November 26, 2012

The Owner’s Manual Is Larger Than The Mini Cooper


If you’ve never owned a Mini Cooper, there are things you don’t know. For instance you don’t know how many times you will ask your Unhusband to borrow his car in order to convey large objects. Such as an umbrella.

And if you’ve never owned a Mini Cooper, you don’t know that as soon as you engage the engine, the car barks orders at you. These orders are delivered through a series of robot beeps and flourishes, and are accompanied by flashing icons in the dashboard display.

Mostly the car warns things along the lines of snap your seatbelt dummy and who’s the chucklehead who needs gas again – you’re the chucklehead who needs gas again.

But the other day Bossy started up her car and saw this:


It was a triangle warning containing an unknown icon. In fact this unknown icon displayed two weeks in a row before Bossy remembered to look it up in her car’s manual. Which is to say, Bossy still hasn’t looked it up in her car’s manual. This why Bossy is so happy things are available online! For example car manuals.

So Bossy searched Google and found this:


Luckily Bossy soon located an online manual with a font larger than lint, and began her search for the indicator light section among the sister mercy 149 pages:


Soon Bossy had narrowed her search to include only indicator lights and their meaning:


Still, Bossy kept searching:


And searching:


Bossy never did figure out what her car is trying to tell her with it’s little snowflake inside of the triangle. Or maybe it’s the sun? Or a ferris wheel.

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