The play begins when Three Witches – Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, and Donald Rumsfeld – meet in a thunderstorm to discuss who shall replace the traitorous Bill Clinton to become King of America. The Three Witches spy George W on his way home from a Texas Rangers game. “Yee shall be Thane of Texas, Thane of the Americas!” they declare. “You’ll be the Thane of our existence!”
Meanwhile the former King of America – George the Herbert Walker – wants to bequeath the kingship to his other boy Jeb. “Oh deserved son, you are Phi Beta Kappa,” says George the Herbert Walker. “You married a Mexican and signed up for the Vietnam Draft.”
But alas the Lady of George W learns of the Three Witches’ prediction and it enrages her to know her Father-in-law and his white-haired Nazi wife want Jeb to be their successor – and so Lady George urges her husband to fulfill his destiny in the best way she knows how. “Pass me the Thorazine,” she says.
Later that night – empowered by the ambitions of Rove, Cheney, and Rumsfeld – George W hallucinates that he is standing over the body of his slain father holding the bloody dagger. “It will kill my father if I become King instead of my brother,” George W announces to the slumped head of his Lady.
On the heath the Three Witches stir a brew while George W approacheth from Midland. “Double, double, toil and trouble,” chant Rove, Cheney, and Rumsfeld. “Beware Missouri, Montana, Rhode Island, and Virginia – as well as Ohio and Pennsylvania.”
Across the kingdom Jeb counts the hanging chads in español and waits his turn.
Fearing his eventual beheading, George W confronts his demons and the Ghost of Presidencies Past by issuing troops to faraway lands to serve upon the
rag-heads death and destruction. Back at the castle, Lady George begins sleepwalking and sleep-talking, her hands bloodied by the deaths of 2,871 troops. “That’s not the blood of the deceased Iraq army,” guffaws Lady G’s doctor. “You’ve bloodied your hands again prying open the childproof cap of your Xanax!”
In a few years time George W crumbles under his own stupidity while his brother Jeb realizes his own aspirations are finished. The former King of America – George the Herbert Walker – stands before a gathering to praise the character of his baby boy Jeb while silently renouncing his evil son George W through gasps and tears.
1peanut says
December 11, 2006 at 12:06 pmAwsome job on finding that long lost MacBush play. Do you know if anyone one is planning on putting on the show? I’d like some tickets please.