Bossy has a friend. And this friend is in a bit of a pickle over recent events.
Wait — before Bossy begins she should say this: you know how people say I have a friend and then they go on to say something egregious even though Bossy isnt sure what egregious means and you sit there the whole time listening and thinking They are actually talking about themselves?
Well Bossy is not talking about herself.
And if you are a friend of Bossy’s, this is not Bossy’s way of giving you bad news, so all of you just relax. No, this is actually a friend of a friend of a friend story, with another friend thrown in for added complication.
Here’s the deal:
Bossy has a friend. A friend who is not herself. And this friend has a friend who is dating someone. And — maybe this would be easier if Bossy were to illustrate:
And this Bossy has a friend who is not herself:
And this friend of Bossy’s who is not herself also has a friend:
And this friend of a friend is seeing someone. Do people still see people? It’s been a long time since Bossy dated:
But recently… wait, let’s go back to Bossy’s friend who is not herself:
Because this friend has yet another friend:
And this friend with enormous eyes was out one night when he spied the person who is dating Bossy’s friend’s friend:
Except this person who is dating Bossy’s friend’s friend was there with someone else:
So now back to Bossy’s friend who is not herself:
Bossy’s friend who is not herself was told all about this night and now he doesn’t know what to do. He is confused if he should tell his friend about the fact that the love interest was spied out with someone else:
Bossy can summarize her position on this dilemma in the following way: Sure, why not kill two precious hours drawing stick figures?
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you please help Bossy’s friend make the decision: should he tell his friend that the love interest is cheating? Feel free to share your personal experience with this problem.
And be sure to check back later today for the sagest comments on the web.
If you missed last week’s Ten-Word Challenge, you didn’t miss much. Just kidding! You missed The Meaning of Life. Click here to read it in ten words.
Tricia says
March 30, 2010 at 10:41 amMaybe it was his sister. Stay out of it. it.
Jill says
March 30, 2010 at 10:41 amwhy get entangled in something ugly and sad? keep out.
Martha in Kansas says
March 30, 2010 at 10:44 amOne word advice: MYOB. Let it happen.
WebSavvyMom says
March 30, 2010 at 10:45 am–>Mention you spotted the person out. Leave it at that.
heidi says
March 30, 2010 at 10:46 amdo not tell, or friend will lose friendship with friend.
The Great Getzby says
March 30, 2010 at 10:51 amDo not tell — possibly, though, point in the right direction.
Philly says
March 30, 2010 at 10:52 amAs in the wise words of Jenny, Run Forrest, Run !
jaded16 says
March 30, 2010 at 10:54 amUse friend of friend theory to illustrate point/stay out.
Brava97 says
March 30, 2010 at 10:54 amI cannot limit myself to 10 words on this subject. TELL. Especially because they’re only dating. What if this friend of a friend of a friend goes on to marry a cheater but doesn’t know they’re marrying a cheater? Cheating is a lot more painful and damaging in marriage than it is in dating. So TELL.
Someone tried to tell me that my husband was cheating but the voice mail was intercepted by said cheater. I could have known YEARS before I found out on my own. I’m grateful to the person who tried to tell me, even though I don’t know him. I’ll never forgive my husband for standing in the way of that discovery.
Dish on Design Gal says
March 30, 2010 at 10:55 amWOW. Glad you all are not my friends. Friends tell.
Melizzard says
March 30, 2010 at 10:56 amUnless you have all the details stay out of it
leslie says
March 30, 2010 at 10:57 amHow do you know they are not just good friends?
Amy says
March 30, 2010 at 10:59 amSack up and spill the beans. Then pour a drink.
rockle says
March 30, 2010 at 11:01 amI stay outta that stuff because it never ends well.
Owengirl79 says
March 30, 2010 at 11:01 amTell gently so friend can make choices based on reality.
Angela says
March 30, 2010 at 11:03 am“You two still dating? Steve saw Sandy with some guy.”
(adjust for gender, couldn’t tell from the drawings.)
Nancy says
March 30, 2010 at 11:10 amZERO.TOLERANCE.FOR.CHEATERS.
e-mail friend Bossy’s post of today.
Lauren says
March 30, 2010 at 11:11 amBeing the last to know sucks. Take it from me.
There, that was my 10 words.
But here’s another ten words to clarify.
SWEET MONKEYS & RED WINE, TELL THEM ALREADY!
lazuette says
March 30, 2010 at 11:11 amTell potential cheater how it looked; PC confess or clarify.
Lizzy says
March 30, 2010 at 11:12 amUndecided, though quite possible I will lose sleep over it.
Betsey says
March 30, 2010 at 11:13 amThings are seldom what they seem. Wise words from _Pinafore_.
Betsey says
March 30, 2010 at 11:15 amToo much indirection – believe only first-person sightings – keep mouth zipped.
MidLifeMama says
March 30, 2010 at 11:19 amBeen there, done that. I told, we are still friends.
Becky says
March 30, 2010 at 11:22 amAssuming they’re exclusive, tell. I would’ve liked to have known,.
Mary K says
March 30, 2010 at 11:26 amTell immediately. Waiting isn’t kind; can imply complicity. NOT appreciated.
BOSSY says
March 30, 2010 at 11:28 amBossy is about not telling. Possible miscommunication, not witnessed firsthand.
Jonathan says
March 30, 2010 at 11:30 amYes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes Maybe …..
Well Read Hostess says
March 30, 2010 at 11:31 amRun, run like the wind. Unless it’s my husband, in which case. Call.
allison in houston says
March 30, 2010 at 11:38 amHey, I saw friend of friend the other night!
With some guy/girl–couldn’t see who.
Let friend decide if he/she needs to know anything else and he/she can ask his/her friend.
Not 10. I know.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
March 30, 2010 at 11:46 amA simple statement-not accusatory since we don’t know- suffices.
Catherine McP says
March 30, 2010 at 11:47 amUnless you got the facts Jack, stay out of it!
Reeb says
March 30, 2010 at 11:47 amDunno.
My current crisis one-person-removed: friend’s daughter + her creepy husband.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
March 30, 2010 at 11:49 amIf it’s innocent, no harm no foul. But if not…
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
March 30, 2010 at 11:51 amIf someone would have told me, I’d have been grateful.
Jean says
March 30, 2010 at 11:51 amI’ll always appreciate the person who tried to tell me.
Boy, that was hard to figure out a way to write in 10 words!
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
March 30, 2010 at 11:51 amBecause there’s nothing worse than being trapped with a cheater.
snowwhite says
March 30, 2010 at 11:58 amTough one…probably would not tell.. but watch like hawk.
Mary from California says
March 30, 2010 at 12:01 pmDo people still use the expression “mind your own beeswax”?
heidig says
March 30, 2010 at 12:09 pmyou always remember the one imparting bad news. uh ha!
Meg at the Members Lounge says
March 30, 2010 at 12:10 pmKeep eyes peeled for actual confirmation, zip lips for now.
Jenn @ Juggling LIfe says
March 30, 2010 at 12:11 pmI think Allison, number 29, nailed it. Ditto from me.
Liz says
March 30, 2010 at 12:15 pmTen words? How ’bout five: It’s always better to know.
ScottsdaleGirl says
March 30, 2010 at 12:23 pmCheaters suck.
Lauren says
March 30, 2010 at 12:24 pmRelationships are hard enough knowing where you stand, nevermind without.
Amy says
March 30, 2010 at 12:26 pmI dine with people who aren’t my spouse, but tell.
Kate says
March 30, 2010 at 12:28 pmBeen there. Thankfully my friend told me. Nobody else would.
foolery says
March 30, 2010 at 12:33 pmI’m with Chesapeake Bay Woman, others. Tread lightly, no embellishment.
Tom says
March 30, 2010 at 12:35 pmDoesn’t matter gay or straight, a cheater is a cheater!
APeetsMom says
March 30, 2010 at 12:50 pmWould want to be told by person who actually witnessed.
Gramps says
March 30, 2010 at 12:52 pmHell, it took me 5 minutes to figure out how to pronounce “egregious” so “HUH?”
bossy's friend amy says
March 30, 2010 at 12:55 pmalways sucks to be the last to know – take it from one who knows. always tell – if you witnessed said act – then absolutely tell.
cadiz12 says
March 30, 2010 at 1:00 pmI’m with Lazuette. Tell cheater to clarify or tell her.
Manic Mommy says
March 30, 2010 at 1:08 pmFriend should’ve said “hi”. Then ball is in cheater’s court.
Manic Mommy says
March 30, 2010 at 1:09 pm~~~~~~
Bonus words: If the friend is a good friend and the cheat-ee thinks the relationship with the cheat-er is going somewhere, tell.
Or as The Great Getzy wisely advises, point in the right direction. (His mom must be really, really smart.)
TanyaK says
March 30, 2010 at 1:14 pmMatter of factly: “I saw your friend last night at ________. How are things going?
Tracy (Oklahoma) says
March 30, 2010 at 1:16 pmMarried friend who’s doing the same. No answers here. Conflicted.
Red Hamster says
March 30, 2010 at 1:28 pm…wish someone had told me, but wouldn’t have believed them anyway… Sorry, too many words and not enough help.
Julie says
March 30, 2010 at 1:34 pmSame situation here.
My mouth stayed shut.
Couple now divorced.
Poor kids.
GrandeMocha says
March 30, 2010 at 1:42 pmI agree with Angela #16.
cynthiagirl says
March 30, 2010 at 1:45 pmI once told three gals their BF was also mine.
Bri says
March 30, 2010 at 1:57 pmIf you have an uneasy feeling about the sitch, tell.
janet says
March 30, 2010 at 2:01 pm1. What you think you know is a rumor. Don’t spread..
janet says
March 30, 2010 at 2:02 pm2. If there is cheating going on, she already knows it.
.
janet says
March 30, 2010 at 2:02 pm3. Don’t embarass her by telling her what she already knows
Jim says
March 30, 2010 at 2:08 pmI have a cheater next door to me and I try to let her huzzband know indirectly.
Dharmamama says
March 30, 2010 at 2:13 pmDepends on depth of friendship. Good friend, tell. Acquaintance, nah.
middle-aged-woman says
March 30, 2010 at 2:25 pmNo ten words from me. I just have to ‘fess up that I thought “Bossy’s-friend-who-is-not-herself” meant that your friend was behaving oddly, and you wondered what was going on. As in “She’s just not herself these days.” Feeling like a dork, now, but a properly punctuated dork.
jewelee says
March 30, 2010 at 2:54 pmY to the E to the S to the exclamation.
Amelia says
March 30, 2010 at 3:03 pmMy friend tells me she would rather have been told.
Pamela says
March 30, 2010 at 3:05 pmtold babysitter her slampiece had a slampiece on saturday. argh.
Jami says
March 30, 2010 at 3:06 pmIf you don’t know what REALLY happened, don’t spread rumors.
Kirsten says
March 30, 2010 at 3:07 pmI’m tipping over into telling, but without assuming the facts.
Chris says
March 30, 2010 at 3:18 pmI keep wondering how you got such a big head?
sugarpie says
March 30, 2010 at 3:26 pmUgh. Been there. Keep encouraging the eyewitness to step up.
Brava97 says
March 30, 2010 at 3:41 pm#63 janet said:
2. If there is cheating going on, she already knows it.
Are you EFFING kidding me, janet? I had no effing idea. Eff you.
V. says
March 30, 2010 at 4:02 pmTell. If it were you, you’d want to know. TELL.
Ruth says
March 30, 2010 at 4:04 pmI agree MYOB as tough as that is, Nuff said,
Kathy says
March 30, 2010 at 4:19 pmTell–because I was the person being cheated on and I am so glad the friend told me.
GK in MI says
March 30, 2010 at 4:23 pmHonesty is the best policy, even when it hurts. Tell.
Reeb says
March 30, 2010 at 4:51 pmThis is gonna be more than 10: a further development on my comment #32 (“dunno/ my friend’s daughter’s creepy husband etc”) …
Daughter’s Friend (“DF”) had a visitor to her house, who absolutely RECOILED at seeing photo of Daughter + Daughter’s Husband (“DH”) on her refrig. Apparently the visitor had a friend who had dated DH prior — I hope — to his marriage. There was an intervention because he was too controlling etc etc, all the stuff that Daughter has been learning the hard way, after the marriage.
Not sure if this relates or not. I need some stick figures to illustrate this please, Bossy. Okay, resume the 10-word thing.
BossysMom says
March 30, 2010 at 5:00 pmno no no no no but do what Getzby said
jen says
March 30, 2010 at 5:18 pmUnless you have absolute proof, do not tell. If it’s second-hand information, you could do more harm than good.
Such a dilemma. My husband’s best friend/boss cheated on his wife. Who was my good friend. I told her. She went to my husband for confirmation; he denied it. I lost a friend and almost a husband. Husband is still best friends with this guy. This guy also beat up his wife and lived with us for a month. Yeah, my husband also treats me like shit. But we have two kids.
Melis says
March 30, 2010 at 5:20 pmIf it were me, I’d want to know.
kathleen says
March 30, 2010 at 5:24 pmIf you tell, be prepared to lose a friend forever
kathleen says
March 30, 2010 at 5:27 pmif you don’t , be prepared to lose her trust forever
kathleen says
March 30, 2010 at 5:30 pmdon’t say anything until you are really, completely sure…wait
Doug says
March 30, 2010 at 5:34 pmIf I didn’t see it, I don’t talk about it.
virginia says
March 30, 2010 at 5:34 pmSay “big-eyes saw big-head with woman.” No speculation, just facts.
Bush Babe (of Granite Glen) says
March 30, 2010 at 5:41 pmGosh. Mention so-and-so saw him out. That’s all ‘they’ know.
jeanne Greenwald says
March 30, 2010 at 5:45 pmI don’t know WHAT to say. This is so complicated.
Rachael says
March 30, 2010 at 6:25 pm#34 said it all! Tell tell tell tell (tell)
krg says
March 30, 2010 at 6:36 pmunless it is your sister’s prick of a husband, no.
jp says
March 30, 2010 at 6:44 pmI told, bestfriend still not talking to me 25 yrs later!
(I would want to know so I could crush Husband with a cement block if true)
vuboq says
March 30, 2010 at 6:56 pmDo the honorable thing: Kill the friend’s friend’s love interest.
(I kid! I kind! Violence is never the answer … unless the question is “What is never the answer?”)
Tami Wyatt says
March 30, 2010 at 7:56 pmThe witness should be the one to mention the sighting.
Coco says
March 30, 2010 at 8:01 pmTelling what you don’t know is just telling a story.
Ain't Miss Beehaven says
March 30, 2010 at 9:38 pmhmmmmmmmm…………tough one………probably not but a hint wouldn’t hurt!
Niki says
March 30, 2010 at 9:50 pmNo No No No No No No No No No!!!!!
Lynn says
March 30, 2010 at 10:15 pmYou say no, but why you not want to know?
Lynn says
March 30, 2010 at 10:18 pmIn this day and age NO ONE can afford to take those kinds of chances — and you KNOW what I’m talkin’ about!!!!
Marnie says
March 30, 2010 at 10:22 pmNo way. Too many possibilities.
Katy says
March 30, 2010 at 10:43 pmLeave it. If witness tells, one thing. hearsay another.
Stepping out of ten words, the person that witnessed can swear to what they SAW, they can stand by absolute. What friend heard is another. If there was some kind of misconception friend will lose friend. If cheater convinces friend it was nothing, friend will lose friend. Leave it.
Kate says
March 30, 2010 at 10:44 pmI have a friend who is a very famous psychic. The best advice I ever heard her give, when her sister was in this situation, was that most everything that happens is between two people and if your not one of the people stay out of it. The girl did find out about the philandering on her own and the friendship was spared that messiness.
Hunter says
March 30, 2010 at 10:46 pmPeyton Place abounds. People love, hate, gossip, cheat, forgive… survive.
Cupcake Murphy says
March 30, 2010 at 10:48 pmIf certain of cheating dear lord wouldn’t you wanna know?
Shelley says
March 30, 2010 at 10:50 pmIf it were me, I’d want to know. The End.
goblinbox says
March 30, 2010 at 10:56 pm@jewelee ROFL! You win.
Dawn in Austin says
March 31, 2010 at 1:08 amHeresay not a good thing. You didn’t see, don’t tell.
Miss Spoken says
March 31, 2010 at 1:16 amUmmm… since when is being seen equal to The Cheating?
a says
March 31, 2010 at 1:19 amI put up with someone who cheated on me for far too long. I had no idea whatsoever. A clue from someone who knew anything would have been most helpful in ridding him far sooner than it did.
I think it depends on the relationship you have with the one who has been duped. My best friend? No question. My sister? Ditto… The the woman I barely know/like? Not so much.
Love the suggestion that one casually mentions how things are with X.. Feeling it out and if need be explaining what was heard lightheartedly.
a says
March 31, 2010 at 1:23 amThinking the Tiger Woods and Jesse James slutdom has opened our eyes to things that may be going on behind our backs and we have no clue of. Shocking displays of selfishness/ignorance/self importance and gratification.
Do you think Elin or Sandra would have liked a heads up? I think SO..
meleah rebeccah says
March 31, 2010 at 2:53 amI only need one word to answer that question: YES
K says
March 31, 2010 at 9:16 amTell only what you know… saw so-and-so out with other.
Amelia says
March 31, 2010 at 3:10 pmJen #82: there are worse things than being alone. Take care of yourself.
linda dorris says
March 31, 2010 at 7:41 pmI would want to be told.
Jodi says
March 31, 2010 at 9:48 pmTell what you know. Friends don’t leave friends in dark.
Meg says
April 2, 2010 at 2:20 pmIf it’s hearsay, then don’t tell. Post on Facebook instead.
(KIDDING! Really. Sorry.)
ally tart check says
April 2, 2010 at 10:41 pmbeen there, done that. i told. we aren’t friends. ssshhh!
Janet says
April 3, 2010 at 2:46 pmOff subject, but I agree w/Amelia’s advice to Jen. Run, Jen, Run! And take your children and your husband’s boss/friend’s wife with you.
debby says
October 23, 2013 at 8:08 amYou cannot always believe your eyes. I’d talk to boyfriend.