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i am bossy

Because Bossy Didn’t Feel Enough Like Her Grandmother Charlotte.

Dear iPhone,

While Bossy adores technology and thinks it’s really smelly swell that you are a combination cell phone, media player and wireless Web-surfing device — and while Bossy loves change nearly as much as she loves this feeling and it’s been a whole two minutes since you launched your last product — Bossy has only one little question for you: Where are the fooking numbers?

Iphone_2

Bossy thinks a phone with no numbers is almost as exciting as the thought of everyone driving while surfing their iPhone internet for photos of Lindsay Lohan slitting throats.

Friends Don’t Let Friends Buy A Distracting Cell Phone That’s Five Hundred And Fifty Dollars More Than Every Other Cell Phone! Available June 29th

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Comments

  1. I’m just going to wait a year or two until they fix all the problems with the first model. Then I’m going to wait another year or two until they can up the memory and power on those things. Then, I’ll probably wait six months for the price to go down. Six months after that, everyone and their mother will have one. Finally, when the damn thing works with Verizon, I’ll wait until I can get a free one from winning some contest. Maybe it’ll have buttons by then.

  4. Maybe (since iproducts are soooo technologically advanced) it knows the numbers by heart and reads your mind? Or it is voice activated?
    I am scared of that thing…

  5. Hmmmm. I have been wanting a new phone. I don’t know if this fans or dampers that urge.

    Is that a manicured man hand? One time I was watching This Old House and I noticed that Norm had manicured nails. It made me a little uncomfortable then and still does. Not this hand … just Norm’s.

  6. Bossy, as usual is so right. I used to have a recurring nightmare about trying to dial 911, but all the numbers were missing from the phone buttons. I would wake up in a total panic. Very bad. Today, thanks to your blog, I realized it had just been a premonition of the I-phone. Thanks Bossy.

  7. I’m with you on this. I have one of those fancy little devices (treo 700), and can’t wait until my 2 year contract is up so that I can trade it in for a regular flip phone.
    I don’t like it when my phone calls people on its own:o

  8. A cell phone with no buttons sounds perfect. Sorry, couldn’t call you, no buttons you see. Shhh, I’m listening to Tupac.

  9. I’m so torn – I need a new phone, I need a new iPod, I’m already with Cingular (which used to be AT&T and is now AT&T again) – but it’s so expensive and it doesn’t have any buttons. Maybe I’ll just go hide under a rock.

  10. Great, I need a computer science degree to work it. I guess I will have to pass on on the IPhone. On my current phone, I can’t even figure out how to take pictures on it.

  11. ARGH! I’m married to a tech-ie kinda guy who used to work at a phone company. Needless to say I always got the latest and greatest. Sounds great right?! I just means that by the time I finally figured out how to use the dam thing, I had some new nightmare lol. What’s wrong with a basic phone I ask? I HATE those touch screen things! I have a TREO that puts people on hold when I’m talking to them. (I must have super sharp cheekbones or something!)
    Thanks for letting me rant and for the great blog!

  13. Alrighty then. I detect a tad bit o’ irony here. I Heart Macintosh precisely because it’s so user friendly. But this doesn’t smell like user friendly to me. In fact, it will most likely take me 9.6 billion light years to figure out what all those little pictures mean. Sheesh.

  14. Great– more technology I’ll never understand! I just learned how to use pay per view! Bossy- thanks for showing me I’m not the only retard!

  15. I got a Sony Ericsson (Right before the iPhone came out)
    It plays music, takes pics and video and I didn’t even realize until I played around with it that it SURFS the ‘Net. So I added unlimited internet access for an extra $15 a month. Works for me.
    It was only about $150.

  17. The beauty of the iPhone is you can lose three devices at once!

    And the Lohan photos — does she know anyone who can spell intervention?

  19. my cell phone doesnt have any number buttons either. its an older one and still has a dial