First Bossy highlights her hair. She went to an expensive salon had her friend Martha do it. They used a drugstore brand and it turned out exactly like the box!
Then Bossy grew A New Horn special for her secret BlogHer roommate.
Next Bossy opened up her closet and studied her options.
Bossy smelled each and every underarm to determine which clothes should be sent to the dry cleaner.
And this is Bossy’s dry cleaner:
Next Bossy washed a variety of shirts to match any occasion.
Don’t forget your feet, Bossy!
With toes complete, Bossy tries to figure out what kind of footwear to bring. Which of these shoes go better with Ass-Kissing jeans?
The sneaker matches the toenail polish that no one will see if you wear the sneaker. That way, only you will know how clever you are, and you’ll be able to secretly hold that over everyone’s head.
Also, the sneaker will look better with the jeans and if ass-kicking ensues, they’ll protect your pedicured toes from the asses being kicked.
bossy’s secret roommate has a special surprise… a matching horn placed in the identical location. Perhaps bossy and her roommmate should give in now and plan to dress like twins. Heh.
Seriously… CAN’T WAIT!
Just a word of warning, your secret roommate doesn’t wear panties. Not sure which that would be worse on: the pedicure or the tennies. Depends on if she waxed I guess…
I should also clarify on my previous comment that it would depend on whether it’s Jess’s ass you are kicking.
Please don’t ask me to explain further. I’ve already thouroughly confused myself.
I’ve been pretending like I don’t have this stress in front of me. I figure I have a few more hours until I slap myself in the face and get started.
Precision job on the pedicure AND an unshaven big toe. How fabulous.
the chucks. they are chucks right? if they aren’t chucks…what are they? because i think i need them.
what size are you?
they look pretty raggedy. you might need a new pair. actually. the ones on the left look way better.
yes. pack the imposter chucks (because something tells me they are not chucks), in with the onesee you’re going to send me.
these toes:
http://anxiousaboutlife.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/04/30/toes_038_2.jpg
need those chucks.
People, people: It’s Ass-Kissing, not ass-kicking. Bossy would last three seconds in a fight! With a feather!
The red shoes match your zit. I pick those.
http://momo-fali.blogspot.com
Bossy has some pretty cruel friends. I’m not feeling the love here, people!
Pack both. You have room!
As for the zit, don’t you have a nice pair of glasses or shades to hide that? No one will ever know.
Bossy is her own special breed of hot, no?
Looks like you’re all set. Have fun.
As a guy, I love hearing all the pre-BlogHer prep that all my favorite bloggers are going through. If guys were going to BlogHim, I don’t think we’d be worrying about the same things. We’d just have to remember to pack clean underwear and a bottle of Advil. Worry not, Bossy! Have an awesome time. Can’t wait to hear all about it.
Pack both. That’s my professional ass-kissing opinion.
Have fun, I can’t wait to hear about it.
Bossy, the sandals are the HAWT! And it’s supposed to be quite hot in Chicago this weekend. So my vote is for sandals.
Ass kissing? You want ass kissing? Your last few comments on my blog, particulary the one in which you compared my second born to a deer tick, worthy of serious “You are the comment-natrix diva” ass kissing. (clearly the “t” in comment-natrix needs to be silent, but I feared you thinking I was calling you common, becuase that you most certainly aren’t, you-pulled-from-the-cover-of-a-hair-dye-box-diva-you.)
Knock’em dead!
Is barefoot an option?
Bring both, the sandals for looking snazzy and the chucks for acting all casual.
If you need even more bonus dots, haul yourself over to my place. I’ve got dots galore and would be willing to share them with you any day.
Have fun, Bossy! I, like all your other readers, can’t wait to hear about it.
Are you gonna post while you’re there? You should…give us little snippets of funny.
Farty thinks BOSSY should see a specialist, that dot is almost visible at 400% magnification.
I see we share so many traits. Have a great time.
Cheers
The box comparison shot is uncanny. Unboxy, even.
Have a GREAT time!!!!!!! I’ll be signing loan documents while you lovely ladies part-ay. I’m jealous 🙁
it’s not about what goes with the jeans, but what goes w/ the horn.
sucks that i’m going out of town. i was going to meet up with ‘y’ and show her around.
have a blogtastic time.
god, that was cheesey.
I’ve seen you in person, and methinks your self-deprecation is charming and funny, but ever-so-slightly wrong, because you are a lovely lookin’ lady. For reals, yo.
totally jealous – but I have to ask. Whose ass would YOU be kissing? You’re a blogHer superstah!
That Molly Shannon skit has been one of my most favoritest ones for years. Hee!
Oh. My. Word.
I really missed meeting you, Bossy! I bet you were a hit!
Hi Bossy,
I just found your blog over at sk*rt and have to say you are the funniest person ever! You rock.
You looked beautiful! It was great to meet you!