Born in Lynchburg Virginia, heavy on the lynch. Insert snarky comment here about bootlegger father and atheist grandfather. Founded a (snide adjective) church, then a (irritated adjective) bible college. Reference incogitable support of racial segregation here. Called Dr. Martin Luther King’s effort The Civil Wrongs Movement. Took over the PTL Club (Tammy Faye mascara joke) and Heritage USA (lewd sexual reference to Jessica Hahn). Insert Christian morality stuff, the Faith Based Initiative, and also some Christian morality stuff here. Falwell’s 9/11 Quote: “The pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, the ACLU, and the People For the American Way helped this happen.” Ass.