I know you are in Park City Utah to promote your new movie – Grace is Gone – at the Sundance Film Festival. And I understand it’s a film about a myopic patriot who loses his wife in the war against Iraq and has to figure out a way to break the news to his two children while dealing with his newfound negativity toward national policy. Which is great and everything but doesn’t exactly explain why the Production Department has you all dressed up like Kevin Spacey:
But anyway. I know the issue of the Iraq war is a very trying subject for you – especially considering you’re a student of Noam Chomsky so when answering interview questions you tend to string together big words like, “egregious political act.” Believe me I know all that. But sweetie – you look tired:
And kind of… mad? Seething actually. Is it because I tease that your smoker’s cough sounds like a 120 hp Twin Cam Harley? Is it because you had to film every scene of Grace is Gone with those two child actors and not – off the top of my head – your girlfriend Diane Lane?
I bleed for you, pumpkin. And if you were here I’d do that thing you love with the thing on the thing. Doesn’t that sound nice Mr. Grumpy McGrumperton?