You are looking at a photo of a hotel on the outskirts of Albany, New York — and it was here, a few nights ago, that Bossy encountered the strangest of appliances.
Bossy should begin by apologizing if her intensive knowledge of cutting edge technology leaves anyone in the dust. Bossy can’t help it if she finds herself in the position to bring you a very early, exciting look at a product that may improve domestic science as we know it.
Shall we begin? The first thing Bossy spied was this, in her hotel’s vending machine:
It appeared to be popcorn, but it was contained within a flat pouch, which Bossy couldn’t reconcile. Still, for the price of one dollar, Bossy was up for the experiment. Once secured, Bossy looked for a receptacle that could transform this pouch into an overflowing bowl of popped kernels. What Bossy located was this:
It was a cart pushed into the corner of her hotel’s dining room, and it featured a toaster and a basket of dust-covered stunt baguettes — but what captured Bossy’s attention was the plant stand:
It was a black plastic box covered with buttons — but that’s not all! It also contained a beveled handle which, when opened, revealed a belly within the box. And within this belly within the box was a round object and — maybe it’s just Bossy’s adventurous spirit — but Bossy wanted to know what would happen if she placed her popcorn pouch on this round object:
It became obvious to Bossy she was going to need to depress one of the many buttons featured on the front of the black plastic box in order to activate the technology. The dilemma was deciding which button to choose:
In the end, Bossy went out on a limb and randomly selecting an unrelated setting and hoped for the best:
The only thing remaining was to wait:
But before Bossy could say What exactly is faster about this compared to when Bossy’s friend Jason pops the corn on his stovetop, the pouch began to expand within the belly and the black box beeped its conclusion:
Next Bossy removed the now expanded pouch and retired to her hotel room in order to complete the experiment. Bossy meticulously breached the pouch in order to reveal the contents:
Bossy is loathe to reveal the outcome of this technological experiment before a complete digestive cycle has occurred, but early results seem to suggest: it was popcorn. Don’t try this at home.