Twas the night before Christmas
When on Bossy’s Blog
Not a creature was stirring – except for that rodent thingy that everyone thinks is actually a rat who frolicks under Bossy’s bureau.
The stockings were hung by the hard drive with care
In hopes that St. Nick has some stuffer gifts to share – because Bossy is damned if she’s waiting in one more Target checkout line.
Bossy’s kids were nestled all snug in their posts
While visions their mom pulled a salary hung close.
With Bossy’s husband asleep and Bossy in her cute cap
Had just settled in for a marital flap
When out on her wetlands there arose some more water
What’s another few inches – how much is a lawyer?
Away to the computer like a dove Bossy soared,
And she plopped in her desk chair and clicked the keyboard,
When what to her wondering eyes should appear,
But her Blog’s viewer numbers which are stuck in first gear.
While other Blogs garner blog fans in the millions
And their Blog Hosts earn big bucks from blog-reading civilians,
I Am Bossy spins tires, coughs, sputters, and stalls
And lies soggy on very few Blog-rolls – Oh Balls.
Now Wolcott! Now Huffington! Now Kunstler! Now Dooce!
Daily KOS! And Ze Frank! Seth Godin! And ?? ??? ??!
What do they have that Bossy does not, by the way?
The answer dear friends: 114,000 Viewers A Day.
Save Bossy from whoring across all of cyberspace!
Forward i am bossy to three
influential friends today!
Pinko Punko saysDecember 22, 2006 at 7:42 pm
What’s better than Matzoh? Matzoh Ball soup. A nice broth for floating turds of mush.
Pinko Punko saysDecember 22, 2006 at 11:33 pm
Eat it yourself, chump. Pedicabo et irrumabo te, if you know what I’m saying, chundernozzle. You don’t play a playa like Bossy. You eat, you go home, you thank God above for granting you the lack of self-awareness that if present would most certainly render you non-functional, with a very poopy diaper.
I’m out, Bossy- keep it up, don’t let the cobags get you down. Consider their comments like mash notes from the less fortunate.
1peanut saysDecember 24, 2006 at 12:10 am
Bossy might not have as many viewers as she’d like, but she does have fiesty ones.
1peanut saysDecember 24, 2006 at 12:11 am
Sorry for the double post but I forgot-
Merry Christmas Bossy!
mdhatter saysDecember 24, 2006 at 11:51 am
wow, you got your own sockpuppet troll, lucky you.
I often wonder which mix of sadness, defeat, and lonliness motivates somone to do something so boring and pointless. As if being tedious and annoying makes the world better, or anyone happier, or the trolls point any stronger.
stop being so sad, okay troll? -hug-
almostinfamous saysDecember 24, 2006 at 1:39 pm
if i had friends apart from the imaginary/internet ones, i would totally forward this to them. having said that, i did forward this to many people
Res Publica saysDecember 25, 2006 at 1:18 am
Merry Christmas, Bossy!
Adorable Girlfriend saysDecember 26, 2006 at 1:10 pm
Hope you had a nice Christmas, Bossy.
Lauren saysDecember 28, 2006 at 7:41 pm
An interesting crowd here at I am Bossy. Anyway, you’re on MY blogroll. Loved your version of Twas the Night Before Christmas.
And Merry Christmas, late.
Chuckles saysJanuary 3, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Ok, I checked all those damn links in the post before I got to Res Publica chewing out the morons in the first three comments. I thought somewhere in those links there would be a fascinating, titillating or even just plain old pervy discussion of classic porn. Then I read on and learned that they are just totally lame trollwagons.
Damn. Anyway, because Res publica commands and as I apparently reside under his desk in his office, I guess I will make an effort to come by and read this here bloggo whenever Res lets me up for air.