Only 518 Days Left To Learn How To Tap A Keg.

According to Christine Szczepanski, Co-Founder of College Admissions Services, “Visiting a college campus is an excellent way for a prospective student to weed through their propaganda.” Note to Bossy’s Teenage Son: When fancy pants Miss College Admissions Lady uses the word weed she’s referring to the verb. Is too.

Because Bossy believes everything Ms. Szczepanski says even though Ms. Szczepanski forgot to insert a few vowels in her last name — Bossy offers the following tips for visiting college campuses. Because also? Bossy’s primary objective is making her teenage son laugh out loud in Mrs. Scott’s classroom:

• Visit a nearby college or two as early as possible in your freshman or sophomore year. Note to Bossy’s Teenage Son: Or late in your Junior year. Late in your junior year is fine.

• Schedule your campus visits while the college is in session and students are attending classes. Note to Bossy’s Teenage Son: Or when the college is on Spring Break. When the college is on Spring Break is fine too. Really.

• Take pictures of the campus in order to help you remember each college’s attributes. Note to Bossy’s Teenage Son: Or not. Because Bossy is pretty sure not everyone has a camera at the age of seventeen. And while on the subject — just because Kory has a camera doesn’t mean you have to have one too.

• Schedule an appointment in advance for a guided tour because the available slots fill up quickly. Note to Bossy’s Teenage Son: That’s just a suggestion. It’s probably perfectly fine to show up on the campus of New York University without a tour reservation. How crowded and confusing could the NYU campus be? Gah.

• Participate in the college’s Information Session and prepare questions for the Admissions Officer. Note to Bossy’s Teenage Son: What Information Session? What Admissions Officer?

• Plan an overnight stay so you can see the college in a situation less staged than the tours. Note to Bossy’s Teenage Son: Bossy is sorry she did not schedule you for an overnight stay. What’s so wrong with staged anyway?

• Schedule a meeting with the college coach to tour their facilities and better determine your place on their team. Note to Bossy’s Teenage Son: Team Who? Bossy is sorry she never attended any of your high school basketball games and you felt unsupported and eventually quit. And ditto for the baseball games. And would you believe soccer?

• Arrange to sit-in on a myriad of classes to study the students and faculty in action. Note to Bossy’s Teenage Son: Bossy already thought of this! She signed you up for Basket Weaving 101 because Bossy is pretty sure Basket Weaving is a very popular major at the University of Chicago.

• Lastly, be sure to ask the following questions while on campus:
  
  
  1. What is the procedure for selecting a roommate?

  2. Are incoming students guaranteed housing?

  3. Can your mom move into your dorm room too?

Here Are More Tips For Visiting Campuses – But Bossy Misses You Already.