Yesterday Bossy went to the taping of John’s Stewart’s Daily Show. Shut up, did to! And it just so happens that two months ago Bossy went to the taping of Martha Stewart’s live show aptly titled Martha.
Well. One of those tapings was overwrought and overproduced and overly controlled. Guess which. While Martha’s pinched stage director dislocated his shoulders motioning for us to “show enthusiasm”, the Jon Stewart show returned from commercial breaks with a barely audible, “In Five, four, three, two.” Other contrasts include the bitchin pre-show music, delivered at Studio 54 decibels, meant to fire up the Jon Stewart crowd – while over in the Martha studios the audience sat in silence minus approximately seventy-eight snoring bull dogs (Bossy was there for Bulldog Appreciation day, which she didn’t.)
It may also come as no surprise that there’s plenty of cursing over on the Jon Stewart set – from robust no-makeup, no-nonsense interns to the very cute (although very short) host – compared to Martha’s cowed Stepford-interns, shoved inside size 0 ensembles.
Only, this: Both shows have a similar “holding tank” room meant to contain the audience before seating them in the studio (in actuality these staunchly institutional rooms gave Bossy the feeling she was being detained pre-trial), but one of the shows featured access to standard fare public restrooms while the other show featured vile, cootie-infested stalls that could only be described in a Martha way as “vintage bus station”. You guessed correctly. Advice for Miss Stewart: We are all watching, but some of us carry cameras:
How short is John Stewart? I hear he only comes up to the top of the produce shelf in my fridge.
Jon Stewart is 5’7”. Quite unimpressive. Of course, that’s not counting the height of his wit.
Looks like Martha’s recreating our jail cell’s toilets! Wow!
Jon Stewart is the sexpot of the century. Possibly two centuries. Or three.
Bossy, I do believe I love you. Where are you? You feel so FAR AWAY, my heart is breaking.