We want our money back. For all those years wasted learning to spell. It was an unnecessary evil. “Look it up!” Bossy’s dad cheerfully repeated throughout her childhood whenever she asked him how to spell a word. “But how can I look it up,” Bossy whined in grade school retort, “when I don’t know how to spell it?”
These days Bossy’s got her spell-check to keep her warm. Never mind that sometimes they don’t see I to I (sic). For instance when Bossy needs to use the word ‘poopy’ in a sentence and spell-check humorlessly issues an elbow-to-the-ribs reminder that what Bossy probably meant to type was ‘pope’.
More problematic can be the “auto-correct” option, which amounts to little invisible spell-mavens who sweep Bossy’s sentences behind her, capitalizing words and erasing Ebonics as they go. But at least spell-check distances Bossy from her crumbling Merriam-Webster. Bsiedes, it’s a porevn fcat taht you can raed tihs snetnece eevn wehn tehre ins’t a croertlcy selpeld wrod in the wolhe fcuinkg tinhg.