamefully hides in Maryland closet.
–>@ 11, Begging for cowboy boots after Calgary Stampede. Never worn.
Tiara from Magic Kingdom
in drawer
begs for freedom
*Bossy, how I love being forced to rhyme in ten words EXCACTLY. Great fun!!*
Who wears summery small bare dresses in Pacific Northwest?
(9)
MATCHING Hawaiian gear, wore together to embarrass sister. Embarrassed ourselves instead.
(11)
Except I should really review befor posting as my fingers missed the “the” that should have been in there.
Tiara from Magic Kingdom
in the drawer
begs for freedom
Irresistibly clever shirt from a Charleston bar that says: “w.y.b.m.a.d.i.i.t.y?”
Caribbean blue print capris for cruise don’t fly in Ohio.
Fleece Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt.
Huge Pictorial.
Closing eyes now.
Straw cowboy hat. Mexico, super cute. Local pool, jack ass.
Oh….how about the matching Mexican outfits my husband and I purchased in Manzanillo, Mexico. (Mine happened to be a skirt and top that matched his shirt and pants.) All flowy and gauzy and stuff. You get the picture. It seemed appropriate at the time and went well with the music over there! We were thinking about having a Mexican themed party just so we could wear them again….although I doubt we would.
Sorry…forgot it was Ten- Word Tuesday.
Thank goodness for mossy oak and real tree camo underwear.
Green Mandarin gown bought in New Orleans yearns to shine
Not clothes… MUSIC! Turkish pop, Indonesian chants… sounds awful home.
Swimsuit, I’ll not traumatize my locals with dimply, white thighs
Batwing sweatshirt with Soviet flag stamped on it misses Leningrad.
Paris: dangly black scarf…perfect! Home: House of Bernarda Alba. *sigh*
Batwing and sweatshirt–two words I’ve never seen together before.
Beautiful (expensive) silky pink top from Paris. Never worn once.
Hot little dress in Vegas = I look like a prostitute.
Pink crocs make me want to throw-up too, Bossy’s son.
Pirate-themed Mickey ears seemed like a good idea at the time…
tie-dye sarong, fold up tote bag, floppy brim straw hat.
Expensive gauzy bathing-suit cover. Useless article at local pool.
Many layered, snot green peasant shirt with sparkly ribbons throughout.
15 kangas purchased in kenya sit in the garage, unworn.
Any and all of 5,000 local Harley shop T-shirts: Why??
Cowboy hat in Las Vegas, doesn’t seem to fit in back in Alaska….
Palm hat “custom” woven — Grenada. Never worn off-island. Worth it!
Straw cowboy hat in Tahoe…not so much in Pittsburgh.
Little Italian dress; stolen out of the trunk before worn.
Gauzy halter from Mexico…$80 sandals from Greece
Halter DRESS
Beaded bikini, big feathered headpiece, tons of rum- Trinidad Carnival
Doomed southern family vacation, straw bowler. Looks riduculous in NYC.
Multi-layered sarongs: Perfect in Key West, not so much Vermont.
The cowboy hat sold on the beach in Los Cabos Mexico. I didn’t buy one because I just knew how ridiculous it would look anywhere else. Of course my daughter bought one and it looks really good sitting in her closet.
Severe black manish suit bought in Paris. Sold to wannabe.
Really, these hiking boots will get worn plenty in city.
Tie-dye sarong bought at beach, husband hated, said SO WRONG!
White hat w/feather
Oh how faboo
Stuffed bear wear only
Vacation? What’s a vacation? Bather disintegrating in drawers. I think.
Vacation? What’s a vacation? Bather disintegrating in drawers. I think.
Scottsdale Girl, I liked envisioning a gauzy HALTER on someone.
Rasta hat with dreads from Amsterdam.
HORRIBLE idea throughout UNIVERSE.
Sarong from hawaii
Junior’s Clothes, Target Swimwear, Sunblock, Pearl Thong, iPod, Fannie Pack
Backpack… sounded like a good idea. for vacation. Never used it.
Someone bought me a Hawaiian mumu on THEIR vacation UGH
Gargantuan ass squeezing Bart Simpson: “Crack Kills”. St.Paddy’s 1989 only.
Every single hat i own purchased on vacation never wear.
Matching dog breed t-shirts for husband and me – UP. CHUCK.
Bikini worn one week during teenage summer – where’s THAT body?
Turquois Mexican dress, I look like crap in that color.
Artsy embellished sweater skirt in Italy. Cool there, hotter’n hell here.
A coconut bra from South of the Border is lunacy.
Great deal $10 sweatshirt, diarrhea brown in color.
hiking boots. didn’t even wear them on VACATION. ewww, yick!
Sun-protective mini-skirt and jacket worn every dang day in Bahamas.
Bossy can wear one white thing
for that many days?
Me?
Recipe for attracting spills!
Over and over!
Green straw fedora , Charleston – cute in store, fugly on head
Maria 72 – I agree that would happen to me too
ten year old cow pie color timberland low hiking boots
Many hats bought because I forgot to pack many hats.
Hawaiian kukui necklace. Waiting for big-nut-necklace [one word!] trend to come back.
Tie-dyed tank top (Berkeley) makes me look fat now.
Moroccan caftan: sexy in Marrakech, now reminiscent of Dorothy Zbornak.
emerald green cloak from Ireland – never go anywhere fancy enough.
Feathered, sequined mask, only worn drinking Hurricanes in New Orleans.
Crawfish costume living in perpetuity on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvWTw8W87Kc
oops, forgot Ten word requirement. So….
Crawfish costume living in pertpetuity on YouTube. Please go watch..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvWTw8W87Kc
Cannot complain because I almost always buy shoes.
Dress bought in Maui – okay, muumuu – now covers my swimsuit.
Bathing suits and aloe vera with Lidocaine. That is all.
Black flip flops from Brazil. I wore them for years.
Yellow and pink summer dress from Mexico. Never worn here.
Meg wishes her shadow was as lanky and slim as Olive Oyl’s, or Bossy’s.
Heavy, insulated duck boots (-18 degrees in Iowa) sit yearning for a romp here at the beach.
Maroon embroidered dress from Thailand. I swear to God it fit when I tried it on.