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Things That Make You Want To Drink Gin Straight From The Cat Bowl.

This past weekend Bossy’s husband grew an enormous lump behind his ear. It’s three inches long, misshapen, red, and appears to be emptying into an adjacent lima bean-size sack on his neck. And yes it’s exactly as sexy as Bossy makes it sound.

On Sunday night Bossy sent her husband to the Emergency Room. Bossy would have accompanied her husband to the Emergency Room but she was too busy admiring her Mother’s Day gifts gift heaping glass of wine.

Two hours later Bossy’s husband returned with a fistful of antibiotics and a diagnosis: Skin Infection. Which makes all kinds of sense to Bossy since it came from nowhere, is related to nothing, and is still growing incrementally — even with the antibiotic.

Which is why Bossy is turning to WrongDiagnosis.com. This self-diagnose website is a hypochondriac’s wet dream nocturnal emission. You can research your condition, cross-reference symptoms, or window shop Silent Killer Diseases.

It even includes a Fun section with informative medical cartoons, such as the following:

Medical_cartoon_4

Click Here For The Website. Meanwhile Who Knew Small Ears Was A Symptom?

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Comments

  2. I love that line from Traveling Mercies….. Soooo many things make me want to drink gin from the cat dish. I expect that many things about my life also make Jesus want to drink gin from cat dish. But, whatcha gonna do!?

    Hope the icky clears right up. Your hubby is cute enough to keep….. even with that goober behind his ear.

  3. Once again, what do I have the hardest at? The crotch joke. Bossy, I think we occupy the same comedy frequency.

    Hope your husband’s alien infestation clears up soon.

  5. Yikes. Tracey agrees with Bossy about Wrong Diagnosis. Tracey had angiogram on Sunday’s visit to the ER!

    Really, though, have him watch that and be sure it’s not an abcess. Glad you sent him in.

    (ps…how can Bossy’s hair be overgrown? didn’t Bossy just get it whacked?)

  6. Ewww…
    Very sexy, indeed. I want to know what emergency room got him outta there in two hours, because apparently even with a deydrated, puking 2yo they keep you for seven.

    Did you also know there are websites out there DEVOTED to the kind of thing that your husband has? Apparently they pay good money for zit pictures. And people post them on Youtube. Whackos.

  7. To Whom It May Concern: Bossy’s husband went to the really good kind of Emergency Room – the kind that is affiliated with several decent hospitals while not itself staffed by anyone you can actually trust… the kind of Emergency Room that stays empty because most people don’t appreciate going in for a broken arm and being treated for a yeast infection.

  9. Farty already has stopped reading you at work: too much effort cleaning coffee off the screen.

    Hubby’s zit sounds even bigger than BOSSY’s. Get well soon, hubby.

  10. Bleck! That made my head itch, reading it! Hope it goes away fast! I need to get a block for sites like webMD because I can have PMS, yet after thirty minutes cross-referencing my sypmtoms, I REALLY have lupus, bipolar disorder, and possibly am pre-diabetic. And a freakishly overactive imagination that only kicks in when medical symptoms are involved.

  11. These kinds of ED dx are happening more and more. It’s a result of the anti-bacterial world we have put together for children. Hence, if we would just let them lick each other and the floor like AG’s mom did when she was a kid–Mr. Bossy could have stayed home and did the dishes.

  13. Gah, I hope your hubby feels better! At least he WENT to the hospital. Unlike my own spousal unit who in just these kinds of medical instances chooses instead to employ the Mind Over Matter method of treatment, thereby ignoring said ailment until it transcends minor medical emergency status and develops into full blown drain the emergency fund status.

    So, uh, did you at least acquire any phat mother’s day loot for your troubles?

  14. With all the construction and whatnot going on at Bossy’s crib, Is Mr. Bossy sure it isn’t spider eggs or carpenter bees in there? Now THAT would be yucky!!!!

  17. What hospital did he go to that he made it back in 2 hours, and over the week-end?!?!?

    Sure hope that sexy lump resolves quickly before he grows an arrow pointing at his privates.

  18. I may be the only person, but I do find that slightly fun. My man finds it completely disguisting, but I love popping his back pimples. Eww. I know.

  19. um, an update, perhaps, on what the alien growth is doing? Things are a bit slow around here today.