June 5, 2012

Baby Technology Has Come A Long Way


The other day Bossy had occasion to be in the baby aisle of Target, where occasion equals farting around the store so as to avoid going back to the office. And yes Bossy now has an office. An office which is dressed as a reception desk without walls.

Anyway. So there Bossy was, wandering around the baby section, when it occurred to her how much things have changed since Bossy’s own kids were little.

Case in point:


It used to be you’d lay your baby on a blanket in the middle of the floor until such time you needed to move said baby to a different blanket on a different floor.

But now babies recline in two-position swings with a five-point harness and detachable toy bar featuring an elephant humping another elephant:




There was a time babies were placed in rigid chairs where they would slide beneath the tray which had two settings: On the chair, and off the chair.

But now there are high chairs with padded infant inserts and six height adjustments, with non-marking lockable caster wheels.


Which brings us to this:


The only thing Bossy used to require of her stroller was a handle in which to hang the bag containing the wine bottle that was often heavier than the baby, threatening to topple the whole works backward. But now strollers are named things like The Jeep Liberty Sport X with all-terrain inflatable tires and a built-in toddler cup holder which solves the whole wine thing completely.

And speaking of wine:


There was a time when babies drank from things called cups, which they would pull to their lips while drawing the liquid across their tongues. But this practice has apparently been made obsolete by a colorful twist of silicone.

And speaking of leakage:


Which brings Bossy to her final example, perhaps the only advance in baby technology that Bossy supports:


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