Bossy loves change as much as finding out that Ikea is now making their square white pillar candle a full ½” smaller than their old white pillar candle. Also? Now it’s mauve.
Sort of reminds Bossy of how she loves change as much as finding out that Ikea’s new drinking glasses are altogether taller and narrower than the glasses she purchased there last season.
Which is why Bossy was so excited to hear about the impending change in her beloved Google search engine. From now until the smelly dusk of eternity, Google will combine all the different Web searches — video, news, web sites— into one Universal Search that will be presented on one page. Video. News. Web sites. All on the same page. When you are searching. On Google.
Also — all the searches will be presented on the same page.
This makes all the sense in the world to Bossy because when she is in the supermarket to buy milk, she loves finding her carton nestled in between the cat litter and the frozen waffles. Batteries, cake flour, zucchini blossoms, sour cream — all shoved together in one
fat-ass aisle Universal Search.
According to Google this new system will be a vast improvement for their
advertisers dedicated users. Bossy’s daughter was so excited about the new bamboozled Google changes she nearly spit out her cinnamon toast!
Noelle saysMay 18, 2007 at 9:52 am
Oh, this is all kinds of no good. I’m already annoyed that they’ve changed the toolbar on my iGoogle a few days ago. I’m also annoyed that it’s now iGoogle instead of Personalized Google. I wish Google was a democracy so we could vote against these needless changes.
Oh, The Joys saysMay 18, 2007 at 9:54 am
(You will need an iron constitution for the bs I’ve tagged you for today…)
Bon saysMay 18, 2007 at 10:19 am
i live in what is apparently the hindquarter of civilization, and am embittered about those of you with Ikea access, but still…mauve?!?
orangeblossoms saysMay 18, 2007 at 10:41 am
I love my zen perfect google search page– just the big logo and a search box with options. But not too many options– just enough options. I want my options. I want my plain good google. No more change. Change bad. Well, okay, some change is good. Like in the White House, for example. They really do need a better gardner who will whack out those terrible Bushes.
lady macleodl saysMay 18, 2007 at 10:48 am
OR what about when you go in to purchase the shade of lipstick it took you months to find, just perfect for your paler than pale complexion and without glitter – and you find they have DISCONTINUED it for something “new and stylish”? grrr
My Goggle comes in backwards now…well backwards to me.
Jen M. saysMay 18, 2007 at 11:40 am
Well, I am a computer idiot, anyway, so I doubt this will change my technological IG. But Bossy, your daughter is absolutely lovely! Such a cutie!
slouching mom saysMay 18, 2007 at 11:54 am
Heh. Change sends me into a tailspin. As when I recently installed the new version of Explorer, and now I can’t find anything on the toolbar anymore. It’s maddening.
And don’t get me started on my deodorant woes. I’ll just say this: does Secret have to mess with its product line every four weeks? And do women really need to choose among TEN scents? Sheesh. Give me back my Spring Breeze, Secret!
Karen saysMay 18, 2007 at 12:29 pm
oh dear, my future google searches are now going to include weeping and gnashing of teeth, probably followed by sobbing and swearing.
Domestic Goddess saysMay 18, 2007 at 12:31 pm
This happens to me all the time.
First, I find a shampoo I like. They get rid of it. Then I find body wash I like. Gone in three months. My favorite toenail polish? Purple Pleather? haven’t seen it in two years. Bastitches.
As for the IKEA candle, I went two weeks ago looking for a kitchen item, which was there, but can you believe they added red to it? I mean, my kitchen is sage and beige and white, no red in site. Now it doesn’t match! WAAAAHHHH!
That search nonsense is going to kill me. I can’t stand it. I’m turning the computer off…and turning it right back on again.
Mrs. Chicky saysMay 18, 2007 at 1:12 pm
Did someone say “change”?
If you’re looking for me I’ll be in bed under the covers.
Les~ saysMay 18, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Kind of um, like, yo yo yo, Snoop Dawg’s Gizoogle, yo! (http://www.gizoogle.com/index.php?translate=false)
So much googlin’ so little time!
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah saysMay 18, 2007 at 5:21 pm
This could be a huge problem, this IKEA thing. Not that I don’t love bisque candles, because I do, it is just a question of replacing the red wine glasses that keep getting broken somehow.
I guess it is a good thing they are only about $1.99 each.
Her Bad Mother saysMay 18, 2007 at 7:48 pm
Isn’t bisque a soup?
Jodi saysMay 18, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Oh. So, now when I use Google I have to wade through even more crap?!
Clair saysMay 19, 2007 at 4:30 am
Body wash, shampoo, lipstick, and now candles. Why get attached to anything, as it’s bound to disappear. So very sad.
boomama saysMay 19, 2007 at 8:59 am
Okay? The business about all Google results being on one page? That’s just a bunch of crazy talk. Why? Why would they do that? WHY?
And a, um, mauve candle? Is it 1989 again? If so, I guess I’d better pull out my stirrup pants….
Adorable Girlfriend saysMay 19, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Stirrup pants, please gawd, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
moi saysMay 19, 2007 at 6:19 pm
Okay, you know I’m fashion ADD when all I hear is stirrup pants. And the word mauve. Shudder on both fronts.
Nicole saysMay 19, 2007 at 7:19 pm
Google. no! Why? Why are you doing this to me? Was it something I said? Was it something I did? Why are you turning my life upside down? Tell me what I did and I’ll change, I’ll be good! Just stop making all these crazy decisions and ruing my life!!
Angie saysMay 19, 2007 at 9:03 pm
Ikea is over-rated anyhow. 🙂
Google, on the other hand, is making a huge mistake. I agree with your little slip up top about the change being good for the advertiser. Because, as you know, it’s all about the cash.
bobbarama saysMay 20, 2007 at 1:54 am
I can’t be sure, but I think that top candle was struck by a tiny meteorite. Just sayin’
Andrew saysMay 20, 2007 at 1:38 pm
You’re right about all of it except the Google bitchin’. Everyone who whined about it in the comments is stupid too. iGoogle is still your personalized homepage, it’s just a different name. Wake up. The “plain old search” still searches the same way it did before, only now you can see a couple insights into the other categories of search. This does not hinder, this helps. And it does nothing for advertisers. By giving you more things to look at in the search results, they are actually pulling your attention away from the text ads, so what are you smoking?
I guess you’re just running out of things to complain about because this one was pathetic.
lame saysMay 20, 2007 at 1:43 pm
You realize that your blog has more crap on it than Google’s searches, right?? You have more ads than most people and nothing looks nice. It’s all strewn about. Try not to dis yourself so much, eh?
Res Publica saysMay 20, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Yeah Bossy, you suck! Where do you get off stating your opinions…on your own blog?!?!?! What a LOSER!!
For what it’s worth, I’m with you. Change iSucks.
BOSSY saysMay 20, 2007 at 4:49 pm
Dear Bossy dissenters: Dad, is that you?
(Bossy agrees that her blog pages are as cluttered as a junk drawer. She lost a pen in here somewhere – anyone see it?)
Tracey saysMay 20, 2007 at 8:39 pm
Bossy, you must do your grocery shopping at Dodsons, where the chips are right across from the pitch forks. It would only make sense for the kitty litter to be alongside the milk here. Perhaps it’s because I shop in a place such as this that the whole Google mess appears somewhat…er…normal.
Now…bisque candles? That’s just crazy talk.
Elizabeth saysMay 21, 2007 at 11:47 am
I do not understand why people are complaining that your site is too cluttered. It looks FINE to me. But that mauve candle? No, no, no. I had a roommate at MSU who showed up on the first day with matching! mauve! Bedspreads! for our beds! yay! Made me want to GAG.
Adorable Girlfriend saysMay 21, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Mauve bed spreads? Nice.
Jen M. saysMay 21, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Would the Bossy Dissenters kindly do a Google search on “if you don’t have anything nice to say…”
Erin saysMay 21, 2007 at 11:17 pm
My favorite bisque is Tomato Bisque… didn’t know it was a color, too:0
Brando saysMay 22, 2007 at 12:43 am
The free market createth, and the free market fucketh up.
Mamacita saysMay 23, 2007 at 11:45 am
And what about the cost of those candles? As the candles shrink…the price grows…