Almost eight days ago Bossy woke with a start
She felt like a weight had dropped onto her heart
A crazy burning-like pain completed the picture
Of Bossy’s terrible horrible esophagus stricture.
“It will be gone once I wake up,” Naïve Bossy thought.
She took all the Tums that her nice husband brought
But alas they did nothing – nada, ??????, niets, and nichts
So she returned to the drugstore in need of a fix.
She bought blue stuff and pink stuff – Pepto Biz and Mylanta
They tasted like chalk and made her gut swell like Santa
She stopped eating garlic and ceased with the wine
And took to the Internet for a sign she’d be fine.
But the news there was bad – very bad bad bad bad.
There’s GERD and Erosion – very sad sad sad sad.
And Bossy was convinced she had these things and more
Like perhaps the fine lining she’d inadvertently tore!
And all of these days Bossy slept not a wink
She’d get in her bed and she’d think and she’d think
Of all the injustices poured down her muscular tube
Esophagitis brought on by bad habits with food.
Unless you think cake before bed is just fine
Or fried aspirin with lemon washed down with red wine
Or lying down flat moments after you ate
So she called Dad-the-doc to determine her fate.
“Oh My Lord you should have paged me when all of this started,
Do you want to be one of the ‘Dearly Departed’?”
Well that’s not what he said cause he knew it was minor
But he suggested a pill that would help her sore liner.
Except it didn’t – and Bossy suffered through more nasty days
And her lack of good sleep left her in quite a haze
“Can’t I take something stronger?” she begged her doc Dad
“Because this is the worst thing I ever have had!”
So today a new pill Bossy hopes is the answer
Though she woke to news Ann Richards died: Esophageal cancer
A disease Bossy is trying not to think she possesses
God willing she’ll be fine once she removes her excesses.