Bossy needed eight days of supervised bed rest in order to tell you about her Two-City Spring Break College Tour Extravaganza Part Two: New York City.
And even though this particular visit to New York was as pleasing as root canal without anesthesia,
who is Bossy to complain who is Bossy when not complaining:
Bossy’s alarm went off at 4:15 in the morning and minutes later they were crammed in the family car.
Next Bossy and her husband and daughter pulled their car into a parking lot adjacent to their East Village hotel. It cost $100 a night. The parking lot. The hotel room was way more but Bossy was certain it was going to be totally worth it. Just as soon as they could check-in. At three in the afternoon.
In the meantime they decided to stroll around the Village. Bossy’s husband diligently checked the weather forecast before leaving home — and he reported to Bossy that it was going to be mild in the low seventies! Which is why Bossy wore a skirt with no stockings and shoes with no socks and a shirt with no coat and a head with no brain – and why Bossy was so happy to find out that in fact the precise New York City temperature was this:
To kill time Bossy and her husband and daughter went strolling around Soho because Bossy loves to get inspired by all the trendy natives sporting the latest designers.
And here Bossy’s husband pretends he is getting paid millions of dollars to be the new Gap model like Bossy’s actual real-life friend Dermot
Moolruny Mulroney. After Bossy snapped this photo Bossy’s husband nailed himself to the wall above the summer chinos:
Then it was check-in time at the hotel! Three and a half minutes later it was check-out time at the hotel!
Bossy has only one word to describe the hotel they booked online: Holy Crap. Bossy isn’t one to name any names but she certainly hopes you avoid all hotels between 208 and 210 E. 14th Street.
And add to that list the Union-nay Air-squay Inn-nay.
After forty minutes spent online in Starbucks and forty dollars worth of Tall Café Mochas, Bossy’s husband located a new hotel, only sixty-two blocks away from their car! And this new hotel room was really nice — with plenty of space between the zipper and the cell phone compartment for a family of four:
And they lived happily ever after. After the Wardrobe Malfunction. You see
friends friend, Bossy hasn’t come clean about the real reason she was in a foul mood in New York. The real reason she was in a foul mood in New York is because she didn’t pack the right clothes. And in addition to packing all the wrong clothes she was freezing and so had to wear the entire contents of her Skyway Roller Suitcase all at once!
No matter, the next day was warmer and passed without incident. Unless you count the Marsala poisoning, or the part where Bossy was stalking this girl because she liked her hair and was almost socked in the jaw after stealing this photo of the girl at a coffee bar:
Later that evening when Bossy and her husband and daughter and son had exhausted New York City they hit up Magnolia and macked on some cupcakes: