Responsible for more twisted plots than Stephen King, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed recently admitted he was the mastermind behind the September 11th terrorist attacks.
Of course his confession took place in Guantánamo Bay, a delightful little island harbor where the personnel relax the guests by hanging them from their feet.
Mohammed was born in Pakistan in 1964 and spent his formative years in Kuwait but had to travel to the United States to learn how to execute horrendous feats of Mechanical Engineering.
Mohammed attended North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University — a school that prides itself in its diverse student population:
After receiving his degree, Mohammed moved back to Afghanistan:
Here are just a few of the things Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, Khalid Shaikh Mohammad Ashraf Refaat Nabith Henin Khalid Adbul Wadood Salem Ali Abdul Majid Abdullah al-Fak’asi al-Ghamdior Fahd Bin Adballah Bin Khalid Khalid Sheikh Mohammed admitted he also masterminded:
- The Richard Reid shoe bomber attempt to blow up an airliner over the Atlantic Ocean
- The Bali nightclub bombing in Indonesia
- The 1993 World Trade Center attack
- The death of Daniel Pearl who was investigating the al Qaeda network
- The Operation Bojinka plot to destroy twelve commercial airliners crossing between the United States and Asia
- The Assassination attempt against then-Pope John Paul II
- The size Large turtlenecks hanging on the size Small rack
Mohammed planned these heinous things and more, which Mohammed likens to America’s fight for independence. “If now we were living in the Revolutionary War and George Washington he being arrested through Britain,” Mohammed said succinctly. “For sure he, they would consider him enemy combatant.”
Our George? Not so much.
Jennifer says
March 15, 2007 at 11:37 amI think he’s also guilty of stealing the cookie the cookie jar.
Who, he?
Yes, he!
Couldn’t be!
Jennifer says
March 15, 2007 at 11:38 amOops, that was supposed to be: “from the cookie jar”. I have a new desk and my fingers still typing from the old one.
blue girl says
March 15, 2007 at 2:30 pmFirst of all, I was born in 1964 and I hope I look a whole lot better than that dude.
Second, now that we’ve caught the man WHO’S RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING — is the War on Terror over?
Scott-O-Rama says
March 15, 2007 at 2:42 pmI’m sure all of his confessions were COMPLETELY VOLUNTARY and not coerced at all.
P.S. I also heard he was responsible for Britney and K-Fed’s breakup, Dave Letterman flopping at hosting the Oscars a few years back, and da Bears losing the Superbowl.
blue girl says
March 15, 2007 at 3:22 pmIsnt’ it *so sad* that the Bush administration has made SUCH A JOKE out of everything? A total joke!
Oh my God.
Dear Bossy,
Can you please do something about that?
Anita says
March 15, 2007 at 6:40 pmWith so many random terrorists, I wonder what courses of study are available at North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University? How to Disarm an Exploding Sheep 301 would be near the top of my list.
Tanya says
March 17, 2007 at 2:15 amIs it really bad that when I saw that headline, my first thought was “wow, I wonder how long they tortured him first?”
Get-off says
March 17, 2007 at 8:20 amFunny how prisons and renditions and torturing and everything is so secretive, then on a bad news week these admissions just, pop out.
Ha ha . . . so FUNNY!
Dexter says
March 18, 2007 at 11:35 amwhen i first saw it, I thought it was John Belushi doing cheeburger cheeburger